Need advice from the men out there

[Artlover]

Quick question:

 

I posted here 2 weeks ago about a new guy I'm seeing. He's on vacation/shooting a film in another state. He called me last week to say hello and see how I was. I was happy he thought of me. He's coming to visit me in a week (we currently live in different states, but we'll be in the same place by the end of the year) and I'm looking forward to it.

 

I met Mr. X through a close friend. She is also very close to Mr.X. I just got off the phone with her and she mentioned he called her from Florida as well and gave her his number. He did not give me his number, nor did I ask for it. I just assumed we wouldn't talk until he got here. And I was perfectly ok with that, until I heard he gave her his number and not me.

 

The first thing that popped into my head (and my friend agreed) was that he didn't give me his number, because he thought I might call him 5 times a day or something stupid like that. Seeing as I'm a girl and he's a boy and we like each other "in that way." Meanwhile, he's known my friend for years and treats her like a boy. I'm being slightly facetious here, because I do think that men can sometimes have a tendency to overreact/assume prematurely that the new woman they're dating will want to move in after a week.

 

What is this about? He knows I have a life and marvels at all that I manage to cram into a week. And he calls me more than I call him. Is this just projection? Any thoughts?

 

P.S. I'm not angry, just irritated. And I have no intention of mentioning this to him. It's his number, he didn't have to give it to me. I'm just curious why men act like this with no reason!

[Owl]

Hi Artlover.

 

I think not giving you his number is likely just an oversight on his part. After all, you never asked for it, and he IS coming to see you in a week. I forget things like that all the time, unfortunately.

 

You are speculating he's worried you'll come down with a case of Clingy-Woman Syndrome (or CWS) and call him 5 times a day, but I rather doubt it. First, being called 5 times a day isn't a bad thing to some guys. Second, when it is bothersome, we can always say "Hey, I'm not really free to talk right now. Why don't I give you a call later on?" or something similar. In other words, just because you call 5 times a day doesn't mean he has to talk to you 5 times a day, so it rarely causes stress on the receiving end. Why would he bother trying to avoid it? Third, as you yourself mentioned, he KNOWS you have a busy life and wouldn't have time for much calling anyway. You've never called him 5 times a day before, so why would he believe you'd suddenly mutated into this obsessive-compulsive call-monster? Provided he's not a drooling moron of some sort, he WOULDN'T think this.

 

Basically no one has enough information here to be arriving at any conclusions except "I don't know what he was thinking, if he was thinking at all." Over-analyzing his motives will gain you nothing but frustration. Don't sweat it! You'll see him in a week -- ask him then. Tell him to get a cellphone while you're at it.

 

Cheers!

Quick question: I posted here 2 weeks ago about a new guy I'm seeing. He's on vacation/shooting a film in another state. He called me last week to say hello and see how I was. I was happy he thought of me. He's coming to visit me in a week (we currently live in different states, but we'll be in the same place by the end of the year) and I'm looking forward to it. I met Mr. X through a close friend. She is also very close to Mr.X. I just got off the phone with her and she mentioned he called her from Florida as well and gave her his number. He did not give me his number, nor did I ask for it. I just assumed we wouldn't talk until he got here. And I was perfectly ok with that, until I heard he gave her his number and not me. The first thing that popped into my head (and my friend agreed) was that he didn't give me his number, because he thought I might call him 5 times a day or something stupid like that. Seeing as I'm a girl and he's a boy and we like each other "in that way." Meanwhile, he's known my friend for years and treats her like a boy. I'm being slightly facetious here, because I do think that men can sometimes have a tendency to overreact/assume prematurely that the new woman they're dating will want to move in after a week. What is this about? He knows I have a life and marvels at all that I manage to cram into a week. And he calls me more than I call him. Is this just projection? Any thoughts? P.S. I'm not angry, just irritated. And I have no intention of mentioning this to him. It's his number, he didn't have to give it to me. I'm just curious why men act like this with no reason!

[Ed]

There are many possibile explainations why he did not give you his phone number. Some possible reasons could be offensive to you, but others are perfectly innocent. There is no need for me to speculate on this and I would suggest that you refrain from it too.

 

The best thing for you to do is take this (along with many other things in life) lightly and with a sense of humor. Don't let junk like this use up more than about five seconds of your mental powers of deduction. After your five seconds are up, blow it off, and continue on about your busy life as if it doesn't matter (and it really doesn't).

 

Be assured that if he is trying to tell you something in a roundabout way, don't worry, it will eventually become very clear to you.

[Artlover]

I'm over it.

There are many possibile explainations why he did not give you his phone number. Some possible reasons could be offensive to you, but others are perfectly innocent. There is no need for me to speculate on this and I would suggest that you refrain from it too. The best thing for you to do is take this (along with many other things in life) lightly and with a sense of humor. Don't let junk like this use up more than about five seconds of your mental powers of deduction. After your five seconds are up, blow it off, and continue on about your busy life as if it doesn't matter (and it really doesn't). Be assured that if he is trying to tell you something in a roundabout way, don't worry, it will eventually become very clear to you.