Maggiej Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 Hi everyone .I am so glad i found this sight i dont knwo who to talk to. I can talk to friends but they dont understand. Ok here is my long story short. I was married for 15 years with 3 kids.2 Boys 12,15;one girl 9. My ex is a compulsive lier and an recovering alcoholic for 5 years. I didnt love him for many years and couldnt take it so I left. At first I left the kids with him because I didnt have a place to go as soon as I got a home(2 months) i started getting the kids every other week. I started seeing someone after 3 months being gone. Now the problem I have is my boys are now living with the ex and he has told them all kinds of stories about me and my new partner. He has them not waqnting ot come to my house at all. My little girl lives with me and visits her dad then comes home and tells me what he has said. Now my new partner is having a VERY BIG PROBLEM dealing with me having to talk to my ex about the kids because it is mostly lies but i have tryed to tell him that even though I hate him I will always have to talk to him even though he has said and done alot of thing. HOW do I get him to under stand that i have to talk to him whether i want ot or not.My new partner is divorced with no kids.I really care about him but i cant keep fighting about having ot talk to the ex. Help please I dont know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 If your new guy cannot understand why you need to keep communication open, then i think you need to let the new guy leave. I'm divorced, with no kids. If I met someone with kids, one of the things i would have to consider is if I could handle someone with their ex. He knew about your situation going in. He needs to be able to accept it, or get out. Link to post Share on other sites
Mistaken Identity Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 I had the same problem. My new husband didn't understand why I had extensive contact with my ex regarding our daughter. In fact, he left me several times because of it. As it turned out, my ex died unexpectedly. And I have no guilt at all for my friendly relationship with him. My new husband said if my ex hadn't died we would have ended up divorced. Guess what? I'm divorcing him because I'm tired of his behavior. I think your partner may be worried that you'll reconcile with your ex. But you have to put your kids first. Do what's in their best interest. Unlike romantic relationships, your kids are part of you forever. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 It's his problem just like when I met my husband it was MY problem to deal with his communications with his ex. I just had to suck it up. I knew the deal going in and knew that he would have to talk with her on a regular basis. I'm sorry to say it but your guy is not mature enough to handle this kind of relationship. It's not for everybody that's for sure. It takes a strong and secure person. Doesn't sound like he fits the bill. Link to post Share on other sites
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