HK9ner Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 I'm the type of guy who likes to play 'hard to get' when I'm around a woman who likes me. I know this is a very unmanly, unmasculine type of thing to do, as it's usually the females who play the 'hard to get' role while the males do the chasing, but I'm pretty shy and for some weird reason I'm just like this. I like to hide my feelings and pretend I'm not interested in pursuing anything further when in fact I am. My question is, if a woman likes a guy and continues to show signs of interest in him, but the guy plays hard to get/seems uninterested (but really is), would she lose interest and give up on him thinking there's no point, or would this inspire her to become more aggressive and try even harder to win his heart? I know it really depends on the type of woman she is, but I would still like to hear your opinions, especially from the female members. What would you do in this situation? You really like the guy, but he just doesn't seem to be interested. Are you going to give up thinking there's no hope for anything beyond friendship or are you going to try even harder in hopes of changing the way he feels about you? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 If you give her NO SIGN OF INTEREST, you miss the boat. You could miss out on a wonderful experience because of your way of thinking and handling things. Most women will find someone else, even if they did like you. Just my 2 cents... Link to post Share on other sites
cygny Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 it would turn me off to you. because as you said, it indicates either a lack of interest or, far worse, an unmasculine attitude which i totally do not respect. i am only attracted to very masculine men. i know the players will claim it makes a woman work harder, and that is true for naive, somewhat needy or desperate women or very competitive, aggressive women. so by acting this way, that is the kind of woman you get. if that's what you want, keep doing it. Link to post Share on other sites
BlahBlahQueen Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 The only way for your ploy to work would be if you look like Brad Pitt. And even then, if you're shy as you say, a lack of obvious personality plus a standoffish attitude means I won't get a chance to see anything interesting about you. So Brad Pitt or no Brad Pitt, I'd get bored within five seconds and move on to a more responsive candidate. Women don't have to work to get men, because men are generally easy (sorry guys, but you know it's true ), so why would we even bother going out of our way to snag you? You'll never get laid this way, and I suspect that's the whole reason you're asking. You're not getting laid, are you. When on the market, you have to ask yourself what you can do to make yourself marketable. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 The thing with playing hard to get is that when the woman finally 'gets' you after all the chasing and wondering if you do really like her, she will wonder what all the fuss was about! We all want what we cant have and sometimes when we eventually get it, it doesnt live up to our expectations. What is it that you do whilst playing hard to get? Give us some insight into the 'games' that you play with ladies! Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 The thing with playing hard to get is that when the woman finally 'gets' you after all the chasing and wondering if you do really like her, she will wonder what all the fuss was about! We all want what we cant have and sometimes when we eventually get it, it doesnt live up to our expectations. What is it that you do whilst playing hard to get? Give us some insight into the 'games' that you play with ladies! Lishy, as usual, is absolutely right. Sometimes wanting is better than having. Trust me on this. Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 .............I like to hide my feelings and pretend I'm not interested in pursuing anything further when in fact I am. My question is, if a woman likes a guy and continues to show signs of interest in him, but the guy plays hard to get/seems uninterested (but really is), would she lose interest and give up on him thinking there's no point, or would this inspire her to become more aggressive and try even harder to win his heart? ......Are you going to give up thinking there's no hope for anything beyond friendship or are you going to try even harder in hopes of changing the way he feels about you? And how is this working for you? (Smiles and looks to Camera4, a la Dr Phil) I never get this when women do it. Life isn't a soap opera, or Act 1 of a 4 part Shakesperean play. Every woman is not Kate from Taming of the Shrew you know. If you don't show any interest what do you expect in return? Look at this like this... You are walking down the street, guy comes up to you, "Wanna buy a watch, its lovely look at it." "No thanks, not interested" you reply as you walk on. "Hey its only 50 dollars/euros/camels, and its worth five times that!" "No thanks, I dont need/want it. I told you I am not interested." As you continue to walk on and ignore his presence...... He isn't making a sale here is he? Because you are not interested he will likely go away and find someone with 50 camels to spare. What an odd analogy. Hmmm starting to worry myself here, a little. Link to post Share on other sites
exotic_virgin Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 I personaly get turned off if a guy says he will call one day and call the other... but I know girls who like it... I dont think its unmaculane... If its ur style... U get tthose who attract that style... I play ur game in reverse... Does it work... Well only guys who really like me wait around... But I have been single for a year.... And possibily for years too come... I get alot of interest but I always scrow by trying to protect my self too much... Link to post Share on other sites
Jools Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 Mate, whatever you do don't show no sign of interest, you will regret it as she most probably will give up and find someone else. It has happened to me, i knew a girl liked me but i took too long to tell her that i felt the same about her. And when i eventually did she had decided that she should move on and had found someone else. If this happens to you then it will probably end up being very painful for you, i couldn't sleep and actually made myself ill for over a month thinking about it, it wrecked my social life for a while and i'm currently climbing back from it. By all means play hard to get if thats what you want but dont over do it, don't do it for too long and give her at least some signs that you like her. Link to post Share on other sites
PlentyLV007 Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 I have been approached by guys that do play hard to get and I do and don't like it for the fact that I don't like playing games. My whole motto is "Actions speak louder than words". So if your showing this girl your not interested then, your going to end up loosing a great opportunity. How would you feel if it was the other way around? Are you attracted to people that play hard to get? Don't show interest? Or say they will call you the next day and then call you 3 days later? I mean...I don't get it!? This guy I'm seeing use to do that....and I told him, that I didn't get why he would tell me he would call me and then just call me 3 days later! Now he doesn't do that. I'm aggressive and I usually show my actions. I don't really like talking about what I would like to do or what I will do. Then if I don't do it , it causes dissapointment. Funny though because when I'm really not interested in someone they are way more interested. It's true for the majority that most people want what they can't have. Hope I didn't bounce around too much on the topic. Good Thread though. Makes me think! Link to post Share on other sites
csfong007 Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 If a guy shows no interest in me, I'm going to give up. Why waste my time when there are other fish in the sea? Truly, though, guy or gal, I don't like people who play any games whatsoever. It's a waste of time, no one benefits, and sometimes feelings are hurt. I'm not into playing hard to get male or female. Link to post Share on other sites
basscatcher Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 My question is, if a woman likes a guy and continues to show signs of interest in him, but the guy plays hard to get/seems uninterested (but really is), would she lose interest and give up on him thinking there's no point, or would this inspire her to become more aggressive and try even harder to win his heart? This happened to me last summer. The guy played hard to get, yet he was interested.. After about a month of shyt I blew him off. I am not a chaser, gameplayer and I don't like to be played with. F^cked him 3xs, then dissed him and walked on him... Hell if I was going to wait 2 weeks inbetween to hear from him.. BS.. If the guy wants to play hard to get then he wont hold onto me.. Link to post Share on other sites
PlentyLV007 Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 Hard to get in what way though? Sexually Interested or relationshiop wise? R you playing hard to get for a relationship or just sex? Why can't you just show interest? What's the big deal? R u afraid of getting rejected? Maybe the whole Hard to get role has worked for you? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 I'm the type of guy who likes to play 'hard to get' when I'm around a woman who likes me. I ususally do the same HK9NER...being aloof and indifferent for a period of time works wonders. But only for a period of time....you do it too long and you miss the boat. I know this is a very unmanly, unmasculine type of thing to do, as it's usually the females who play the 'hard to get' role while the males do the chasing, The above is actually false....when a woman finds a man she really likes and she has some self-confidence then she will chase the man. Remember, it is the women who always choose which man they want to be with... My question is, if a woman likes a guy and continues to show signs of interest in him, but the guy plays hard to get/seems uninterested (but really is), would she lose interest and give up on him thinking there's no point, or would this inspire her to become more aggressive and try even harder to win his heart? depends on the female and her personality and how much she likes you. its a good idea to be aloof early on and "feel" her out. the more and more signals you get from her that she likes you will tell you when to reel her in. if you never show interest back or ask her out then she'll always move on. Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 I'm pretty shy and for some weird reason I'm just like this. I like to hide my feelings and pretend I'm not interested in pursuing anything further when in fact I am. I know a musician who gets hit on quite a bit at his band's shows. He says he finds some of them attractive but hesitates to act on it. It makes some of these girls pursue him more, and I'm pretty sure he's not a monk. Some people of both sexes do this. Sometimes it's part of the act of a BS artist, sometimes the person is just more introverted and hesitant about reacting to the other person. Some people will pursue a challenge, someone who seems to be more mysterious and not bowling all over other women/men. Short term it may work , long term it becomes a bore and fizzles out. My question is, if a woman likes a guy and continues to show signs of interest in him, but the guy plays hard to get/seems uninterested (but really is), would she lose interest and give up on him thinking there's no point, or would this inspire her to become more aggressive and try even harder to win his heart? Nobody's a mind reader. If the person at some point doesn't try to contribute somewhat, doesn't ever seem to seek the other person out, why waste further time? Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 The problem is (from a womans point of view) How do you know if a guy IS interested? If they are playing hard to get how do you differentiate whether it is mind games or shyness or just not being interested? From my point of view, if a guy is playing hard to get I would see it as not being interested in me and I would lose interest quick. On the other hand I have a guy who shows no interest ie: he never calls me, but then he drives past my house beeping up at me and waving numerous times a week - Does that mean he is interested or playing games? Either way it gets boring and annoying very quickly plus it makes him look a fool! So whatever your game plan is surely honesty (without being clingy or needy) is the best policy? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 From my point of view, if a guy is playing hard to get I would see it as not being interested in me and I would lose interest quick. Not if you genuinely liked him a lot . Link to post Share on other sites
FataMorgana Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 If a guy shows no interest in me, I'm going to give up. Why waste my time when there are other fish in the sea? Truly, though, guy or gal, I don't like people who play any games whatsoever. It's a waste of time, no one benefits, and sometimes feelings are hurt. I'm not into playing hard to get male or female. great summary. I feel exactly the same way. Link to post Share on other sites
FataMorgana Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 The problem is (from a womans point of view) How do you know if a guy IS interested? If they are playing hard to get how do you differentiate whether it is mind games or shyness or just not being interested? So whatever your game plan is surely honesty (without being clingy or needy) is the best policy? great post Lishy....so true!!!! rep point coming your way 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cygny Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 Not if you genuinely liked him a lot . I might genuinely like him but if he's showing no interest he goes into either the friend, player or beta category pronto unless one or the other of us is in a relationship. Especially now that i know these player techniques BS. Link to post Share on other sites
LN8840K Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 I have played hard to get and the phone games ......for me the worst feeling in the world ....is wanting something you had and realizing while you were playing your game trying to be chased, some kat scooped you by showing interest Link to post Share on other sites
grace2005 Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I do believe that women are more attracted to men who play hard to get than to men who are pursuing. By the way it is one reason for doing NC with an ex as well as a period of NC with a woman you are interested in. Ever since I came to LS back in september I have believed in playing hard to get with either an ex I want to reconcile with or another woman I'm interested in. NC is one form of playing hard to get. As I've said on other threads I think the guy should wait 1 day to call after getting a girl's number. Then wait 4 days after that to call, then wait 8 days to call. It's important to space out the calls because that should get the girl thinking (if she is genuinely interested in the first place). If after the 3rd time you call and she never initiates a call then move on. She's not interested. She could be playing hard to get as well during the first 2-3 calls. But usually a woman who is interested will initiate a call after the 1st 3 times you call her. Also it's important for the guy to end the conversation first regardless of who initiated the call. End the conversation when it's at its peak. Don't wait until a dull moment to say "well I'll be seeing you bye now". I'm currently playing hard to get with my ex. She dumped me and came back and then I dumped her a month later mostly because I was angry that she dumped me and I wanted to get even. I'm in a dilema as to how long I should wait before I call her. It's been 28 days of NC so far. She's tried calling me like 6 times. I want her to beg me to take her back. I do think that calling a woman you are interested in everyday will kill her interest in you because it makes you look clingy. Link to post Share on other sites
cygny Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I do believe that women are more attracted to men who play hard to get than to men who are pursuing. By the way it is one reason for doing NC with an ex as well as a period of NC with a woman you are interested in. Ever since I came to LS back in september I have believed in playing hard to get with either an ex I want to reconcile with or another woman I'm interested in. NC is one form of playing hard to get. As I've said on other threads I think the guy should wait 1 day to call after getting a girl's number. Then wait 4 days after that to call, then wait 8 days to call. It's important to space out the calls because that should get the girl thinking (if she is genuinely interested in the first place). If after the 3rd time you call and she never initiates a call then move on. She's not interested. She could be playing hard to get as well during the first 2-3 calls. But usually a woman who is interested will initiate a call after the 1st 3 times you call her. Also it's important for the guy to end the conversation first regardless of who initiated the call. End the conversation when it's at its peak. Don't wait until a dull moment to say "well I'll be seeing you bye now". I'm currently playing hard to get with my ex. She dumped me and came back and then I dumped her a month later mostly because I was angry that she dumped me and I wanted to get even. I'm in a dilema as to how long I should wait before I call her. It's been 28 days of NC so far. She's tried calling me like 6 times. I want her to beg me to take her back. I do think that calling a woman you are interested in everyday will kill her interest in you because it makes you look clingy. she won't call you again unless she has no pride and then how can you respect her. it's just as well because you sound like a vindictive guy who's always got to have the upper hand. have fun with your doormats because that's the only type who will play it your way. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I do think that calling a woman you are interested in everyday will kill her interest in you because it makes you look clingy. Different strokes, for different folks. What works for you may not work for the others. Abit of cat and mouse is OK, thrill of the chase etc...But if it drags on for too long the game gets boring and I think most women would stop playing...Even if she liked the guy. Link to post Share on other sites
grace2005 Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I think women should do more pursuing than the men anyway. Why should the guy have to pursue? I have a shy personality so I guess playing hard to get is eaiser for me anyway. I don't want to risk saying something stupid. Silence is a powerful weapon. The fewer words I speak the better. Link to post Share on other sites
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