cygny Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 why should the woman pursue? i have done it before and it makes me feel masculine and just plain backwards. yuk. i want a man who doesn't sit on his ass and can take some initiative regarding me, because god knows once you are in a relationship if he doesn't have some drive you are both going nowhere. Link to post Share on other sites
lexilas Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I'd probably pursue for a short while...but if he showed no interest at all - it wouldn't take me long to move on. I'm old fashioned and believe the man should take the initiative and pursue the woman. Not that I wouldn't reciprocate once he showed interest but ultimately I believe he should take the lead. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HK9ner Posted January 13, 2006 Author Share Posted January 13, 2006 Wow, I didn’t think I would get so many responses. Thanks to everyone for sharing their thoughts and opinions. I really appreciate it. I realize that not reciprocating signs of interest is wrong and will get me no where. I know that feelings should not be hidden especially when dealing with something as important as relationships. So, the next time I see her, which will be tomorrow, I’m going to try my best to flirt, return the signs of interest and just show her that I really do care about her and want to take things further. If anyone else has any thoughts and opinions on this whole ‘guys playing hard to get’ topic, keep the posts coming! Link to post Share on other sites
Blackard Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 I'm the type of guy who likes to play 'hard to get' when I'm around a woman who likes me. I know this is a very unmanly, unmasculine type of thing to do, as it's usually the females who play the 'hard to get' role while the males do the chasing, but I'm pretty shy and for some weird reason I'm just like this. I like to hide my feelings and pretend I'm not interested in pursuing anything further when in fact I am. Its not unmanly dude, its immature...but it works. I did it all the time when I was a kid...and it worked A LOT. Hell, it worked on strippers in a strip club. Its called "Playing off" and it peaks their interest because you come off as "mysterious", and "inigma"...and many love drama in any form. Yeah, women will tell you that it does not work just like they say they want a "nice guy" who will open doors, pull out chairs, pay for dates, and then go home and crawl into bed with their "bad boy" boyfriend. ;p Link to post Share on other sites
Blackard Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 I realize that not reciprocating signs of interest is wrong and will get me no where. I know that feelings should not be hidden especially when dealing with something as important as relationships. So, the next time I see her, which will be tomorrow, I’m going to try my best to flirt, return the signs of interest and just show her that I really do care about her and want to take things further. NOW you sound like a chick ;p Read what you just wrote! Trust me. Come to the dark side of the force. ;p Link to post Share on other sites
cygny Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 Its not unmanly dude, its immature...but it works. I did it all the time when I was a kid...and it worked A LOT. Hell, it worked on strippers in a strip club. Its called "Playing off" and it peaks their interest because you come off as "mysterious", and "inigma"...and many love drama in any form. Yeah, women will tell you that it does not work just like they say they want a "nice guy" who will open doors, pull out chairs, pay for dates, and then go home and crawl into bed with their "bad boy" boyfriend. ;p and guys who say they want a girl to ask them out on dates, be hassle-free, and generally be supportive will tell her to do their laundry while they then go screw some fake-boobed golddigger whom they've taken shopping. the whole hard to get thing works both ways. people are more sophisticated now and catch on quicker because there are so many dating/seduction books and courses out. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 Yeah, women will tell you that it does not work just like they say they want a "nice guy" who will open doors, pull out chairs, pay for dates, and then go home and crawl into bed with their "bad boy" boyfriend. Women DO want a nice guy who has a good heart, but still want the badboy parts (not the a**h***, treat ya like crap, disrespectful kind)!! It has to be an even balance of both, but with respect. NOONE wants a "nice" person all the time. That gets boring. Besides, noone is 'nice and happy' 24/7. Link to post Share on other sites
Blackard Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 and guys who say they want a girl to ask them out on dates, be hassle-free, and generally be supportive will tell her to do their laundry while they then go screw some fake-boobed golddigger whom they've taken shopping. ...Or we could just meet a girl who will ask us out on dates and come with her own big boobs. ;p Mine came with both...and I still love her ass after all this time. Taking her away (to de Islands mon) for some romantic fun in the sun this week--because she has earned it time and again whether that be cooking, doing laundry, being my best friend. ;p ...and not always, but guys say what they mean. If we want women who will meet us halfway, that is what we want. We are a lot simpler (or simple minded ;p). Link to post Share on other sites
Deirdre Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 not that i hate to share some of the pursuing bit, but im only normally interested in guys who are actually particularly nice to me. i've remained indifferent to guys who looked handsome, who are capable, or rich who are your classic book attractive guy, so im unlikely to feel inspired to pursue them. however the guy who will always be the gentleman to help me when i needed help, friendly and all will usually won my interest. i would bother to give him the opportunity of asking me out, and though a bit of shyness is cute, acting indifferent will essentially tell me you're not interested, and im just gonna move on...cos the truth is.....there are plenty of fish out there in the sea......why waste time on a guy who doesnt even showed the teensiest interest? :confused: Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 I gladly support people who want to change for the better, but I struggle with feeling sympathy for someone who is acting silly, knowing that it's silly and asking people if they would accept his silly behavior and how far he can go in his silliness. That all seems quite supersilly. Isn't it time to stop coquetting like a little girl? And by the way, if this post was from a woman, I'd say the same about her. Link to post Share on other sites
cygny Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 ...Or we could just meet a girl who will ask us out on dates and come with her own big boobs. ;p Mine came with both...and I still love her ass after all this time. Taking her away (to de Islands mon) for some romantic fun in the sun this week--because she has earned it time and again whether that be cooking, doing laundry, being my best friend. ;p ...and not always, but guys say what they mean. If we want women who will meet us halfway, that is what we want. We are a lot simpler (or simple minded ;p). she earned it? ugh, she can have you if that's your attitude. seriously. and...guys do not say what they mean, they say what they think we need to hear in order to get us into bed and keep us there on call. for the most part. Link to post Share on other sites
grace2005 Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 By the way gentleman it is sexual harrassment to ask a woman out. That is the law of the land according to the books. It may not really be enforced all the time. Let the women come to you. You can woo & entice her to come to you through your actions like your smile and clean cut haircut. Talking friendly. There are ways to woo her to you without having to ask her out. Link to post Share on other sites
cygny Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 By the way gentleman it is sexual harrassment to ask a woman out. That is the law of the land according to the books. It may not really be enforced all the time. Let the women come to you. You can woo & entice her to come to you through your actions like your smile and clean cut haircut. Talking friendly. There are ways to woo her to you without having to ask her out. true, if she is naive or desperate. Link to post Share on other sites
chocolate_boy Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 I think women should do more pursuing than the men anyway. Why should the guy have to pursue? I have a shy personality so I guess playing hard to get is eaiser for me anyway. I don't want to risk saying something stupid. Silence is a powerful weapon. The fewer words I speak the better. Dunno how other guys feel about this, but a woman "pursuing" is a huge turn off to me, I like a girl to show interest, but I like to be the one that makes the moves. Sorry if that sounds sexist! Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 So Choccy Boy If a girl persues you and it turns you off, is there a way that she can turn it around and get your interest back? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 By the way gentleman it is sexual harrassment to ask a woman out. That is the law of the land according to the books. What? What planet do you live on?? Link to post Share on other sites
PlentyLV007 Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 I've always had to be the initiater...always....guys tend to tell me that I look very intimidating. I don't understand why? I'm very down to earth, funny, outgoing...I have no problem buying a guy a drink, or asking him out...I feel I have nothing to loose....yet if I really like a guy...I turn 180 and get really shy...especially if I get mixed signals.... I'm aggressive but not too much to scare a guy away...to me it's all about body language....you'll know when someone is interested in you by the way your talking to them....At least I think so.... Choccy boy have you ever dated a girl who approached you? Why is it such a turn off? Or are you just kinda scared of it? Link to post Share on other sites
BlahBlahQueen Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 What? What planet do you live on?? I think he was being sarcastic Link to post Share on other sites
chocolate_boy Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 I have never gone out with a girl who pursued me, not that I'm scared of it, it is just unattractive for me.. I dunno, maybe it's only me I'm sure lots of guys would love it. My last girlfriend made it clear she was interested the first night we met, I was with friends she also knew and she wanted to share my can to town with me, we were talking and she pressed her leg on mine etc. so the signs were there, but I was the one that grabbed her and kissed her (up against a wall outside lol, classy). I suppose a girl should make it apparent and give me a green light to go ahead, but I still like to be the one who progresses it. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 And Choccy boy the answer to my question is???????????? Link to post Share on other sites
chocolate_boy Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 And Choccy boy the answer to my question is???????????? I suppose it depends if I had any interest in her, if I did then yeah sure, I'd still like to lead though if you don't mind Just lay off and let him make the moves now, he knows you like him! Link to post Share on other sites
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