So there's this chick at work...

[amerikajin]

Hey guys, if you could take a break from the anti-porn and asian women threads just long enough to help me out, it would be much appreciated.

 

I swore I'd never even think of another workplace romance, but what can I say...I work at a frickin meat market. There's this Canadian chick who's of Indian descent, and she is one of the most gorgeous women I've ever had the privilege of looking at, much less speaking to, much more less ( can i say that?) going out for coffee with.

 

Skipping all the b.s., I think she is actually pretty interested in me. She's showing me all of the preliminary signs anyway, so that's not my concern here. The concern I have is, how do I work with her and yet not make things so awkward from here on out? When we met up the following day, I could tell that she was interested but there's also some tension now - the stakes are higher, I feel.

 

It's my mid-week break from work so I haven't seen her the last two days, and I only spoke to her briefly the day after we went out for coffee. I want to keep my distance so as not to come off as 'desperate' or 'clingy' but at the same time, I don't want her to think that I'm not interested at all either.

 

So my strategy is this: keep the workplace chit-chat to a minimum and start trying to do more things outside of work together. I think that seems like a cool strategy except that I hope she doesn't misinterpret my preoccupation with work as artificial and, hence, too much s*** for her to deal with.

 

Should I even waste my time worrying about this? Do I just keep it to friends? Or does anyone have an alternative plan? Anyone with experience dealing with office romances?

[ReluctantRomeo]

Hey guys, if you could take a break from the anti-porn and asian women threads just long enough to help me out, it would be much appreciated.

 

To be honest, it's a welcome break

 

 

Anyone with experience dealing with office romances?

 

Yes. All things being equal, romance outside the office is easier. But if you happen to fall for a cute coworker, I don't think this has to be a problem, provided:

 

- your office is big enough or you work far apart enough for you to be able to 90% avoid each other for a bit if it doesn't work out.

 

- you keep the action outside the office.

 

- you keep the romance moderately paced (no whirlwind romances) and behave maturely.

[amerikajin]

Yeah, RR, thanks for the response. I think it's that last one that I need to be careful of, but you're oh so right.

[Craig]

amerikajin, you may want to consider having the "pre-talk-talk". That is an acknowledgment of the feelings that are developing and that if things don't work out between the two of you that it won't affect the workplace.

 

RR is right, this is a welcome break.

[ReluctantRomeo]

Yeah, RR, thanks for the response. I think it's that last one that I need to be careful of, but you're oh so right.

 

My pleasure

[Yamaha]

So my strategy is this: keep the workplace chit-chat to a minimum and start trying to do more things outside of work together. I think that seems like a cool strategy except that I hope she doesn't misinterpret my preoccupation with work as artificial and, hence, too much s*** for her to deal with.

 

I think your strategy is good except I would inform her of your intentions so she doesn't have to wonder why you are being distant at work. If she's into you she will see the logic of it and it shouldn't be a problem. I agree with RR in that if things don't work out you need to be able to not see each other for a time so things can go back to normal ( also depends on the maturity of each party ).