Mbas Posted April 18 Posted April 18 Soā¦.. yeah I know it sounds bad and itās probably badā¦..Ā here is the situation , my uncle is a drunk narcissist with super annoying OCD(not that I am the best person ever myself). So she doesnāt like him, sho told me like a thousand times that she is not happy about her marriage, She clearly is into me and well Iām into her as well(what I said about loving her is an overstatement). She lives in another city and we used to chat sometimes and whenever I go for a visit we talk a lot and spend a lot of time together and she is mostly the one who tries to have time alone with me, we talked about a lot of stuff in the past and we have a lot in common. HERE is what got me confused: Last week we talked via chat and we talked about a lot of personal stuff and she told me things that she never told anyone about them, very personal and sensitive stuff (considering the society I live in) and she kept telling me that she trusts me more than anyone else, so this is not where she confused me, she after this told me out of nowhere that sheās very older than me and that sheās not good enough for me She is a very nice and polite person so now Iām confused about everythingā¦.. why did she tell that to me? Was it kind of a polite rejection? Even though I never expressed my feelings verballyā¦. I never admitted it or said it to her.Ā Ā So I just acted dumb and said that I didnāt know what she meantā¦. Our talk ended awkwardly and I was the one who made it awkward I thought that was it and I was wrong about how she felt but she found excuses to massage me afterwards and we had a couple of small conversations afterwardsā¦.. Ā The thing is I donāt know what to do nowā¦. I am confused whether she likes me or not and how I should step things upā¦. And also how I should find something to massage her aboutā¦. I was with quite a lot of girls before and never had any problems like thisā¦.. mainly because I didnāt like any of them like the way I like herā¦.. can you guys help me out?
Sony12 Posted April 18 Posted April 18 Get as far away from this situation as you can. For starters you don't truly know how she feels. Good chance she is just lonely and is just wanting someone to talk to. And even if she does have some feelings for you having an affair within the family is about the worst thing you could do. 1
BaileyB Posted April 18 Posted April 18 43 minutes ago, Mbas said: The thing is I donāt know what to do nowā¦. Is she still married? Because if she is - she is not available to pursue anything with anyone.Ā Also - it matters not if her husband is an alcoholic, a narcissist, or whether he has a mental illnessā¦ you mention this because you feel that it validates your decision to pursue a relationship with the manās wife. Not true. If he is a bad man and they have an unhealthy or unhappy relationship, she has the right to file for divorce not have an affair.Ā 1
Author Mbas Posted April 18 Author Posted April 18 13 minutes ago, BaileyB said: Is she still married? Because if she is - she is not available to pursue anything with anyone.Ā Also - it matters not if her husband is an alcoholic, a narcissist, or whether he has a mental illnessā¦ you mention this because you feel that it validates your decision to pursue a relationship with the manās wife. Not true. If he is a bad man and they have an unhealthy or unhappy relationship, she has the right to file for divorce not have an affair.Ā Yeah about thatā¦. Itās not how it works in my country, women canāt really do thatĀ
Author Mbas Posted April 18 Author Posted April 18 45 minutes ago, Sony12 said: Get as far away from this situation as you can. For starters you don't truly know how she feels. Good chance she is just lonely and is just wanting someone to talk to. And even if she does have some feelings for you having an affair within the family is about the worst thing you could do. Yeah youāre probably right, I mean you definitely are but stillā¦..Ā
BaileyB Posted April 18 Posted April 18 15 minutes ago, Mbas said: Itās not how it works in my country, women canāt really do thatĀ Is it socially acceptable for them to cheat on their husband?Ā
BaileyB Posted April 18 Posted April 18 1 hour ago, Sony12 said: having an affair within the family is about the worst thing you could do. Seconded.Ā
Author Mbas Posted April 18 Author Posted April 18 7 minutes ago, BaileyB said: Is it socially acceptable for them to cheat on their husband?Ā Obviously itās not bro, obviouslyā¦.. they really donāt have a lot of choicesā¦..Ā their parents set a marriage up for them and they should stick to their marriage until their husband dumps them or dies
BaileyB Posted April 18 Posted April 18 12 minutes ago, Mbas said: their parents set a marriage up for them and they should stick to their marriage until their husband dumps them or dies A terrible situation, clearly. Becoming involved in an inappropriate relationship with a family member is not going to help the situation. If itās discovered, it could put her at great risk.Ā
smackie9 Posted April 18 Posted April 18 Clearly she was fishing for a complement/reassurance...like "Oh no you are not...in my eyes you are beautiful and youthful for your age, you are so perfect for me!" But instead it went right over your head....smooth move Ex-lax.
Author Mbas Posted April 19 Author Posted April 19 10 hours ago, smackie9 said: Clearly she was fishing for a complement/reassurance...like "Oh no you are not...in my eyes you are beautiful and youthful for your age, you are so perfect for me!" But instead it went right over your head....smooth move Ex-lax. So you think she wasnāt rejecting me or something? I mean she is a really nice person, and you know if I want to reject someone respectfully I would do it like thatā¦.
smackie9 Posted April 19 Posted April 19 7 hours ago, Mbas said: So you think she wasnāt rejecting me or something? I mean she is a really nice person, and you know if I want to reject someone respectfully I would do it like thatā¦. If that's your take on it than that's what it is.
Author Mbas Posted April 19 Author Posted April 19 5 hours ago, smackie9 said: If that's your take on it than that's what it is. I mean she literally said it out of nowhere, unrelated discussion, just said itā¦. What do you think it is?
Gaeta Posted April 19 Posted April 19 On 4/18/2025 at 1:51 PM, Mbas said: Yeah about thatā¦. Itās not how it works in my country, women canāt really do thatĀ If you live in one of those countries then you are putting her in danger. Can you imagine what could happen to her if her husband discovers that the 2 of you are secretely communicating?? It's time you stop thinking about yourself, your needs, your wants, your need for attentionĀ andĀ start thinking of the consequences that would fall onĀ *Her* !Ā Cut contact, move on with your life and go find a woman that is free.Ā 1
ExpatInItaly Posted April 20 Posted April 20 How do you suppse this drunk narcissist is going to react when he finds out you've been cozying up to his wife? Be smarter than that, man.Ā 1
smackie9 Posted April 20 Posted April 20 I agree with the others, you are putting her in danger. Stop thinking about your desire for once, and think about the repercussions. Lives will be ruined.
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