Please help me, i'm kind of new at this.

[dj]

Well, this is my first time posting on this page. But I'm excited to try and help you with your situations too. Right now, though, I'm in quite a situation myself.

 

I'm really interested in this girl but she is just coming off of a messy break up and is still looking for some closure too. I don't want to rush anything because I don't want to mess anything up. I really like this girl.

 

My friends bring up the warning of "you don't want to be the rebound man". I don't, but is that just a term without a real bass, or is it something to be concerned about?

 

Do woman respond the same way concerning the whole rebound situation. Meaning, if it is a fact full phenomenon do women handle the situations differently, do they all need one?

[Miss Mojo]

hi dj,

 

no. not all women need a rebound relationship. but those who do get involved with a person after a messy break-up, probably are on the rebound. i know many girls who have had rebound relationships, and they have all not worked out.

 

it's not healthy to go from one relationship to the next without time in between to heal from the last relationship (especially if it was messy). rebound relationships very rarely work out because of all the excess baggage being carried from the last relationship. just think....if you had a relationship end badly and were to start seeing someone else straight away, you'd probably be doing it to get over your recent ex. you'd probably be thinking a lot about your ex with this new person. that's a recipe for disaster.

 

i think your friends are right. don't go there just yet. keep your distance from this girl, but be there as a friend if you feel you can handle it. if you ever want the possibility of dating this girl, then give her time to herself for a while. you have a much better chance of success when she has no baggage, insecurities or other issues in the way.

 

best wishes