Author jen_jen_heartbroken Posted January 12, 2006 Author Share Posted January 12, 2006 He finally called. He said he's going to be home in a couple of hours and will get my meds for me then. But when I asked him if he didn't call because he was mad at me or something, he said he was at work and isn't going to "go there" right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 Good, I'm SO glad he's getting your meds at least. And don't expect him to "go there" later either. He never wants to go there because "there" takes him to a place that will reveal his selfishness. There's NO excuse as some have said...NONE for not contacting you and not being there for you when you're sick. He's probably going to come up with some lame excuse. Like I said, I'd take the medicines from him, thank him and show him to the door. And then I'd ignore HIM like he did YOU. Link to post Share on other sites
kitkat826 Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 He finally called. He said he's going to be home in a couple of hours and will get my meds for me then. But when I asked him if he didn't call because he was mad at me or something, he said he was at work and isn't going to "go there" right now. Wait, HE'S the one who has been AWOL for four days while you've been really sick, and YOU are asking if you've done anything wrong?? His being distance has made you doubtful of yourself, which is very much in his favor, considering he KNOWS hes acting shady. I have a feeling that when you do see him and talk to him later he'll try to turn it around on you somehow again. Shady, low-down behavior. It's what people do when they know they are the guilty ones. I would be very, very suspicious of him if I were you. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 Wait, HE'S the one who has been AWOL for four days while you've been really sick, and YOU are asking if you've done anything wrong?? His being distance has made you doubtful of yourself, which is very much in his favor, considering he KNOWS hes acting shady. I have a feeling that when you do see him and talk to him later he'll try to turn it around on you somehow again. Shady, low-down behavior. It's what people do when they know they are the guilty ones. I would be very, very suspicious of him if I were you. Kat, you took the words right out of my mouth! I was going to go back and edit wondering why Jen is asking HIM if she did anything wrong...that kind of gives him a little power there. Yes, I completely agree that he's going to somehow turn his bad behavior around and somehow blame you for it. No, you've GOT to make it clear that you will not be treated like this. Unfortunately, the only way to do it is to end it with him...but like my mom always said "Do you want to be a goddess or a doormat?" Act like the goddess that you are Jen. Not the doormat to this jerk. Link to post Share on other sites
kitkat826 Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 Kat' date=' you took the words right out of my mouth! I was going to go back and edit wondering why Jen is asking HIM if she did anything wrong...that kind of gives him a little power there. Yes, I completely agree that he's going to somehow turn his bad behavior around and somehow blame you for it.[/quote'] The easiest way to have control over someone is to make them doubtful of themselves, leading to an erosion of their self-esteem and identity. This ranges from minor situations like the one mentioned in this post to violent, physical abuse. It's manifested differently, but it's the same mechanism and power relationship. And even the minor incidences (even if they don't escalate, though most of the time they do), over time, add up to a very unhappy person and unhealthy relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
l2hvn Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 this reminds me of my exbf so much it pisses me off. he couldn't be there for me when i needed him the most. i was depressed and found out my dad had cancer (and that got me into a deeper depression)... he wasn't there for me at all... not even a shoulder to cry on... he acted like it wasn't his problem. and he slowly disappeared on me. i called him at work asking why he's acting the way he is, and all he said was "i don't want to talk about this right now, i'm at work." so my advice, as well as everyone else's, is to break up with this jerk. i was glad i did. i walked away from him and never looked back.... although it took a lot of courage from me to do it. you have given him so much power into this relationship. you did nothing wrong to be treated that way. i'm sorry you are hurting, physically and emotionally. i really hope you feel better soon. and i really do hope you can be strong enough to walk away from him... no guy should ever, ever, treat you like that. ever! Link to post Share on other sites
Pendawn Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 First off all, hugs and feel better soon. I've had viral pneumonia and ti was not at all fun....for several weeks. When you say he lives next door, do you mean LITERALLY like in the next building/same street as you? If so, IMO that puts a whole new spin on the problems you've been having with him. I mean if he lives way across town and works long hours I'd not be too surprised to not see/hear from him too often during the week. But if he lives next door...dear GOD, even if I wasn't sick I'd expect him to drop in for a coffee or just to say hi somedays before he goes to bed or in the morning etc. I only see my guy twice a week, but when I was sick he sent me texts to see how I was and still came over, just to sit with me and get me anything if I needed it. I was all apologetic for being gross and sick and he said "Modern romance is holding her hair back while she throws up". I wouldn't expect every guy to play nurse maid cos yes some people freak out at illness (ie. me) but the least he could do is keep in contact just to check you're doing okay. Link to post Share on other sites
JayKay Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 Jen That sucks. If someone can't care for you when you're sick and they live right freaking next door then obviously the relationship is not high on their list of priorities. I wouldn't text him or email him or ANYTHING anymore. Take good care of yourself and get better. I know you're hurting but try hard not to stress yourself over this guy. He's not worth your energy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jen_jen_heartbroken Posted January 13, 2006 Author Share Posted January 13, 2006 Well, he came over after work to take my prescription to the pharmacy. He asked if I needed anything else and I said some cold pop would be good. He had a worried look on his face and was talking very sweetly to me. After he left I must have fallen asleep pretty soundly, because I never heard him come back. But when I awoke there was my medicine, tissues, cough drops, apple sauce, jello, coffee cake, orange juice and pop in the fridge. I thought that was very nice of him to get me all those things he thought I needed. I know this is a sign of something, but I'm not sure of what exactly. I hope he did this for me out of love and not just guilt. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Sure.. he brings all that after you sent emails and phone calls and threatened to break up with him.. Are you totally blind Jen Jen ?.. You think he did that out of niceness ? Gosh why can't I find a woman like you ? Link to post Share on other sites
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