My girlfriend is a whore?

[lindya]

Nice little analysis, the only problem is youre making your assessment from an ignorant point of view.

 

As opposed to what? Your enlightened perspective??

 

...guess what? I guarantee Im not the only one who feels that way, and I just dont mean on this forum.

 

Please don't be another one who clings to the fact that "other people think the same way as I do" - as if that's some sort of badge of honour for you. "Other people think so too" is about the weakest line of argument there is.

 

If you think sluttiness is outdated, sorry my friend, you are the one who is out of date

 

So sluttiness is the new black this season? Thanks for clarifying that.

 

Clearly if a woman is in a relationship with someone and still sleeping around, then either it's a very open relationship (and they don't usually work, as far as I can see) or she's cheating...in which case there's a big trust problem.

 

You, however, expressed a view that a woman (presumably any woman) who has had more than 5 sexual partners in a 9 month period is "gross" and a "slut". How would you describe a man in the same circumstances?

[cygny]

nice dodge

 

 

 

So, again Ill ask if you if you read the OP? Because, he said their numbers were close, so, no..he has not had a lot more sex than she has. and given it probably took him years to get up to the same number it took her months to get to? As of late, shes been the one having a lot more sex

 

numbers of partners were close but his was higher. and if any of his partners were more than ONS ie relationships then yes he has had lots more sex. she's had 9 isolated instances.

 

i dated a guy once who after several months confessed to me that while in college he had experimented with drugs and that had led to alot of indiscriminate sex as well. he was past it and he was never unfaithful to me. he's gone on to other relationships and he has always been trustworthy. was he a slut? was he a whore? should I have dropped him? mind you, i had only had one prior partner at the time. he was leagues beyond me in the sex partner stakes. does he punch your buttons like this girl does? if not, why not?

 

anybody can go on a sex binge. whether they are trustworthy has to do with other things.

[ehead]

After reading the other post by this authur that pretty red headed girl pointed out, I would have to agree that the OP is suffering from a bad case of "Retroactive Jealousy".

 

This is really quite common. I think the OP just has it worse than most, probably due to him having an idealistic or obsessive mind. I myself have suffered from this so know all about it.

 

The more you think about it the more it gnaws away at you.

 

Thinking about these things is like opening pandoras box. All sorts of issues can get dredged up, like the "meaning" of sex and love, ones sense of personal worth, is there such a thing as a "soul mate", what makes me any more special than anyone else, is love "real", are the feelings we have special or does everyone have them ? Is monogamy just an illusion, and is there any point in monogamy if sex isn't special ? Sexual and romantic relativism ensues ... possibly morphing into nihilism if the person having such thoughts is idealistic enough.

 

Relativism. Yuck. Blah.

 

My advice would be to back off on the questions that are causing you torture. There is probably some twisted side of you that wants to know. I can all too easily relate to that.

 

This is so common, to one degree or another, that virtually every single sex/relationship therapist will adamantly insist that couples DO NOT give precise details about past sexual encounters/relationships. Stay vague when discussing such things to ensure the health of your happiness and your feelings.

 

Though these feelings occur in woman and men, scientists think they are more pronounced in men due to an evolutionary pre-disposition for possessiveness and territorialness about their mates.

 

In short, this is biological dude ! Don't mess with biology ! Just stop thinking about it and don't ask any more stupid questions. On the same note ... don't beat yourself up for these feelings ... that certainly won't help anything. And of course ... don't blame her either.

[clandestinidad]

Again, a girl who searches for emotionally intimacy through ONS's? Would be cause for concern for said girls bf.

 

I might be mistaken, but I never read anything about the 9 guys she slept with being ONS. They easily could have been people she went on a couple dates with

[blind_otter]

So let me see. Take this same scenario, but instead of sex, lets replace it with drugs.

 

So, this girl was depressed, so she used drugs to take that away.

 

 

Is she a crackhead? or just someone desperate to feel something good, even for a brief time? Or, is she both?

 

Hopefully you see where im going with this

 

Nooooo, not really. No one can change the past. In your analysis, apparently, once a slut always a slut, right? If you've done it once, hell, it don't matter if you're a nun now! Slutty nun! :lmao:

 

No one is "just a crackhead", btw. There's always underlying reasons.

 

But everyone has a tolerance level. Some people are more forgiving of others. I am, because of my colored past. Some people aren't. I assume these people are still virgins.

[filarena]

Okay, I met my girlfriend on her 19th birthday. From the time she started college, until the time she met me, there was an 8 month span. In that 8 months, she claims to have slept with 9 guys. To me, that's a lot of damn guys in a 8 month period. She claims to have been depressed because she was so far away from home, and she wanted to fit in, etc etc.

 

Anyway, I've been with more people than her overall, not by much, but still more people, but I'm 4 years older than her!!!! I'm kind of hung up on this span of averaging more than one guy per month her first year in college.

 

Also, she tells me that this one guy was amazing in bed, but claims that "I am better". We've all heard the "your the best" line, but I don't believe it. I hold my own, but I make no claims to being a super-stud in the sack.

 

These two aspects of not being the best, and her very slutty past really bother me. We've been together for 7+ months.

 

Any advice?

 

Met my girlfriend when she was 19. There was a 4 month span when she first got to college where she slept with, on average, a different guy every week. Her number is a lot more than 9. I was a virgin when I met her.

 

I don't give a sh*t about her numbers or her past. And frankly, I have no complaints that she's got a very healthy sexual appetite with me.