I need some advice on this situation

[Valish]

Okay, here it is. I have just started going out with this guy, he seems really sweet, everything seems perfect. However, I have a friend who knows him because her boyfriend used to play in the same band with him. When I told her that I was seeing him, she told me that he does crack. She insists on it. So I confronted him on this and he swears he has never touched it, only a friend of his has experimented with it. Now this friend isn't the most trustworthy person in the world. She has told me stories before that sound bogus, and she has tried to talk me out of relationships in the past. I don't know who to believe. He seems fine when he is with me. But I get scared every time he goes to bathroom or something. And then I start to focus on his every move and get suspicious of stupid little things that I would never have if she didn't tell me that. I really like this guy, I want things to work out between us. Does anyone have any advice? Maybe someone knows some signs of a crack addiction. All help is greatly appriciated.

 

Thanx again,

 

Valish

[Daisy]

This is a tough one. You don't know which one is telling the truth, because you haven't known him very long so you don't know yet if you can trust him and your friend has made up bogus stories before. My best advice would be just to keep an eye on him. I wouldn't dump him right away just because your friend's telling you this or that. Give him a chance. I've had jealous friends make up stories before as well...(and on that note, they're not your friends and you should keep them at a distance as well).

 

If you never catch him with any of it and he always is perfectly normal, then chances are he's telling you the truth. Just keep your eyes open for anything unusual...like unusual behavior patterns, or money just disappears. If anything doesn't seem right, just get out! Simple as that.

 

Good luck

Okay, here it is. I have just started going out with this guy, he seems really sweet, everything seems perfect. However, I have a friend who knows him because her boyfriend used to play in the same band with him. When I told her that I was seeing him, she told me that he does crack. She insists on it. So I confronted him on this and he swears he has never touched it, only a friend of his has experimented with it. Now this friend isn't the most trustworthy person in the world. She has told me stories before that sound bogus, and she has tried to talk me out of relationships in the past. I don't know who to believe. He seems fine when he is with me. But I get scared every time he goes to bathroom or something. And then I start to focus on his every move and get suspicious of stupid little things that I would never have if she didn't tell me that. I really like this guy, I want things to work out between us. Does anyone have any advice? Maybe someone knows some signs of a crack addiction. All help is greatly appriciated. Thanx again, Valish

[Owl]

Crack use is not something he could conceal from you very easily -- if he was using it, I think you would know. I have a friend who works at an addiction center, and "really sweet" isn't a term often applied to your typical crack addict. They're all pretty "out of it" except when the craving catches up with them/

 

Crack is a derivative of cocaine that gives a more intense "high" with a shorter duration. It also induces pretty terrifying lows after the high wears off -- more so than other drugs with the possible exception of heroine. Finally it creates a strong physical addiction after a few uses -- I won't bore you with the biology of neurotransmitters, endorphin receptors etc., but suffice it to say an addict's body soon becomes unable to function properly without crack. In this respect, crack has few equals. It's great stuff!

 

If your boyfriend used crack when he went into the bathroom, as part of you can't help but wonder, he would come out with bloodshot eyes, probably a s***-eating grin on his face, and would find it impossible to think clearly or concentrate on much of anything. He'd have trouble paying attention, wouldn't be able to read a menu set in front of him because his mind would wander, and so forth. That would last for maybe ten minutes. Fifteen or twenty minutes after he came out of the bathroom he'd be curled into a little ball blubbering for no apparent reason when the low caught up with him. Does your boyfriend behave like this? No? Then he's not whipping out his crack-pipe every time he gets up to pee. Hooray!

 

It's entirely possible he experimented with crack once upon a time for a very brief period and simply never used it again, but otherwise I think your friend is misleading you, or has been misled herself. I've heard of casual users of cocaine, angel dust, etc., but NEVER a casual crack or heroine user. Willpower has little or nothing to do with it -- the physical addiction is simply kicks in before most soon-to-be-addicts are aware of it.

 

Hope that helps.

Okay, here it is. I have just started going out with this guy, he seems really sweet, everything seems perfect. However, I have a friend who knows him because her boyfriend used to play in the same band with him. When I told her that I was seeing him, she told me that he does crack. She insists on it. So I confronted him on this and he swears he has never touched it, only a friend of his has experimented with it. Now this friend isn't the most trustworthy person in the world. She has told me stories before that sound bogus, and she has tried to talk me out of relationships in the past. I don't know who to believe. He seems fine when he is with me. But I get scared every time he goes to bathroom or something. And then I start to focus on his every move and get suspicious of stupid little things that I would never have if she didn't tell me that. I really like this guy, I want things to work out between us. Does anyone have any advice? Maybe someone knows some signs of a crack addiction. All help is greatly appriciated. Thanx again, Valish