lovestruck still

[lovestruck fellah]

OK, to start let me say ive been going absolutely insane for 1 yr. Im 26, my ex is 22. When we 1st met, we hit it off immediatley. We both had a child previously. and they are around the same age. We eventually moved in together. Things were great. Even though we both had an "ex" to deal w/ occasionally due to the children involved, We worked through it. her dghtrs "actual" father didnt see her much. So i was more or less her dad throughout our relationship. we made plans for "our" future all the time, but as far as feelings go, she was a little more withdrawn than myself. just stubborn, and i knew that when we met...no biggie, cuz i seen it in her eyes I professed myself a lil more you could say.....any freakin way....2 yrs of what seems to be an awesome relationship with a girl i honestly loved completely (and still do) flipped upside down. and i dont know why. for reasons that were acceptable for both of us, at the end of this relationship more or less..we had seperate apartments, but still made plans, marriage/ new house... still seen each other as much as ever..one day i return from work to find a new email from her...nothing new i thought..she pretty much ended it right there...BY EMAIL!!!...it included her saying it "was her, not me"...blah blah blah....regardless, i havnt seen her since, only IM conversation, it was hardly what i expected outta the blue, by email no less. and a short explanation why at that.....now you have the history, its obvious i still love this girl and im here for a lil advice...

 

bECAUSE!!????.....she still contacts me occasionally. She knows very well i adore her and her dghtr, and she knows what my intentions always were, and still are. I get an IM sometimes. every 2-3 weeks or so...how are you? HI !...we have idle chit chat awhile and always it turns to me hinting around about things relationshipwise etc etc...(because i want her back of course)..sometimes she gives me a lame excuse why we cant be together, sometimes she changes the subject completely..But she always is very broad about "us"...and always makes damn sure i know how her life is going now. Financially, with school, how her family is, new car etc....and she sends me pictures of her dghtr etc..she broke MY heart, left me, wasnt even adult about it..i ask why she messages me. its always "ehhhh bored", or just saying hi, or seein how things were"...but always makes it a point to tell me shes not talkin to me to get back together, drag me along. b/c yes, she knows what im thinking, and what i desperatley want......her!..so any advice about her possible intentions would be greatly appreciated?????..because im not getting it outta her...is she just ****in w/ me?...curious?...wants me back?...wants to have a backup?...she left me, and knows that ive been a wreck.. shouldnt our roles be reversed a lil bit....i dunno please help

[Jey Dey Dey]

We all have this problem. Our exes broke up with us, we want them back. We have all made the mistake of pleading, crying, begging, proclaiming our feelings. All this makes the the ex go far far away. Either she is thinking about you and what it could have been but isn't ready to come back so she IM to see what your status is. Once she sees she still has you she goes back to her happy lil world. Her world will always be great because she will always painted great... probably isn't so great.

 

Don't talk to her anymore. Not even IM. Just ignore her completely. The person less interested in maintaining a relationship will always hold back and not compromise thus holding control of the relationship. Don't contact her ever, let her call you and when she does be aloof, tell her your dating. If she wants you she has to be the one to say it. Don't talk about your feelings or wanting her back. People want what they can't have specially when they love them.