riobikini Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 I recently posted this to someone else here in LS....hope it is useful to anyone with the same issues. Toronto, In a card my ex gave me once, it read: "The remedy for love is more love" I wrote this quote in another post here on LS recently. I find it acutely ironic that he was the one who gave me the card. The jest of the quote is saying that the way to heal a broken heart is by bathing it (you) in a sea of love, -not a tub, -and as much as you can get. I believe it means that you , first, include love for yourself, love OF those around you, and love FROM those around you. The most important is love for yourself. I agree that finding someone immediately to begin a serious relationship with, is in most cases, an indication you may be only running from the hurt and the issues you need to deal with, and can be dangerous because it may become a pattern of dysfunction you begin use to with your future broken relationships, never really learning much about yourself, and growing 'inward', not 'outward'. But I do believe that there is a time during your recovery to courageously, and sometimes, even violently, force ourselves to break free from feeling alone, sad, and alienated from the physical, sexual, and emotional need we humans have in wanting to feel warmth and and the touch of another and make a choice to be with someone. In a healthy recovery it is a triumphant feeling. The act has nothing to do with being in love with someone else, -it has everything to do with loving yourself enough to 'take back' your life and live it. It gets you back 'out there' in social contact and re-orients you to the 'living' world. It is not meant to be a 'replacement' for the love you lost...it is simply a technique of strong will to move on. I realize the subject of seeing an ex with a new partner has troubled many during break-ups, -especially in seeing those who seem to have wasted no time in finding a new partner, but keep in mind that there are many reasons why certain people move at different speeds: the value they placed on the relationship, their personal background schemata, and perhaps, dysfunction in dealing with their pain. Yet, unless you are catering to an already-formed dysfunctional pattern in denying yourself time to face the reality of your break-up issues, moving on with the help of a new companion (or companions) is quite normal and 'expected' behavior in moving through the process of recovery. I hope this has helped someone. (Smile) Take Care. -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
Author riobikini Posted January 14, 2006 Author Share Posted January 14, 2006 P.S. There are over six BILLION people on the earth....over half of those are women. The way I see it, men may have a better shot at finding someone else sooner, judging only from a statistical angle, -but given the density of the human population, and our willingness as human beings to seek out companionship, it seems everyone's chances of finding another 'Someone' to love is pretty damn good. (Smile) -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 Good post Rio. Dealing with it now, feeling shaky and off balance. Link to post Share on other sites
heartnsoul Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 I second witabix. Good post Link to post Share on other sites
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