To Tony, Can I ask you a question?

[confused girl]

You told someone," never ask how many sex partner/relationship one has".

 

My question is How is asking about a bf/gf's past relationships classless or inappropriate? how do you learn about them?

 

Since If 2 people are in a casual relationship then talking about pasts and experiences is no big deal.If one is in a serious relationship then it's natural to want to know all about your partner's life before they met you,all the things,people and experiences that made them the person you fell in love with.Thus, if two people are in love, honest and trust are everything.

 

Can you please help me out??

[Tony T]

1. "How is asking about a bf/gf's past relationships classless or inappropriate?"

 

A person's sexual past, like some other aspects of their history, is personal and nobody's business. Additionally, revealing this can often destroy a relationship. Unless a person has some sort of transmittable disease as a result of a past sexual experience, who and when they've screwed is strictly out of bounds.

 

It is classless and inappropriate to ask for the simple reason that it is a person's personal business and NONE of anybody else's business. Because you are dating, engaged or married to somebody does not give you the key to unlock every aspect of that person's history. This information, unless disease is involved, has no relevance to today.

 

A person is an absolute and total fool to reveal a past, particularly if it's extensive because most people, especially many men, simply can't handle the information in a mature way.

 

Asking about a person's sexual past is no different than asking about their history of bowel movements, urinations, flatulence (passing gas), etc. The relevance to the presence is equally the same...NONE.

 

2. "how do you learn about them?"

 

DUH!!! Tell me one good reason why the relationship would be a BETTER ONE, you would be a better person, and the world would be a better place if you knew your partner's sexual past.

 

If you have that kind of curiosity, you are sick. And, yes, there are tons of really sick people out there and that's why love is so damned hard to execute in the world today...because of sick people with sick curiosity about things that are none of their business.

 

Frankly, I think an overwhelming curiosity about someone's sexual past is borderline insane and anyone who gives up that information is crazy too.

 

Most men just can't handle it if a women has had extensive sexual experience because most men are immature idiots in this regard and their egos are just too swelled to remotely think that any other man is capable of having stuck his penis in their woman.

 

YOU WRITE: "Since If 2 people are in a casual relationship then talking about pasts and experiences is no big deal."

 

Unless you're some hillbilly with no social graces whatsoever or you were brought up in a barn, it is a very big deal to be talking about a person's sexual past. It's also a big deal to talk about how much money one makes or has in the bank.

 

There are certain things that are just nobody else's business. If a girl starts asking me about women I've been with, whether I'm in a casual relationship or whatever, I will immediately let her know she's out of bounds. Human beings, decent...sane ones anyway, have to set up boundaries beyond which others may not step. Now, if you want to ask...and they want to answer...and you live in some little county hick town where incest and ignorance abounds, I guess you can get away with it.

 

If a person wants to be classless and ignorant, they can continue asking inappropriate questions of their casual friend in between belching and farting and chewing their tobacco.

 

YOU ALSO WRITE: "If one is in a serious relationship then it's natural to want to know all about your partner's life before they met you,all the things,people and experiences that made them the person you fell in love with.Thus, if two people are in love, honest and trust are everything."

 

I promise you, people they've screwed didn't make them who they are, no more than their bowel movements, and who they've shaken hands with. What has made them who they are are their social, not sexual, interactions with people of their past, their education, and MOST OF ALL, their family of origin.

 

If to people are in love, honest and trust is everything, asking details about people they've screwed and give or received blow jobs from has no relevance unless a disease was acquired.

 

Just tell me how this can help a relationship??? Because I can sure give you dozens of prime examples from this forum on how this information has totally desroyed relationships beyond repair.

 

People who want to know other people's sexual past have a sick and morbid curiosity about the obviously irrelevant.

[Julia]

I agree with you Tony

 

For the first time in my life, I am glad I have no details about the guy I am seeing, about his past life with relationships....

 

I have no curiosity about this, and he has gave me the same respect and hasnt asked about me....

 

for the first time, i feel comfortable about just being me.....I no longer have to do things that the other girlfriends didnt do.....

 

My friend is like you, and said to me "Before I met "so so's name" I asked him about all this, and he asked about me..I can't deal with not knowing"

 

Im so glad I dont need that!

 

Thanks for your information Tony

 

It made me realise I was right!