I have good news & Bad News..

[Worried7]

I have good news & bad news; The good news being I now have a reason to cry during my scene in the spring play coming up..the bad news? My boyfriend of 2 and a half years had sex with another girl TWICE during the beginning of our relationship when we weren't very strong & just now told me last night b/c he didn't want to hurt me & finally had to come clean. He didn't have feelings for the girl, they were just a little fling but It still upsets me.He also said that it only lasted on & off for like 3 weeks. He said that he'd never ever EVER do that to me again, he was just a dumb 18 year old who wasn't thinking & he started crying and saying that he is so sorry and he loves me and he's sorry he didn't confess earlier( and that he didn't confess b/c once he did realize how much he loved me he didn't want to hurt me).We're still going to stay together but can someone plz tell me how to get over this because this hurts.

 

And I'd appreciate it if anyone can comment on here saying if they can relate & how they dealt with it.

 

P.S. You may remember me telling u guys a few months ago about how I suspected something went on b/c i found her blog site? Well that was her and something did. its wierd how much gut instinct is right.

[sparticuss]

It's cliched but I'll start with my magic three questions.

 

1/ Has he ever beaten you up badly enought for you to need a hospital.

2/ Has he ever committed a crime that will have him jailed for ten years or more.

3/ Has he ever had sex with you, or anybody else, and not told them he was passing on a VD?

 

No????

 

Then stop bickerign about a pretty good quality bf who only once did something stuipid when he was young and stupid.

Youv'e actually got yourself a pretty good one there if thats the worst he's ever done.

And this is a problem that you, and you alone, have to sort out. Society, and girlfriends have conditioned you to only see the worst in even the best men. So you are only ever goign to talk about the worst in him. That means that you are never going to show any appreciation for the best in him.

This lack of apprreciation for his best. This lack of respect for a good man. This a sur e fire way to lose him. That is when you will really end up with a dud. That is when your grizzling with end up giving you something to grizzile about.

Lean to appreciate and to show your apreciation of his best or you wil end up with only the worst. You are still young enough to have a chance.

[bewilderment]

To the OP: why did he tell you about it two and a half years later, out of the blue?

 

To sparticuss...okay, look, my magic question is: would you say the exact same thing if the cheater was a girl? i.e., that the boyfriend should stop bickering about how his girlfriend cheated on him early in the relationship, and instead appreciate that she's a good woman, she just did something when she was young and stupid - and if he doesn't show appreciation for her best he'll lose her and end up with a dud?

 

Because if so, then that's a pretty tolerant way to look at things, I'm surprised and impressed.

[Worried7]

We were just talking and I said, so what happened to that friend of yours I never hear anything about her anymore? And he said oh we just quit talking and I said oh and then he siad he had to get off & he'd call back the next day...then he called back 3 seconds later and confessed. Which I'm very relieved, I've got a great guy. ( and I know I do Sparticuss, that's why I'm staying with him.) It just hurts quite a bit b/c sex was involved.Sex is a big deal to me. And it was only the day before yesterday that he told me, so does that not give me the right to need to grieve for a while finding out that he was cheating on me for a month? Keep commenting.

 

 

Worried 7