Magi-Raistlin Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 My buddy James and I made plans to go and hang out the other night before he moves back north (we just graduated from college). Before I got off from work I decided to text a mutual female friend, Tiffany, of ours and get her to come out with us. I had a thing for her a few months back, but decided that she seemed content with her boyfriend whom she had been dating for the past several years. Therefore, I decided to just stay in the friend zone and not overstep my boundries. She agreed to meet us there, and brought one of her male friends with her. Shortly after we arrived at the bar they ended up getting in a fight in which he continued to insult her and said some very ugly things to her. I tried to play mediator; however, he didn't respond very kindly to that since apparantly he's convinced that Tiffany and I have been "Fing" for months now. He eventually left thankfully. Tiffany was quite upset, so I invited her to come back to my apartment with James and I. We continued to drink till the wee hours of the morning. It was then that we ended up making out (she leaned in first). After a pleasant evening...we woke up to no awkwardness and talked and laughed for about an hour. Things were good. She ended up calling me late the next night, and I asked her, what we were going to do, if anything. She explained that she had a lot of thinking to do...I told her that I understood b/c it took me a lot of thought and contemplation before I was sure that I wanted to leave my fiancee whom I had been with for 5 years. We ended up meeting at the bar last night and hung out with some friends. She ended up coming back to my apartment where we proceeded to make out some more and then we talked for a while. She told me that she didn't want me falling for her too fast and too hard. That she has hurt too many friends that way. She asked me why I left my ex fiancee, and said that she didn't know what to do. I explained that my ex and I had the illusion of happiness; however, I was unwilling to merely be satisfied with that illusion. That I would rather be single for the next 10 or 15 years while I searched for a partner that could supply me with more than an illusion of happiness. That she had to ask herself did she want to settle for that illusion, or did she want to take a chance and try to find true happiness. She called me a romantic, and stated that that is why we could never be...because we see the world, and love in two different lights. Today I got a text message from her stating that we need to stop, and that we are too good of friends, and that she didn't want to hurt me. I called her, and explained that I just wanted to take things real chill like, and that I was cool with taking things slow, but I was still interested in pursuing a relationship with her. She replied that she just had too much on her plate right now, and that she didn't have room for me on it, and asked what I thought about that. I responded that if that's what she wanted then I would respect her wishes, and that we would remain merely friends. I don't really understand why she made the move for me and now has chosen to back away. It's true that I had a thing for her for many months; however, I had already given up on us being together about two months ago. I asked her while we were intimate if she had thought about this happening. She responded yes. That it's been something that she's thought about for about a month or so now. So, it's not like the alcohol just made her do something stupid that she hadnt thought about previously. We traded a few text messages later this past evening, and one of them read, "The past two times we hung out were great. Thank you for the memories and kisses." Personally I think that even though she's not trully happy in her current relationship, she's comfortable, and scared to take a chance with me. Any advice or thoughts as to what I should do if anything would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
JayKay Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 I'm not sure what to make of her behavior but she sounds confused. It's pretty interesting that she has a boyfriend, but still feels it's OK to make out with someone else on the side. She says she doesn't want to 'hurt' anyone but she's already sh** on her present relationship. How would her boyfriend feel if he found out about her behavior? She doesn't sound ready for a relationship, of any kind. Link to post Share on other sites
barfool Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Hmmm, interesting. It sounds like these thoughts if being romantically involved with you were nothing new and she just took action with the help of alcohol and being pissed at her guy. I'm not saying she didn't want to in the first place, but she probably would not of done anything if not for those particular circumstances. It is obvious that she values your friendship. Unfortunately I do agree with JayKay. This girl is not ready for a relationship and is not strong enough to get out of a bad one and take any risk of getting a better one or being alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Magi-Raistlin Posted January 16, 2006 Author Share Posted January 16, 2006 Her boyfriend would be none to happy if he found out. I almost feel that it might take something such as an engagement to really open her eyes and make her reflect on her relationship and where she's going just as I did. Link to post Share on other sites
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Sorry, but it doesn't sound like she likes you in the same way that you like her. She made out with you because she was angry at her BF and you sort of "saved" her. I think that you should forget about being romantic with her if you want to continue having her as a friend. She considers you as a friend and nothing more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Magi-Raistlin Posted January 17, 2006 Author Share Posted January 17, 2006 No. Perhaps I was unclear. That guy that she was angry with was just a friend. Not her boyfriend, and he was angry because he has been in love with her for the past year or so... Link to post Share on other sites
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