I need to say what happened to me:

[crazy_grl]

I disagree. I think this has everything to do with recovery, I'm just agreeing with you for the forum's sake.

 

I still think you're still missing what I've been saying. I don't know whether I'm not being clear or whether there's something keeping you from getting my meaning. I do not dispute that God and faith can be great inspiration and helpful in healing BUT to really heal, you need more than that.

 

I think, I know rather, that the only happy time in my life was when I was doing it for someone else, something else, and that thing happens to be God for me.

 

I believe a much better person to do it for is yourself, because while I have never met you and have not spoken to you much, I get the impression from what little I've seen of you that you're worth it.

 

I really don't want to get into suffering, because I would not like to think about the bruise on my leg the size of a baseball. And that is why I redirect my concern on other people, maybe to avoid pain, maybe that's disfunctional.

 

But I can sit all night and look at the nasty bruise on my leg, or on my behind, or the broken right rib that pains me through my pregnancy, but I don't.

 

If I'm reading what you're saying right, you're still in an abusive situation. If that's so, I think it's very noble and good of you to want to help others such as Mark, but please please please make helping yourself by getting out of that situation your top priority (if you have not). Earlier you said "And I will VEHEMENTLY reject abuse of any kind, and will not tolerate those who allow it. I don't think God would either." Please reject your own (and your unborn child's) and do not allow it.

 

What I've been saying applies to you too. It's wonderful that you take comfort in the Bible, but you really ought to get some-abuse specific help, because the Bible doesn't teach about the nature of abuse, why people allow themselves to stay in it or go back to it, the after effects, etc, and that's what you need to know.

 

I know I suffer, but I don't care about mine.

 

I care about yours. I bet others do, and I think you should too. No one should have to suffer like that.

 

But they show more empathy than you, even though they don't have the tools emotionally. I see them, and their intent.

 

Now I'm quite sure you've been reading a lot into what I've been saying. I've only been debating a point with you, and trying to explain that I don't disagree with you so much as it seems to me that you think I am. And I've continued debating it mostly to get the point across to Mark and any other survivors (such as yourself) who read this thread that healing cannot be accomplished with religion alone. And if a survivor is going to take the time to read a book to deal with this type of thing, I believe an abuse recovery book would be most helpful, because of what it teaches, and it reduces the possibility that the survivor might immerse themself in religion to actually avoid the very painful issue they're facing.

 

Also you have no basis on which to judge my ability to empathize. You seem like a decent person, so I'll chalk it up to a misunderstanding this time, but please don't make judgements like that about me in the future.

 

Do I sound like a wandering idiot?

 

You sound like a person in need of help, which is nothing to be ashamed of. Happiness should come from the inside and from a love of yourself. Love of others (including God) is best when it comes from the abundance of love you have inside to give, not from what you need to take from them.