b52srock Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 OK, so the divorce has been final for just over 6 months. Friends told me I need to start looking at dating again, and while I wasn't overly thrilled with the prospect, I logged into an adult site and started looking around within a local radius. One guy sent me a note asking if we'd ever met (we hadn't), and we started IMing each other for a few days. As it turned out, we knew a lot of the same people, have children the same age, several things that could have possibly made this worth pursuing. So...two things....one, he asked for a picture (I hadn't posted one since my divorce was rather public and I just didn't want the hassle, you know?), so I sent one. Second, I checked with one of our mutual friends (his former boss) about him. In this day and age I figured better to be safe than sorry, right? Well, his old boss mentioned that I'd asked about him, and I think it pissed him off! He's stopped IMing me and emailing. So, have I blown it? I'm new to this dating scene after 20 years! Help! Link to post Share on other sites
Lucasarts Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 hmm ok here are my two points: #1.) did the guy stop iming you after you sent the pic? if he did then he obviously didnt find you attractive enough in his tastes to pursue you further. #2.) yes you did sort of blow it when you asked your mutual friend about him. That shows a sort of distrust that you have of this guy, i know what you meant by being safe then sorry, but its more like your being sorry for being safe here. Also you never really met the guy, so why are you trying to get a background check on him? if you really want to know things about him, i would strongly advise referring to his peers and friends for info. Who better then himself to tell you more about himself? In my opinion, i think you simply pissed him off that is all. If you make an effort to apologize or acknowledge your intentions/reasoning behind your actions i am sure he will be more understanding. But also, if question #1 was answered as a yes, then i think he wanted to see if your physical appearance was worth it and realized to him it wasnt. Pursue him if it was really point #2 that seems to fit your situation. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 You gotta have pretty thick skin to try online dating. I tried it for awhile, but lost total interest. A couple guys I met online seemed ok...then, when we met things were extremely awkward. Also, try not to develop feelings for a guy before you meet him in person. If you are dating online...background checks are a must!! Maybe this guy had something to hide. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 If he liked you he would not have got mad that you asked his former boss about him - Most men would realise that women have to feel safe. If he just stopped contact with you I would say he has other issues that you have no control of. Forget him and count yourself lucky that you found out how flakey he is before you met him. Another point ... Forget about online dating, get to know a guy in person! Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 Did you let his old boss know that you met him online? That may have embarrassed him. Just a thought. Link to post Share on other sites
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