brunohill245 Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 I met a hot girl on Ney Years eve this year, I asked for her number and arranged a date the next day for the following week. The first date went very well and I was receiving all the right signals, she even initiated a move to extend the date for a longer period of time and it ended in a kiss. After this first date I rang her the next day to thank her and arrange a second date for the next weekend, we also spoke on the phone about 3-4 times during the preceding week. However two hours before the 2nd date she sent me an SMS canceling the date saying she had a “very bad stomach ache”, however she did ask to re-arrange the date for another time and did apologies sincerely. Although I felt angry and disappointed I sent her a pleasant SMS back saying I was sorry that she was sick and hoped she would get better soon (without re-arranging anything). I am wondering why she cancelled the second date and if it had anything to do with the amount of times I spoke to her on the phone (3-4 times) between the first and second date cancellation? On the other hand she could have been sick but from previous experience I always find that when people drop out of dates it’s usually an excuse. Anyways, she cancelled on Saturday and I now plan to re-arrange the 2nd date tomorrow (Wednesday). (I haven’t phoned/SMS/texted her or received anything from her since she cancelled) I was wondering if you think I came on too strong initially which was the cause for her cancellation. I am curious to know what members think and how they would play it?? Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 I am curious to know what members think and how they would play it?? I wouldn't overanalyse this. She could be blowing you off, she could be really sick. You'll find out soon enough which it is. In the meantime, get on with your life, have fun doing other stuff, remain available to other girls. Dwelling on this will only drain you emotionally. And the attitude will come across in your interactions with her, giving you a hint of the sad and desperate. Once you've got the relaxed, playful, fun attitude in place give her a call. Proceed on the working assumption that she is sick and needs sympathy - if she really is sick this is obviously the right and kind thing to do, if she is not it will guilt her out. Try in a businesslike way to arrange another date. If she won't bite, ask her if this time her leg is going to fall off. And find other ways of teasing her *playfully*. Then tell her not to be silly and say she doesn't need to make silly excuses with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brunohill245 Posted January 17, 2006 Author Share Posted January 17, 2006 I sent her an SMS tonight, no answer 2 hours later i called her, no answer. Thats it for this chick, i'm not being messed around with any longer, time to find some new material. I do not intend to be dragged into any hard to get mind games. Link to post Share on other sites
gfto Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 She cancelled the date because she has low interest in you. Forget about her. You lowered her interest by being too eager. When you get a phone number, don't call the next day. And yes, the phone conversations lowered her interest. It's anti-challenge. In the early stages of dating, the phone is strictly for making dates. Other than that, stay off the phone. Save the conversation for the date. I'm not proud of it, but I must admit that I've used the stomach ache excuse myself! It's a classic brush off line. Don't send her anymore SMSs or call her again. Link to post Share on other sites
travellingman Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 I do not intend to be dragged into any hard to get mind games. Unfortunately, there usually are a lot of games at the beginning of many worthwhile relationships. I wouldn't call/text/e-mail so much next time you meet someone. Good to wait 3-5 days to initiate any communication after a good 1st date. Let 'em think about you for a bit, and reflect on how good it was to meet you. You don't give them anytime to build you up in their minds if you call too soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Defcon Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 She cancelled the date because she has low interest in you. Forget about her. You lowered her interest by being too eager. When you get a phone number, don't call the next day. And yes, the phone conversations lowered her interest. It's anti-challenge. In the early stages of dating, the phone is strictly for making dates. Other than that, stay off the phone. Save the conversation for the date. I'm not proud of it, but I must admit that I've used the stomach ache excuse myself! It's a classic brush off line. Don't send her anymore SMSs or call her again. My thoughts exactly, if something 'sparks' up in her where she wants to see you again or anything she will call/sms back, usually after a week of hearing nothing then its over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brunohill245 Posted January 18, 2006 Author Share Posted January 18, 2006 Thought I would let everyone know, today she sent me an SMS apologizing for missing my call last night due to her evening class (which I know for certain isn’t a lie) and asked how my week was going, so i figure she must still be kinda interested (I hope, fingers crossed!) However I’m definatley not in the clear yet, I sent her an SMS tonight asking her if she would like to arrange a meet up and she hasn’t yet replied...we shall see… Link to post Share on other sites
gfto Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 I sent her an SMS tonight, no answer 2 hours later i called her, no answer. Thats it for this chick, i'm not being messed around with any longer, time to find some new material. I do not intend to be dragged into any hard to get mind games. All it took was an SMS from her, and now you're chasing after her again! I'm sorry to have to say it, but she isn't interested in you. If she was, she would have returned your call last night! She used the "answer his phone call with a text message the next day" trick. A tell-tale sign of low interest! Trust me, I've had women do this to me. You call on Monday, then she sends you an SMS or e-mail on Tuesday, saying, "oh sorry I missed your call; I was busy sweeping the sidewalk," or some other ridiculous excuse for not taking your call. She's just being nice, because she doesn't have to heart to just ignore you completely. If you must fight reality and grasp straws, then go ahead and call her, and ask for a specific date. If she gives you anything less than an enthusiastic yes, then it's time to flush her number! Link to post Share on other sites
Weye Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 gfto and travelingman are right. Everything may have been going so well between you and her, but when she started playing her games with you, you didn't play very well. When you called her and texted her and such, it made her see you as needy. The only chance you have is if you pull back some and let her initiate contact with you. Link to post Share on other sites
StarbrightSB Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 I dont understand at all ahye people play games. I think that if you would prefer putting everything out in the open and calling to arrange things right away then do it! When i met my boyfriend i was so sick of playing games that i was relieved that he called me right after he got my number! Why make charrades out of dating? If you like her be a man and tell her so! I think the same should go for women too! Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 I think that if you would prefer putting everything out in the open and calling to arrange things right away then do it! If you like her be a man and tell her so! Me too. But you can't ask a mouse to be a tiger Link to post Share on other sites
Author brunohill245 Posted January 24, 2006 Author Share Posted January 24, 2006 Hi Folks, I know this may seem like a silly question but it has now been almost one week since I last heard from the girl in question. I have not rang her or SMS’d her since she didn’t reply to my last message or unanswered call on Wednesday. Does anyone think I should send her a friendly SMS or do you think this makes me look like a bit of a loser? Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Does anyone think I should send her a friendly SMS or do you think this makes me look like a bit of a loser? Talk to her or leave it. No more cowardly SMSs! Phone her, be confident and ask for a date. If she says no, walk away gracefully. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hooghie Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Does anyone think I should send her a friendly SMS or do you think this makes me look like a bit of a loser? It will definitely make you look like a loser. Don't do anything to try and talk to her. She cancelled on you and then you contacted her and she hasn't gotten back to you. She is NOT interested- at least for right now. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brunohill245 Posted January 24, 2006 Author Share Posted January 24, 2006 It will definitely make you look like a loser. Don't do anything to try and talk to her. She cancelled on you and then you contacted her and she hasn't gotten back to you. She is NOT interested- at least for right now. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. Thanks for that piece of advice. I think that was exactly what I needed to hear to bring me back to my senses. I have been on a further two dates with other girls since this girl cancelled on me but the problem is I REALLY do like this girl. Oh well, I guess it’s all fun and games in the singles world of dating….i'll get over her... Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 Thanks for that piece of advice. I think that was exactly what I needed to hear to bring me back to my senses. I have been on a further two dates with other girls since this girl cancelled on me but the problem is I REALLY do like this girl. Oh well, I guess it’s all fun and games in the singles world of dating….i'll get over her... You might be wasting an opportunity. I think you should call her. For all you know, she might be wondering why she didn't hear from you again. She might be shy. Or insecure. Or she might be just not interested. You'll never know if you don't call her. If she will think you are a loser because of this, she is not a girl worth dating anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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