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I cheated and my fiance called off the wedding

brknhearted23

By brknhearted23,
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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brknhearted23

brknhearted23

Posted
Posted

I was dating my fiance for almost a year and I cheated on him 6 months ago by giving another guy a peck on the lips and then i cheated on him again a week ago by doing the same thing. This was all because of drinking alcohol. We now broke up and he called off the wedding and he says that we will NEVER be together again because no amount of time will bring back his trust for me. He said that we can only be friends, but I want to earn back that trust because I can't see myself with nobody else but him. I do love him very much and I want to be with him and just start from scratch and let him see the new me. I have moved back home to change into a new person and get help to stop drinking so that this doesnt happen again. There has to be a way to gain back his trust regardless of what he says. Can you please help me and tell me if there is a chance for me to gain back his trust or if he is telling the truth that we will never be together again. What can I do to show him that i'm a new person and he can trust me???

 

P.S. He lives in Ohio and I live in Maine

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IrishCarBomb

IrishCarBomb

Posted
Posted

You aren't telling the whole story.

 

Anyways... if what you said was true... he doesn't want to marry you anyways. He's using it as an excuse to break it off.

 

However... I think there's more to this story....

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Woggle

Woggle

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Not to be mean but you made your bed when you cheated so now lie in it. Not every man is a doormat who will put up with anything a woman does.

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Defcon

Defcon

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Posted
I was dating my fiance for almost a year and I cheated on him 6 months ago by giving another guy a peck on the lips and then i cheated on him again a week ago by doing the same thing. This was all because of drinking alcohol. We now broke up and he called off the wedding and he says that we will NEVER be together again because no amount of time will bring back his trust for me. He said that we can only be friends, but I want to earn back that trust because I can't see myself with nobody else but him. I do love him very much and I want to be with him and just start from scratch and let him see the new me. I have moved back home to change into a new person and get help to stop drinking so that this doesnt happen again. There has to be a way to gain back his trust regardless of what he says. Can you please help me and tell me if there is a chance for me to gain back his trust or if he is telling the truth that we will never be together again. What can I do to show him that i'm a new person and he can trust me???

 

P.S. He lives in Ohio and I live in Maine

 

(I pull this from what you tell me, not knowing anything elts about the relationship, even tho I do believe there is more)

If you love him and can't see yourself with another guy why did you put yourself into the position to have a "encounter" with another guy? Even if alcohol was invloved, if he isn't with you, you are 100% responsible to keep your promise to him. If he was there, he should only to be blamed by very little for the incident, if at all...

In my eyes you are lucky to be forgivin onece and he loved you enuff to give you that second chance. You should have learned after the first time to not put yourself into that position.

 

Personally I would never trust you again after the first time. I have only givin 1 second chance in a relationship.

 

Sorry if I am too straight forward, but like Woggle said,

"Not to be mean but you made your bed when you cheated so now lie in it. Not every man is a doormat who will put up with anything a woman does."

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cygny

cygny

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was this really just a peck on the lips? this doesn't seem real...i mean, i give my guy friends a peck on the lips....it's not a big deal....

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HokeyReligions

HokeyReligions

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First, no matter what the whole story may be (and I agree that there is more to it) you don't change for anyone but yourself. Promising to change for someone else is destined to fail.

 

He's not ready and it doesn't sound like you are either. Work on yourself and don't worry about him.

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noclobber

noclobber

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yeah right.. you can go around and fool with another guy and expect your fiance to put up with that sh*t? that too twice?? your guy is a real man and has self-respect. accept it and walk away! after all it was your own doing.

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Weye

Weye

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No guy with any balls is going to put up with this. You should expect to get dumped after he finds out you've cheated on him. Fix your problems and don't make the same mistake with the next guy.

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BlahBlahQueen

BlahBlahQueen

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Sorry if I'm being obtuse here, but I just don't see how someone can call off an engagement over a peck on the lips. That sounds like a silly excuse to me.

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Woggle

Woggle

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Sorry if I'm being obtuse here, but I just don't see how someone can call off an engagement over a peck on the lips. That sounds like a silly excuse to me.

 

It's a sign of things to come. If he doesn't call it off he should at least string her along for a little bit.

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IrishCarBomb

IrishCarBomb

Posted
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Sorry if I'm being obtuse here, but I just don't see how someone can call off an engagement over a peck on the lips. That sounds like a silly excuse to me.

 

You're assuming the guy really wanted to go through with the wedding. With the given information (which I think is BS anyways)... I'd say he was looking for an opportunity to get out of this engagement. He didn't want to marry her, so he took a coward's move and blamed it on something minor that she did.

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BlahBlahQueen

BlahBlahQueen

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You're assuming the guy really wanted to go through with the wedding. With the given information (which I think is BS anyways)... I'd say he was looking for an opportunity to get out of this engagement. He didn't want to marry her, so he took a coward's move and blamed it on something minor that she did.

 

No $hit, that's what I figured too.

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Cecelius

Cecelius

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I assumed that the "peck on the lips" was the OP's way of minimizing the extent of the cheating -- she said at the outset that she cheated on him.

 

Either he dumped you because he doesn't like you anymore, or he dumped you because you twice kissed to some degree another man where there was booze around.

 

In my picture, g/f + booze + other guy + inappropriate physical contact = no longer my g/f. It is as simple as that.

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tanbark813

tanbark813

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The guy is probably smart enough to realize it wasn't just a "peck on the lips". Whenever someone admits to cheating, it's always at least one level worse than what they admit to, at least initially.

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ehead

ehead

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This whole "peck on the lips" thing is very confusing.

 

I can't tell if she intends that to be a euphemism for something else or what ?

Anyone have any idea ?

 

Calling off an engagement over a peck on the lips is truly insane. It's so insane I don't even see how it could be used as an excuse, assuming he really didn't want to get married. I'd make him come up with another excuse.

 

If it was a full blown make out session ... well then, that is another story possibly.

 

If it was wild hot sex ... well then, I think we all know the answer to that.

 

Does he believe you when you say it was just a peck ? Does he actually say, "yes, I believe it was just a peck, and I don't want to marry you anymore" ?

 

If so ... he needs therapy.

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amerikajin

amerikajin

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I doubt very seriously it was 'just a peck', but even if it was, it happened more than once. At the very least, it's a red flag. Being flirtatious is one thing, but taking the extra step of getting into more intimate physical contact is another.

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Spectre

Spectre

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It probably wasnt just a peck on the lips, then again even if it was I can sort of see where her fiance is coming from.

 

 

First things first, if you have bf you shouldnt be kissing other guys period. Whether its on the lips, cheek, hand, forehead, etc. It just doesnt need to happen. Shake hands or do a short hug, but kissing isnt necessary, stop treating male friends as if youre greeting your favorite aunt who you havent seen for years.

 

Second, if it WAS just a peck, it makes the situation weird. Why? why peck some guy on the lips? Im sure theres a lovely excuse for why it happened, but once it did happen and your bf got mad it should of never happened again. But it DID happen again, if I was your bf I would be wondering a couple of things, why cheat? why do it again? after you were asked not to? and also, why cheat over something so little as a kiss? was kissin some dude on the lips that important? I mean, its kind of like breaking into fort knox to steal a quarter. I mean, he caught you once and you did it again, so you've put him in an awkward situation as a man. He can shrug it off..or he can think to himself what it means, you respect him that little to go out and do the exact same thing that upset him in the first place. Basically youre riskin your relationship so you can peck some ahole on the lips, thats what would piss me off the most if I was your fiance

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