Am I being a fool?

[atlpopchik]

This is kind of a long story, so bear with me.

 

I met a man in my mid-twenties. We seemed to always be at the same parties and rock shows. We became very good friends. He broke up with

his girlfriend. We became better friends. I fell in love with him. We had sex once and then I got weird on him because I wanted more. He was dating other people. I eventually told him how I felt and he told me he did not feel the same way. He eventually started dating someone that was not really mentally stable. Everyone in our circle of friends began to avoid him and the girlfriend. On one notorious night she came after me telling me that she knew that I was in love with her boyfriend and that I should quit calling him. I informed her that he was calling me. That, of coure, made him quit calling me, which was a good thing because seeing him with someone else that was not treating him as I believed he should be treated, really bothered me. After 9 long years he finally married her. Everyone was in disbelief that he made this decision (to clarify, not because of me, but because of the terrible emotional outbursts that they would see this girl have, they could not believe that he would agree to living a life like that). I, of course, had very little to no contact with either of them. I would occasionally run into them at a show or a restaurant, and would be cordial, but knew that I could not be happy seeing him with her. They had a baby so I had completely squashed my feelings and went on with my life.

 

Fast forward to last spring. I ran into him alone at a show. He asked to speak to me alone for a few minutes and began to reminisce about the past. I listened, but the conversation never went anywhere except for me telling him that I was sometimes embarrassed at the lengths I would go to to be near him years earlier. We went back into the crowd and he was very touchy..and affectionate. Several months later I found out that he was divorcing the woman. He contacted me a few months later and asked if he could see me. The first meeting was awkward, I had reservations, but, because this man was and is the love of my life, I was curious and made myself available. He told me that I was the best friend he ever had. That he had never had another friend like me and that he wasn't very good at showing his emotions. He also said that he is still not great at it but he is better.

 

Since that night, we have been to a couple of shows...a movie or two...he met me at my office christmas party. A few days ago he said he wanted to make sure that we always did something every Thursday. His schedule is very busy, as is mine. He has his son three nights a week and is trying to run a fairly new business, that he started. I have a very demanding job and am in school. The divorce is not even final yet. We have not kissed yet. There are many signs that he is interested in being more than a friend and he has, very vaguely, told me to be patient. I am confused because I don't want to be the rebound or interim girl. He knows how I felt in the past, he knows that I am on the verge of feeling that way again...do you think he would just crush me again, for no reason other than to boost his ego?

 

I'm so confused...any input would be appreciated.

[KnowHowLoveFeels]

Hey,

sounds like you still like him alot. But take it slow and give yourself time to learn about the new him. The divorce and the new job will put tremendous stress on him, so don't allow yourself to expect too much from him. He may be on the rebound and only needs a bestfriend's shoulder. Give what you can, but remember to take care of your heart. It may take months, if not a couple of years to know for certain how he really feels about you.

[barfool]

With this divorce he is going to be in a very emotional state for a while. He will need someone to give him support and that is a role that you can fill. However, that does not mean that you need to supply him with the love that he had been missing for these many years. So be there for him, have fun with him but don't get your hopes up. Don't make any emotional investment in him. Just be a good friend.