ohbrother Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Hello, ive been doing a LDR for about 7 months and its been overall a great relationship. Lately though, I just really havent been wanting to talk AT ALL! Its the same talks everyday, how our days went, then just random stuff, but it seriously gets old. I know its bad but i find myself taking naptime so i wont have to talk ! My next visit is in over 4 months and the latest one was aobut 3 weeks. When were together its completely different, im so happy to talk to her and see her! but then when i get back its like man not this again. I try to get her to do a dang hobby but theres serioulsy nothing that we can do together. The only thing i do to feel more connected is to help her with her school work, i like doing that becuase it makes me feel a little more important in her life. Any ideas on what i can do to make myself dying to talk to her? thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 What interests and hobbies do you both have outside of the relationship? Sometimes it's fun to both read the same book or watch the same movie so you can chat about it later. Link to post Share on other sites
Milo Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Don't feel obligated to talk all of the time on the phone. That day to day stuff is better in e-mail. Then, when you talk on the phone it is special. I've been doing that for six months now. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Don't feel obligated to talk all of the time on the phone. That day to day stuff is better in e-mail. Then, when you talk on the phone it is special. I agree. I had a LDR for two years, we were on different sides of the world! We talked sometimes, but never on a daily basis. That would have driven me insane! Link to post Share on other sites
hiraka Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Are you talking on the phone? Quite honestly, if my ldr's communication was based on the phone, it would have been over the first week. Maybe you both could use a voice chat program instead... so you don't have to talk constantly. Just ever now and again. In that case, you can both watch a movie at the same time too. My bf and I have a subscription with netflix and we get the same movies to watch together. We also recently got a webcam so we can see each other. Sharing hobbies is also good. We both enjoy painting mini's and he plans to visit the next time there is an event out here so we both have to work hard so we can both have our minis compete in the contest that the event has. We use the webcams when we work on our minis... Since we both meet playing an mmorpg, we play games together too. We try to see if there are new games we could play with each other as well. I also got a cell phone so he can instant message me all day and so can I. Nothing sucks more than staying later for work and not being able to relay the message... and now I can. Makes us feel closer. The internet is there, use it. If not for it, my relationship would have been over so long ago. Find new ways to interact... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ohbrother Posted January 18, 2006 Author Share Posted January 18, 2006 hmmm.. Its been EVERYDAY for the past 7 months a man can only take so much! anyways, shes not into the camera stuff so ill have to skip on that and oddly we ALWAYS get on fights when we talk on IM, its really wierd. i think it is because she thinks im talking to other people, when in reality im waiting for her to write something back! oh lewis! shes been saying she wants to get a new phone with my service so she can call me MORE im just like .. great! i told her today that i really need something more than our day to day talking about our days and she said she will think of something, she kinda liked the movie idea! i wish there was more collaborative stuff to do! man i hate LDR! how the heck am i supposed to tell her that i dont want to talk to her everyday! earlier in the relationship i wanted to switch it to all emails and letters in the mail and then she got pissed, so i dont know how im going to do this! Link to post Share on other sites
marky25 Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 Hi There, ive been in many long distance relationships and one lasted 3 years, from the sound of it sounds like you are doing what i did which is call everyday sometimes speaking about the same things it can be great at first but if you feel like your repeating yourself ,your only human and you will find this monotonous. you could try writing aletter instead (if you dont already) you will be surprised how more talktative and open people are through letters as opposed to phonecalls, im not saying cut out the phonecalls but maybe have quick phonecall one day then leave it a day and then ring, you can still text or email in the meantime, just give the relationship a little room to breath . im only going off my experience and what you said in your post but this may help and if after all this you still feel unmotivated then that is only up to yourself whether you want the relationship or not, but one thing you must not do is isolate yourself its important in L D R to have your friends around you ,as i found out all too well. but it sounds like you have the beginnings of a lovely relationship and i hope my advice helps and i wish you all the best and good luck cheers marky Link to post Share on other sites
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