BlahBlahQueen Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Exactly how does one go about stopping compulsive emotionally unfaithful thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 can you explain this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlahBlahQueen Posted January 18, 2006 Author Share Posted January 18, 2006 I dunno, sometimes they just pop into my head and fester there. Thoughts about longing or love for other people. I've been good about it so far, and managed to quiet them tonight by writing a love note to my man, playing some music and reading that article on porn... but for the future? It's a compulsion that's hard for me to control, and totally pointless and random. It's haunted me since the beginning of my dating career. Link to post Share on other sites
barfool Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Hmmm, I think fantasizing is fine until it reaches the point of obsession where it interferes with your relationship. Since this does seem to be a habitual problem for you it could be a sign that there are some aspects of the relationship that are unsatisfying. So I don't think it's a matter of stopping the thoughts but taking care of the cause. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Do you have any OCD symptoms or symptoms of obsessive thinking? Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Is it an ex you are fantasising about? Link to post Share on other sites
IrishCarBomb Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Stop dating. Start hooking up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlahBlahQueen Posted January 19, 2006 Author Share Posted January 19, 2006 Do you have any OCD symptoms or symptoms of obsessive thinking? Not really. Is it an ex you are fantasising about? Usually. Stop dating. Start hooking up. Tried it. Not interested in that right now. Since this does seem to be a habitual problem for you it could be a sign that there are some aspects of the relationship that are unsatisfying. Yeah, fine and dandy, but there will ALWAYS be something less than perfect, and I'm sick of turning to others when I'm frustrated... the feelings escalate and have led to bigger problems... Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 is there something wrong with fantasising? Its your brain and as long as you are not acting on it, where is the problem? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlahBlahQueen Posted January 19, 2006 Author Share Posted January 19, 2006 is there something wrong with fantasising? Its your brain and as long as you are not acting on it, where is the problem? Because as I said, the feeling escalate and lead to bigger problems... I start to warp things out of proportion, make mountains out of molehills, fall in love with other people and basically ruin any sense of permanence in my relationship, thinking "I should get with this one or get back with that one..." instead of focusing on the current problem and how I can solve it. It's a weird compulsion, and since no one seems to know the answer, I will probably just keep trying to distract myself whenever the thoughts pop up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 Have you read up on neurolinguistic programming? It's a pretty useful approach to managing your thoughts..which, I guess, is the first step towards managing your emotions. Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 You said you usually, fantasize about an ex?? do you still have feelings for an ex?.. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 You are not actualy being graphic enough for me to know what you are talking about. Can you give an exact example? So far it sounds quite normal to me. You are doubting who you are with so you reminise about what things where like with others. We all do that to a degree. Is it possible that you are just not happy with the guy you are with now? Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 is there something wrong with fantasising? Its your brain and as long as you are not acting on it, where is the problem? Sure, innocent fantasies are fine. However, fantasizing about ex bf's while you have a bf is a no no. I'd feel awful if my gf was doing that. Its one thing to fantasize about Justin Timberlake or something because theres really no chance of it ever happening. Fantasizing about an ex is different because theres a good chance it can turn into reality. to the OP, if youre fantasizing about ex bfs just dump ur current bf, nobody deserves that, and you sure arent in love with this man if you keep fantasizing about others Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 That is her problem it seems, it does not matter who she is with she ends up thinking about ex's and it causes doubts and problems. Maybe it does stem from not being happy with the guy you are with, or maybe she just misses certain things about her ex's. Link to post Share on other sites
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