oss91 Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 I cheated on my (ex)girlfriend last year - a one night stand - while living in hong kong for a year. At first I told her we just made out, but eventually I confessed. She told me had suspected it all along. Well, naturally, she broke up with me. We talked last night for probably 45 minutes. She told me that she doesn't want to throw away 6 years together over this, but that for now, all she's willing to give me is friendship. I completely understand and know it will take quite some time before she is able to forgive me, if ever. I'm pretty sure I am overanalyzing this, but the words "for now" just jump out at me. Has she left the door on our relationship slightly open for a possible reconciliation later on down the road? Link to post Share on other sites
cygny Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 door is open. but she is waiting for you to prove yourself. cheating AND lying ---whoa-- that's a double offense. Link to post Share on other sites
barfool Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Yep, you definately shouldn't have lied. If I were her I would be much more upset by the lying than the cheating. It sounds like she may be willing to give you another chance but for now she wants to regroup. She will need time to think this over and figure out if the relationship is salvageable. She may swing either way on this. If you guys do continue you would have to start from scratch with trust (or actually negative points). I don't know how you could regain it other than time and complete honesty about everything. Link to post Share on other sites
ehead Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Of course the cheating and they lying are both big trouble, but come on ... who wouldn't consider lying in such a situation ? It would definitely be a temptation. I can certainly understand. For many, cheating is the deal breaker and there can be no reconciliation. Consider yourself lucky. --- I had a friend in a similiar situation (his gf cheated on him). They had been dating for 5 years or so. He DID get back with her, but he always felt differently about things. Essentially, he just decided in his own mind that if fidelity didn't mean much to his gf there is no reason for him to give it any special honor either. It was as if he was plotting his "revenge", which to him meant sleeping around on his girlfriend. Some people can get over it ... some can't. Often it takes months/years to know for sure. Growing up, my best friends dad slept with one of our teachers (it was a huge neighborhood scandal). His wife stayed with him 2 years before she decided she couldn't "take it" anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Why do people cheat ? Don't they know someone is going to get hurt.. She is willing to be your friend you lucky she still wants that! Don't pressure her because you might not get another relationship with her as a gf if you do.. She wants you to prove that you can be trusted and this way she won't get hurt if you cheat again!! Link to post Share on other sites
cygny Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 yup you are going to have to be patient. iirc she waited 8-9 months for you...so don't be surprised if you will have to do the same for her. all the while being patient and monogamous and faithful, while she does her thing. Link to post Share on other sites
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