Anti-depressants

[WWDDFD]

I've been going to therapy for the past 1.5 months and my doctor reccomended that I start using anti-depressants this week. When I first started going, I felt like this is what I wanted; I was sick and tired of being so depressed every minute of the day, of randomly crying whenever a song came on, or commercials advertising wedding rings (pretty much everything makes me want to cry now).

 

I intentionally didn't ask about them, however, because I felt like if I did he would think I was trying to get them... but now that he's reccomended them to me, I'm not really sure what to do. I'm afraid of drugs; I don't even take an advil unless I feel like my head is literally going to explode (I took 4 advils in the entire year of 2005), and now he says he thinks Zoloft would be good for me. He says it won't solve my problems, but it will give me enough of a boost to finally start having some self esteem.

 

I've slowly isolated myself from everyone I know over the past two months, by getting into fights with them (I have a problem with letting people step all over me and I let it build up until I finally snapped 2 months ago), and now my therapist is the only person I talk to anymore, so I don't have anyone else to get advice from.

 

I was wondering if anyone had any helpful insights about anti-depressants and what they are like and what they affect and if it has been a good or a bad thing in your experience?

 

Please help, thank you.

[WWDDFD]

I also forgot to say that the more I think about it the more I want to say no to using them. I'm afraid if someone asks me if I'm using them and I cannot lie about something this serious in my life and when they find out they'll think I'm even more of a freak than they think I already am.

 

"Oh you're on anti-depressants, what's wrong with you?"

 

[lindya]

I also forgot to say that the more I think about it the more I want to say no to using them. I'm afraid if someone asks me if I'm using them and I cannot lie about something this serious in my life and when they find out they'll think I'm even more of a freak than they think I already am.

 

"Oh you're on anti-depressants, what's wrong with you?"

 

 

It's not an uncommon condition, and a lot of people go untreated. You've recognised a problem, and in consultation with your doctor you're addressing it. That's the responsible approach to take, and I'd suggest that if people you know are liable to judge you for it then they lack an understanding of the condition...in which case it's probably best to avoid discussing it with them. Your focus has to be on getting better, and your doctor is far better placed to help you do that than some informed individual who has a knee-jerk reaction to the idea of anyone being on anti-depressants.

 

Obviously people vary in their responses to this sort of treatment....so even if you find a forum devoted to people using the medication your doctor is prescribing for you, their experiences won't necessarily be relevant to you. You need the treatment to be supervised by your doctor, who will no doubt ask you to keep a careful note of any strange symptoms you experience so that your progress on the medication can be properly monitored.

 

Many people have strong views about this sort of medication, but equally many people's lives have been improved dramatically by it.

[Outcast]

You are depressed because your body chemistry is screwed up. This is no more your fault than it would be if you had diabetes or kidney disease or any other metabolic condition.

 

The anti-depressants will do for you what your body cannot. There is no shame in this. It's true a lot of people don't understand what science knows about depression, so there's no point in telling people about it if you think they will think ill of you for it.

 

However, how much worse can people think of you? You're already crying at everything as well as alienating people by fighting with them. I should think that they would be pleased that you are working towards repairing these situations.

 

Read up on the biology of depression, become informed about how our brains are just chemical machines like all other organs, and refuse to feel ashamed because you have one organ that's not working perfectly and that you're trying to heal. You should be proud!!

[Becoming]

Ditto to above!

 

I've been on different anti-depressants for depression and they can make a significant difference. It's like you get yourself and your ability to deal with life back.

 

Yes, they may be overprescribed, but not for those who need it. You went to your dr. for advice, so take it. If after 3 weeks or so you don't notice any improvement, you can always take yourself off. Some meds work better than others for different people, so if Zoloft doesn't do it, something else might.

 

Keep fighting depression; it's a sneaky disease that can destroy your life.

[Fun2BMe]

I too hate taking medications, I took maybe 2 asprins all of last year. At a therapist's insistence, I took Zoloft for a while a couple of years ago. In my case, the side-effects were worse than beneficial. It gave me terrible nightmares and sleeping problems, loss of all sexual drive, heart palpitations that resulted in me passing out at work and other bad side effects even though overal emotionally I felt "better" or should I say numb/zombie-like.

 

When I told the therapist I no longer wanted to take any medications, she said she would terminate me as a patient and that is what ended up happening. The same happened when I saw a therapist in college, so I no longer like them. They just want to write prescriptions, and psychologists just sit and listen, something my friends do anyways without giving advice or making me feel better after the session.

 

As soon as I got off of it, I felt like "myself" again, as though I had been zoned out somewhere else and just awoken from a dream. It also takes a toll on your liver. This is my experience, everyone is different and for some the benefits outweigh the cons.

 

The natural endorphins released from exercising helps balance out my chemistry imbalance the most effectively as far as treating depression is concerned. Even a glass a wine does the trick naturally without directly messing with your brain which is too precious to let a pharmaceutical company tamper with. But for treating severe depression for a short term period, it might be good for you to try it out to pull you out of a rut.

 

I only tried Zoloft so maybe like many people say, you have to experiment with different pills until you find one that agrees most with your body. As a health conscious person in good shape, I have decided to not experiment with these things unless absolutely necessary.

[Outcast]

. Even a glass a wine does the trick naturally without directly messing with your brain

 

Everything you eat and drink 'messes with your brain' and alcohol kills brain cells.

[Fun2BMe]

I'm not advocating wine drinking however studies do show that a glass of wine is healthy and recommended (some cultures drink wine like Americans drink coffee or beer) but on balance, compared to drugs, because of its antioxidants and naturalness (made simply by fermenting grapes in a barrel, even my parents used to make it in their vineyard) it IS healthier than toxic chemicals made in a lab available by prescription only that have severe long term side effects. Heavy wine drinking does as well, but taking medications even in the recommended dosage is still worse in comparison to a glass of wine (not talking about a whole bottle). Any movement of the head kills brain cells too; it is the whole totality of the effect that is being taken into consideration. Not all of the hazardous chemicals in drugs get removed completely from the body, accomulating in different areas over time, whereas wine breaks down to sugar and gets completely digested and flushed out of the body.

[WWDDFD]

Thank you for your replies, I have a little more insight now, and I've decided that I'm going to talk to my doctor more about it, and I think I probably will decide to use them.

 

The truth is, I have been suicidal for a while now, I'm not really sure exactly when it started again, but it was around September/October. I was like this for a very long time all throughout my adolescence (mostly middle and high school), and for the last two years of college up until the end of 2004, when I actually did try killing myself by sleeping in a snowbank with nothing but a t-shirt and gym shorts (my brother ended up convincing me to keep living), and it was gone for most of 2005, but it came back when it became obvious that my relationship with my "fiancee" was mostly a joke, and that she was using me simply because I could provide her with undying loyalty and financial stability, and didn't actually love me at all (for example, she wouldn't even hug me, and snapped at me "Well why don't you go find someone else to marry if you don't like our relationship!!" whenever I tried to talk about it), and I realise that if I feel this bad over ending an abusive relationship with someone who didn't even remotely love me, what will happen if one day I find someone who does, and then the relationship ends? I'll probably feel 100x worse and I don't want to deal with that.

 

As it stands, I have to find reasons to not kill myself; I give myself goals, like, I had a house-sitting obligation over Christmas and New Years, so I told myself that I can't do anything stupid until I take care of that first; and now I'm in charge of a new project at work, and I can't do anything stupid while I'm working on it, or else I'll screw over my company and I can't do that.

 

But I hate thinking this way; I want to live and actually enjoy life, and not have to actively search for reasons to not end it.

[Outcast]

Not all of the hazardous chemicals in drugs get removed completely from the body, accomulating in different areas over time, whereas wine breaks down to sugar and gets completely digested and flushed out of the body.

 

It's very sad that some people are only anti-meds when the meds are for ailments of the brain. As for you and your 'toxic chemicals', people ingest 'toxic chemicals' every time they eat a fry or a cookie or a cracker with hydrogenated oils in it so to make a big fuss about these meds, which really help people, because of 'toxic chemicals' is craziness. As is believing that 'a glass of wine' is sufficient therapy for a chemically-based ailment.

 

WWDDFD, congratulations on making a good choice for your health. The fact that thoughts of suicide plague means that you absolutely need something stronger than 'a glass of wine' to help you. I do agree that exercise helps, but it can only do so much.

[lindya]

I realise that if I feel this bad over ending an abusive relationship with someone who didn't even remotely love me, what will happen if one day I find someone who does, and then the relationship ends? I'll probably feel 100x worse and I don't want to deal with that.

 

You'd be surprised. You honestly would.

 

What you're saying is an echo of what I was saying to myself about 18 months back. You wonder "if I feel like this now, how would I feel after, say, a divorce?"

 

The thing is that a) you're unwell, and b) you've obviously got a lot to sort out in yourself before you're ready to get into another relationship. Right now you might well be trapped in victim mode. I don't mean that in any kind of derogatory way. I think it's a natural way to feel when everything's going wrong and you're suffering from depression. You feel powerless, wonder what the point of anything is....and, as you suggest, it feels as if duties and obligations are the only thing keeping you alive.

 

Unfortunately, these feelings don't just dissipate overnight. Taking anti-depressants is a big step to helping you, but there's also other aspects such as counselling to help you change the sort of thinking that has been a backdrop to all of this.

 

Anti-depressants just give you the energy to make changes...they don't switch a "happy light" on. For a while you might have to really just go through the motions of doing things that would ordinarily make you happy...then gradually you start to feel like a human being again.

 

 

But I hate thinking this way; I want to live and actually enjoy life, and not have to actively search for reasons to not end it.

 

That sounds like a sign that you're on the turnaround to recovery. The motivation to get better is a huge factor in actually getting there. Keep posting on the board. People will be happy to offer support, and help you to talk through some of your feelings. It's not a substitute for counselling, obviously, but nonetheless it might help you to sort out some of your thinking about all this.