wonderin_y Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 i recently started dating one of my closest male friends. We dont have too much in common but somehow we got along great and things just happened. He does not go to school or have a steady job like I do and i think that makes him feel a little insecure, thought he wont admit it and it doesnt bother me because he's done a lot for me, including quitting smoking- and that means more to me than materialistic things! Things were great at first, but as he fell more and more for me, he lost his trust in me also. I dont understand this and cant accept it. I have given him no reason not to trust me and have done my best to cater to his insecurities by spending all my time with him, checking in with him when im out, not talking to certain people, etc. but it doesnt seem to work. What's worse is that he now has reoccuring dreams about me. In a few, he ended up killing people because he found out that I had died, but didnt know why. In the latest he found out that i died because i had asked him if he would "share" me with someone else- so he threw me in front of a train! These disturb me of course, and im pretty sure they stem from his trust and anger issues. Im not sure what to do... I personally would not date someone i did not trust, and it bothers me that he would. Is this something that he will get over and how can i help? If not, what should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 I have given him no reason not to trust me and have done my best to cater to his insecurities by spending all my time with him, checking in with him when I'm out, not talking to certain people, etc. but it doesn't seem to work. People like him will eventually control every aspect of your life - it's already starting. I personally would not date someone i did not trust, and it bothers me that he would. So why are you dating someone that doesn't trust you? Is this something that he will get over and how can i help? Sounds to me like his behaviour is escalating, so I don't see how he'll just 'get over it'. He should be talking to a therapist. If not, what should I do? He doesn't have a job, he doesn't go to school, you don't have much in common, he doesn't trust you & you are changing your behaviour to accommodate his unfounded jealousy. Add to that the strong possibility that he may hurt you one day - I say get out now while you still have some chance to maintain a friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
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