Need advice

[Joe]

Hi, it's me again. Well so you have all heard, I posted my profile on match.com and for nearly two weeks a girl and I has been e-mailing each other and have a lot in common and seem to like one another.

 

She of course came to me, and lives only 15 or so miles away but will soon be moving to my city. Well, tonight is it.. we're meeting for the first time this evening and since this is the first time in like 5 years I've been out with anyone on such an occassion I am excited.

 

But I'm also kind of nervous because I don't want to say or do something wrong that'll come across the wrong way. I want to make this a pleasant evening for the both of us to get to know one another better.

 

What is some advice you can give me to help me? What are some do's and don'ts? what are some things her and I can talk about, conversation starters? I'm not very well at sparking "great" conversations, at least in my opinion.

 

Thanks for any help.

[sparkle]

First of all, make sure you are dressed nice. Nothing fancy, nothing flashy, but something simple and classy, and appropriate for what you two will be doing. The point is that you should look clean and neat.

 

Wear cologne, but not too much.

 

Make sure your fingernails are trimmed and clean.

 

Trust me, all of the above matters.

 

Okay, now that I'm done with the looks, let's talk about the do's and dont's.

 

Do act natural around her, and don't pretend to be something you're not. We girls can spot a faker easily.

 

Don't show off too much because you don't want her to think that you're arrogant.

 

Don't talk about touchy subjects like religion, politics or sex. DO NOT talk about sex. DO NOT talk about past sexual experiences or past relationships.

 

Don't ask her questions that are too personal, as you don't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

 

Don't talk too much period. Don't talk about yourself too much. Don't reveal much about you at all. We love mysterious guys. We are drawn to guys that we don't know too much about. We find mysterious guys terribly attractive. So make sure you don't reveal too much about yourself.

 

Do ask questions about her. Lots of questions. Keep the conversation directed on her. We love to talk about ourselves. We love telling you about our lives. We also love a guy who's a great listener.

 

That way, when you don't tell her too much about yourself AND you let her talk more about herself, you can worry less about what to say.

 

So, things to talk about:

 

You can ask her how many brothers or sisters she has. Talking about family is often a good subject. Or pets.

 

You can talk about travel and places she's been.

 

You can talk about her job and career goals.

 

You can talk to her about her hobbies and things she likes to do. Music? Dancing? Sports?

 

If you have a sense of humor, make her laugh. Be casual. Don't be uptight. Be calm. Smile a lot. Be charming. Be a gentleman. Watch your manners. Hold the door open...etc etc.

 

Finally, don't be nervous!!! lol

 

Good luck, and tell us how things go! .

[marzipan75]

Well, for starters try to remember some of the conversations you've had in your emails. That should definitely give you a good place to start. Also, unless you've talked about it before, it's usually good not to start off talking politics with somebody when you first meet them. A few friends of mine have made some big mistakes and ended up sticking their feet in their mouths by getting into politics. Don't do it. You could also talk about something you really love, maybe your jobs or ask her if she's excited about moving there,etc. Ask her about her job and her family, family is always a good ice breaker. Ask how many siblings, what her parents do, where they live, where she grew up, etc.

 

She'll probably be inclined to ask you about these things as well. It also shows that you are interested in getting to know the person when you ask about something close to them such as family or what they love to do. Oh, also, ask if she's got any pets,etc. or if you do tell her about yours, a lot of girls love animals so that might be a big plus.

 

Remember, she's probably as nervous as you are so just take it easy and try to keep calm, yes things can be awkward but that's all part of the excitement so just sit back and try to enjoy yourself. If all else fails, you can always go to a movie, it's an easy way to end an evening. You could also talk about what movies you two like to watch.

 

just a few ideas there. Hope that helps.

 

marz

Hi, it's me again. Well so you have all heard, I posted my profile on match.com and for nearly two weeks a girl and I has been e-mailing each other and have a lot in common and seem to like one another. She of course came to me, and lives only 15 or so miles away but will soon be moving to my city. Well, tonight is it.. we're meeting for the first time this evening and since this is the first time in like 5 years I've been out with anyone on such an occassion I am excited. But I'm also kind of nervous because I don't want to say or do something wrong that'll come across the wrong way. I want to make this a pleasant evening for the both of us to get to know one another better. What is some advice you can give me to help me? What are some do's and don'ts? what are some things her and I can talk about, conversation starters? I'm not very well at sparking "great" conversations, at least in my opinion. Thanks for any help.

[Joe]

Thanks for the advice, I'll be keeping it all in mind throughout the evening. I'm still nervous, but I'm sure it'll be fine. What should I say when I first see her, what should I do?

[Joe]

Will be leaving in like 15 minutes or so to meet her finally. do I take her a flower or no? expected or not expected?