BUTAFLY Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 As a man: would you choose a good mother and a good provider over a person whom you love and have fun with? Is love not enough? Ladies, if you want to weigh in go ahead. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 As a man: would you choose a good mother and a good provider over a person whom you love and have fun with? Is love not enough? Ladies, if you want to weigh in go ahead. No. I would not pick someone who was a good mother and provider over someone I loved. It has to be more than a business decision. Link to post Share on other sites
CastorTroy Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 I think there is a better way to phrase the question - I will always love my exwife but i would never go back with her. While I also love my current wife, comparing the two are like apples and oranges for instance - ex wife - physically very attractive, financially irresponsible and lived paycheck to paycheck, loved to go out and have a good time and spent $10 for every $5 she had in her pocket included with the emotional maturity of a 10 year old. The best way to describe our relationship was when the good times were great and the bad times as bad as they get. Current wife - physically "average", likes to stay home, financially family is wealthy and our first child is on the way. For the last 3 years my life has been calm and stable without any source of drama. Now would it be healthy for me to still be with my first wife? probably not since we fought 4-5 days a week over who would do the dishes. But there was that "something" that always kept us together. We were the best of friends yet the worst of enemys - kind of like brother/sister - love/hate relationship dont really know if this sheds any insight on the topic but just thought i would toss this out there Link to post Share on other sites
Author BUTAFLY Posted January 20, 2006 Author Share Posted January 20, 2006 Castertroy, Thank you for your reply. It does shed light. utimately, stability wins. Link to post Share on other sites
Freckles1001 Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Current wife - physically "average", likes to stay home, financially family is wealthy and our first child is on the way. For the last 3 years my life has been calm and stable without any source of drama. Question - do you miss the drama? Link to post Share on other sites
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Every good guy out there will chose the "mother" type over any "attractive" woman. I am attractive and intelligent (I have a doctoral degree), but how many times have I been asked out when I was in college? Nil. That's right! Whearas my sister, who is average looking but "motherly" had her pick of men in college and eventually married her boyfriend from college. Was I less "homey" than my sister? NO WAY! As of now, I have 3 children while she only has 2, but that's beside the point. The point is, men are more comfortable with average looking women. Period. Link to post Share on other sites
CastorTroy Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 Do I miss the drama? Not really. If the drama was over serious issues that would be a different story. I had to deal with stuff like who was going to clean the bathroom, whose friends were drunks - my friends how drink beer at a bar or her friends who drink martinis at $15 a drink, and the best one was how to properly throw away the garbage (dont ask because to this day i still havent figured out that one. I always assumed if you threw out the garbage when it was full or before it started to stink that you were doing it the right way but according to my ex wife i guess that wasnt the case) what pisses me off is that it was 10 years down the drain during my 20s where i could have been screwing around, being irresponsible and having fun with my friends Link to post Share on other sites
Katch22 Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Now would it be healthy for me to still be with my first wife? probably not since we fought 4-5 days a week over who would do the dishes. But there was that "something" that always kept us together. We were the best of friends yet the worst of enemys - kind of like brother/sister - love/hate relationship dont really know if this sheds any insight on the topic but just thought i would toss this out there I always say that my exhubby and I love to hate each other and hate to love each other. We were each others best allies when it came to the world againist us but we were also each others worst nightmares!!! But we were able to salavage a friendship out of our marriage... Link to post Share on other sites
JustMakeMeBelieve Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 First off, I am not the other woman. I was the one who kept the home fires burning, brought home the bacon when he decided he didn't want to work becuase someone pissed him off, took care of his daughter and raised her while he was in the recliner watching tv or on the computer or out in the garage drinking himself into a stupor. And twice, yes twice he found someone else on the internet, someone he thought he was better suited with, someone who he thought he could be happy with. The first one he left when she told him he needed to start contributing to the bills of the household. He ran right back to me and as stupid as I was I took him back. Now this time, he says he's not been happy for a long long time, there are unexplained charges and debits in the bank account, he spent Christmas and New Years weekends with someone while dumping his daughter on his sister to watch and he gave me 2 weeks to pack my stuff up and move out. This time however, I will not be as stupid as I was the first time around and if anyone wants more specifics on this slimeball air sucking parasite, feel free to contact me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BUTAFLY Posted January 24, 2006 Author Share Posted January 24, 2006 Do I miss the drama? Not really. If the drama was over serious issues that would be a different story. I had to deal with stuff like who was going to clean the bathroom, whose friends were drunks - my friends how drink beer at a bar or her friends who drink martinis at $15 a drink, and the best one was how to properly throw away the garbage (dont ask because to this day i still havent figured out that one. I always assumed if you threw out the garbage when it was full or before it started to stink that you were doing it the right way but according to my ex wife i guess that wasnt the case) what pisses me off is that it was 10 years down the drain during my 20s where i could have been screwing around, being irresponsible and having fun with my friends I do believe 20 early/mid 20's is young to be married...I did learn this is a regional way of thinking, I went to college in the midwest and found its the norm to get hitched early/out of hight school. I'm from NYC and I wouldn't even think of that. Sorry you wasted your 20's Link to post Share on other sites
luckygirl Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 My current boyfriend was married to a woman who was a very good mother. She did everything for her husband and family. She was not attractive at ALL! I often wondered what he saw in her! She did not want to work and stayed home taking care of the family. She did a great job! She never complained about him working all the time and working late. She never complained about him going out with the guys. They never fought. I however, am much younger, (not bragging) but much more attractive. I have two children and I would call myself an average mother. I have no desire to stay home and take care of my family. I am a professional career woman. I want my children and husband to have the best, I love them dearly and I would stay home and take care of them if necessary, but not permanently. I do complain that he works all the time. I do not get to spend much time with him, so if he goes out, I want to go too! We fight all the time, but we are completely and totally in love! Link to post Share on other sites
AnchorManagement Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 "We fight all the time, but we are completely and totally in love!" Luckygirl - The above quote is a dangerous mix of ingredients. I do wish you luck, though. Knowhowlovefeels - No, not all men are attracted to the 'motherly' type, though, yeah, I guess it does represent the majority. I've always been placed in the emotionally nurturing role with women, and a main part of why I fell into an affair was that my OW was going through a terrible marriage of her own and gravitated to the empathy I offered. In other words, I ended up doing the 'mothering'. At first, anyway. But the reason it lasted three years was that we were just so perfectly compatible - both strong, both perceptive - and of course.... the sex. So in my case I was looking for neither a mother nor a daughter type, I just happened to meet an amazing partner. Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 ex wife - physically very attractive, financially irresponsible and lived paycheck to paycheck, loved to go out and have a good time and spent $10 for every $5 she had in her pocket included with the emotional maturity of a 10 year old. The best way to describe our relationship was when the good times were great and the bad times as bad as they get. Did we marry and split from the same woman?? Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 I want a little bit of both. I need a good balance. Link to post Share on other sites
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