sparkle & fade Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 ummmmmmm… I met this man…..(no, its not what your thinking) at work….. Every now and then we exchange conversation.(via phone) Recently it has gotten more developed as in more personal. By personal I mean the formal question of “are you seeing anyone in particular” Of course I told the truth and said that I was in a commited relationship. And I answered “YES” when he asked if I loved him. Basically I didn’t sugar coat anything, I was honest and forthright. The problem is my SO forbids me to have friends that are male (or any friends it seems) And I sort of alluded this to the man. However, This man wants to hang out……. Calls me on and off. Well, man has been “play” threatening to call me at a time when he knows my SO will be present. As in ha ha ha but not really. Then he asked me if my man knew about “us”….what about us??? He says, “you know, of our relationship”?????? I of course told him he was delusional but he assured me he wasn’t….. Is he just playing around with me, yanking my chain or Or do you think that maybe it really isn’t a good idea to be friends with him after all, because his intentions are more than “intentional”….. Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 This dude at work wants more than friendship. isn't it obvious? Lose him. Fast. Like, today. Now. What worries me, though, is that your S/O forbids you to have male friends, or maybe even female friends. Since when is your S/O your mother/father/parole officer all rolled into one? At what point did he decide that you weren't reliable or trustworthy enough to manage your own friendships? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sparkle & fade Posted January 19, 2006 Author Share Posted January 19, 2006 ok, I wasnt really alarmed with him until he started to lure me out with (i think) false situations....as in....OH, I ran out of gas, can you come pick me up? or similar stories........but he is harmless, is he not? just playing maybe? Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 First off, distance yourself from the 'friend' at work. His behavior is manipulative and creepy. If you have to speak to him, only talk about work. Your boyfriend comes across (in your various threads) as being controlling of you and basically directing your life. You really need to ask yourself why you stay with someone who acts like you're his possession. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sparkle & fade Posted January 19, 2006 Author Share Posted January 19, 2006 Well, because he was worrying me I asked him if he was joking about that….. (the whole “us” thing) And he says “yeah, I was playing” Then we both started laughing. Then I told him I was relieved because there was no “us” and that he kinda scared me a little. Then we both started laughing again Then he says “but did you tell him” And I say “what”?! And he says “about us”? And I said “oh your joking again right”? And he says “no, not about this” Eventually he admits that he is joking again and that my reaction makes him laugh…. Then we talk a bit and we start having a discussion and he responds with “I love you too” ……..what do you all think?! Does he just like to hear my reaction, so purposefully gets me nervous and riled???? Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 I think you seem to attract wierdos......im mean.....have you told your S/O ubout the two of us .............no.......really............ I say just tell this guy that hes making you uncomfortable with all of this. And if he persists, tell you S/O so he can come explain it to him in greater detail. It also bothers me that your S/O is controling like that, but whatever works for you. ........so.....um.......did you tell him......no......for reals yo Link to post Share on other sites
Author sparkle & fade Posted January 20, 2006 Author Share Posted January 20, 2006 NNNNooooooo!!!!!!!!! NOT AGAIN!!! ha ha ha.....Super Fantastico, you have a WARPED sense of humor....!!! and so does this guy, apparently so maybe I will just keep my distance on the off chance he is crazed......but he has great points too, and its tough to make friends and he is the first one who didnt seem fazed that I had a SO that didnt like me to have friends. Usually my demeanor alone pushes people away because I was so tired of making friends only to lose them again due to probs with SO....But it doesnt seem to faze him. Link to post Share on other sites
skeptik224 Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Buy a new pair of gym shoes and run fast. It's only going to get worse. Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 I'm not sure which is more worrisome. The SO or the guy who's sniffing around. Ok, I think it's the SO. A guy that cuts you off from having friends is trying to cut off your emotional support so that he has all of the power in relationships. This is, in itself, a reason to run far far away. I've been there, trust me. It can get really ugly and you may end up with no confidence and absolutely no one to turn to. It's one thing for a guy not to want you to have a bunch of male friends. I respect that since I can have a little bit of a fan club and I don't want the guy running around town with his groupies either. But I'm still going to have my girls to back me up. I really think you're in a bad situation and just don't realize it. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted January 23, 2006 Share Posted January 23, 2006 I think he is messing with your head. I would stop talking to him. If you are brave enough , tell your husband that some jerk is bothering you at work. That way if play boy tells your hubby , you have it covered. On the other hand your husband sounds controlling and he might go nuts. Link to post Share on other sites
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