Author dragonfish Posted January 27, 2006 Author Share Posted January 27, 2006 I find it sad, reading posts like yours as you must be very unhappy. Flippin heck, now you get bitchy. I wasn't intending to be bitchy, I was intending to apologize for making people on this forum uncomfortable. I hadn't read the forum description prior to posting. As it was clear that I was getting responses from OW who would probably not be able to understand my point of view, I chose to post on another forum. Why do you have a problem with that? Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 erika... you know, I never wanted my post to turn into a fight fest. I apologise for saying mean things to you or seeming judgmental. You posted not once, but twice and said that I was sad or pathetic, which in turn was unfair to me. Why even reply to my posts if you think I'm so pathetic? Why get so nasty at me when you aren't so perfect either? I'd rather you not reply to me at all. I didn't join this site for this. You're right, and I do apologize. I'm just going through a tough time with my own situation, I still haven't made my peace with it.. and I just attacked for some reason. I'm usually not like that. I'm sorry.. Link to post Share on other sites
AJS Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 Thanks erika! Instead of fighting we should all be helping one another. Board friends? Link to post Share on other sites
BUTAFLY Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 and your H got away with it? Link to post Share on other sites
elmejor Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 You are so cute elmo, can I call you elmo? (your posts have given me great laughs) Look, I'm happy, got a great family, H whom loves me and life is great! You think I need meds because I slapped a silly little HO and liked it? I think it just makes you mad that a woman can defend her family and WIN. Oh and elmo.....Don't feel sorry for me, I am completely satisfied with my life. DEFEND HER FAMILY AND WIN? What are you talking about? A woman made a pass at your H, and you think assaulting her was "defending" your family? No, it wasn't. It was committing assault. IMO, if you felt the need to commit that unwarranted attack, you're quite insecure about your H, and your marriage. But, you say this happened a long time ago, hopefully you've calmed down with age. I am cute? You have no idea...let me just say that men chase me daily, and always have. Younger men, older men, single, married. I am considered beautiful, and men love me. I LOVE men too...you may have slapped ONE "skanky HO" but what about the millions of other women in the world, are you prepared to slap all of them? Well, let's just hope you have slowed down with age. You called me elmo? Whatever you wish. I'll just call you THUG. It makes me mad that you can defend your family and win? Dream on, Baby! P.S. I'll bet I know the reason your H was so "understanding" about your "fling" from a few years ago that you were talking about. He probably needs you to be "understanding" about him too. Just a hunch on my part, but I'm fairly certain that would be the case.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bullhunter Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 I read these postings with interest. The title caught my eye and I have a few thoughts on the matter. First, to dragonfish: had I been the man in question, I personally would have appreciated knowing that the woman had her sights set on me. It would alter my attitude toward the woman and therefore my behavior. Things would then be VERY clear. The women on this forum talk about the men being grown-ups and capable of making up their own minds etc, etc. (I especially enjoyed the line about not knowing the “intricacies of what goes on between a man and woman” --- what BS) At the same time you talk about being tricked by men. Are you so self-serving that you truly believe that men cannot be tricked, cannot get into a situation that they believe is one thing, but the woman has something totally different in mind? Why is it that you believe that can happen to women, but not to men? And why, when men then react in a way you don’t like, it is automatically his problem? AJS: I don’t believe that you should have hit the woman. Though I’m sure it was satisfying, there are far more effective ways to hurt someone without putting yourself in legal danger. Elmejor: frankly, you just sound like someone to stay a LONG ways away from. Banana: it’s not just women who when they think they are going to lose something they love change their actions. So now for my story – I posted this earlier on a different forum, but am going to repeat it here even though I know you are all going to hate me – I don’t give a s**t. My wife and I were having a difficult time. Not enough to cause a divorce, but difficult. I wasn't treating her right. She wasn't treating me right. Of course at the time I could only see that see wasn't treating me right. I was depressed. A woman I knew slightly was moving some distance away to be with her boyfriend. She asked me if it would be OK to e-mail me after she got settled in her new place. I was definitely not attracted to her and believed she was moving to live with her boyfriend. If my wife and I would have been OK, I wouldn't have agreed. Also, if this woman had the physical attributes that get me going I wouldn't have agreed. But I did agree. I was angry with my wife and wanted to do something mean to her (but didn't want her to know I was doing it). We wrote for a time, some number of months that I don't even remember anymore. It was all casual, hi how are you type stuff. This wasn't what y'all seem to call an EA as there wasn't emotional stuff but my wife didn't know about it either, and wouldn’t have been OK with it if she did know. So maybe an unemotional affair (UA?) I can't say I was working on my marriage, I obviously wasn’t. I was sure though that my wife and I would resolve our problems in time. I had no desire for another woman or a breakup of my marriage. She (the OW) came back to my area for a visit, I can't remember now if it was business or pleasure or what, but asked me if we could meet. I said sure, no problem. This woman seemed to think now that she had me trapped. The only thing she assumed correctly was that my wife didn’t know I was writing. She made it clear that she wanted me. She quoted back e-mails I had sent and told me that this that or the other proved that I wanted her too. She threatened to tell my wife. I got P**SED. I had been thinking of this as a simple little friendship, no big deal, no pain, no problems. I had enough complications in my life, and certainly didn't need any more. I felt tricked and threatened. I decided then and there (anger has always been a problem for me) to teach her a lesson she'd never forget. And so began an EA, at least on her part. I wrote her lie after lie after lie after lie. I let her believe that my wife and I were on the brink of divorce, that we were living apart. I let her believe anything and everything that I got the slightest hint that she wanted to believe. After a few months of that (it seemed like forever) I told her that my wife and I had patched things up and I wanted no further contact. (My wife knows about this now. I was afraid she'd leave me when I told her what I'd done, but we have managed to resolve things and are doing well now. I have no idea about the OW and couldn’t care less.) Would I do this again? No, I would not. I created far too much pain for my wife. Do I feel bad about what I did to OW? No, I do not. As far as I'm concerned any pain she felt she deserved, plus more. Link to post Share on other sites
AJS Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 Elmo says....."let me just say that men chase me daily, and always have. Younger men, older men, single, married. I am considered beautiful, and men love me. I LOVE men too...you may have slapped ONE "skanky HO" but what about the millions of other women in the world, are you prepared to slap all of them? " So which street is it you hook on again? LOL, I have to agree with bullhunter on this one. Much love- The Thug Link to post Share on other sites
Astarte Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 I wasn't intending to be bitchy, I was intending to apologize for making people on this forum uncomfortable. I hadn't read the forum description prior to posting. As it was clear that I was getting responses from OW who would probably not be able to understand my point of view, I chose to post on another forum. Why do you have a problem with that? It's not me having a problem... Link to post Share on other sites
silktricks Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 I actually think it's sad when somebody gets pleasure from someone else's pain.. Really.... Well, when a woman is screwing another woman's husband, I'd say that is getting pleasure from someone else's pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Astarte Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Here we go again............. Link to post Share on other sites
elmejor Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 So which street is it you hook on again? LOL, I have to agree with bullhunter on this one. Much love- The Thug You're very confused, AJS. I am not the one who commits illegal acts. That would be you, a wretch who's so worried about someone prettier and younger than yourself taking your happiness away, that you think you were perfectly justified to go to the young woman's house and physically assault her. You were breaking (more than one) law, and your behavior was uncivilized. Insulting everyone here who disagrees with you does not change the fact that you were wrong for what you did. Thinking that a wife has the right to commit battery because she thinks she's "defending her family" is very convoluted thinking. She's lashing out at one whom she perceives as an attacker. Admit it, when we think another person may charm their way into the heart of one we love, it's as much about ego as anything else if we become enraged, and God forbide, start acting out in an irrational manner like you, AJS. (You DO need therapy). It's natural to feel threatened, but it's a normal part of life that everyone must deal with. It does not matter if we are married or not. Everyone runs the risk of losing their lover to another person! It's always been this way. If you must think of me as a hooker, I only ask that you think of me as The Best hooker! Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Thanks erika! Instead of fighting we should all be helping one another. Board friends? Alrighty Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Really.... Well, when a woman is screwing another woman's husband, I'd say that is getting pleasure from someone else's pain. When I was 'screwing' somebody else's H, I wasn't bragging about it. And ya know what? I don't think OW normally are thinking about the pain they're bringing to the W when they're with the MM. It's not like my mindset was 'I'd like to hurt a W today.. think I'll go find a MM to bang. Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 You're very confused, AJS. I am not the one who commits illegal acts. That would be you, a wretch who's so worried about someone prettier and younger than yourself taking your happiness away, that you think you were perfectly justified to go to the young woman's house and physically assault her. You were breaking (more than one) law, and your behavior was uncivilized. Insulting everyone here who disagrees with you does not change the fact that you were wrong for what you did. Thinking that a wife has the right to commit battery because she thinks she's "defending her family" is very convoluted thinking. She's lashing out at one whom she perceives as an attacker. Admit it, when we think another person may charm their way into the heart of one we love, it's as much about ego as anything else if we become enraged, and God forbide, start acting out in an irrational manner like you, AJS. (You DO need therapy). It's natural to feel threatened, but it's a normal part of life that everyone must deal with. It does not matter if we are married or not. Everyone runs the risk of losing their lover to another person! It's always been this way. If you must think of me as a hooker, I only ask that you think of me as The Best hooker! I think everbody needs to stop. I dunno what your problem is Elmejor, but your posts are always very defensive and nasty. I don't think I've seen one post from you where you didn't personally attack somebody. I don't think she attacked the girl so much out of insecurity, but she just felt betrayed. Nobody can really say anything until they're in somebody else's situation. I think people need to knock off the name calling. It's very unneccessary. Wretch.. hooker? I mean, can people not prove a point without name calling? And Elmejor.. why you feel the need to go on about how gorgeous you are is beyond me, it's pointless here. And if I were you, I wouldn't be telling anybody else they need therapy. Link to post Share on other sites
AJS Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 yeah, .....I'm bored with it at this point. Thanks erika, I'm glad you see where I'm coming from. elmejor you are quite entertaining, but very unrealistic unfortunately. Good luck to you and yourself. "Yawn"...... Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 yeah, .....I'm bored with it at this point. Thanks erika, I'm glad you see where I'm coming from. elmejor you are quite entertaining, but very unrealistic unfortunately. Good luck to you and yourself. "Yawn"...... I've thought about it, and yup.. I do kinda see where you're coming from. I don't really agree with it, and *I* wouldn't go that route.. but hey, to each his own. I'm also tired of the name calling and arguing at this point Link to post Share on other sites
AJS Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Ya know erika, I really don't think I would have "went there" if I hadn't felt so close to her. She was with us all the time. My children were very close to her, which my H said was what turned him off from it the most, among other things. You really never know how somebody you love will effect you. I felt so betrayed by her. I did learn from it though, which in the end is all that matters I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Ya know erika, I really don't think I would have "went there" if I hadn't felt so close to her. She was with us all the time. My children were very close to her, which my H said was what turned him off from it the most, among other things. You really never know how somebody you love will effect you. I felt so betrayed by her. I did learn from it though, which in the end is all that matters I guess. That it what matters That's what I say.. I learned my lesson, and would never do it again. Now, my ex-MM, that's a different story.. he's doing it again. Idiot. But I definately learned.. I think that's why I got so hostile, because I was just having issues. I never really got my closure. But that's my problem, and I shouldn't be takin it out on other people really.. Link to post Share on other sites
AJS Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 It's cool, I was defensive too. We are only human. But you know, we have learned and that's what matters most. I did my H wrong, and he really didn't deserve it.... but yet it wasn't about him, it was about me. It all worked out in the end. So how about you? Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 It's cool, I was defensive too. We are only human. But you know, we have learned and that's what matters most. I did my H wrong, and he really didn't deserve it.... but yet it wasn't about him, it was about me. It all worked out in the end. So how about you? I worked with my MM. I was so adamant that I would never be with a MM, but I dunno.. the more I worked with him, the more I fell. I fell for all his crap. Plus I was at a very low point.. very depressed at the time. That's why I was easy prey I'm sure. I did so much for him.. and never got anything back. He was the cook, and I was the waitress. He was such a piece of crap.. that his W would come in to get keys from him, and he'd make me give them to her. He'd make me wait on her and his kids. Ewwww.. And when I got fired, I was in there visiting, and he stopped in. Somebody overheard him saying I probably just want money from him.. so he walked by and threw $7 at me. I flipped out on him afterwards, and that was the last time I saw him. Now I hear he's dating one of my ex good friends. That's bothering me alot for some reason. We've been over for like a year and a half, so I dunno why it's bothering me.. but it is Link to post Share on other sites
AJS Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 OHH erika, what a bastard! Yeah, you have a right to be bitter. Ok, I'm about to be the devil.... I had a great H at one time, fun, sweet, grand to be with. Then one day he turned into Mr boring, I want to do the same thing everyday guy. He ignored me. So I said something. Not once but MANY times. He paid me no mind. Well this guy I met at work had been talking to me alot lately, I liked him, he was NICE to look at...heehee. We hit it off. I told my H I was thinking about having an A with this guy, he brushed it off. I didn't. Well, I couldn't stand to look at my H anymore. Ever see "War of the Roses"? I felt like I hated him. So I moved out. Right from the pot to the frying pan if you know what I mean. OM was wonderful..at first. Then I realised after 3 months that I was making a big mistake. I came home. My H was overjoyed and made me feel like he did when I married him all over again. We worked on it, and now we are very tight. It was a hard road to travel though. Thanks for being so open and sharing erika, that was awesome! Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 OHH erika, what a bastard! Yeah, you have a right to be bitter. Ok, I'm about to be the devil.... I had a great H at one time, fun, sweet, grand to be with. Then one day he turned into Mr boring, I want to do the same thing everyday guy. He ignored me. So I said something. Not once but MANY times. He paid me no mind. Well this guy I met at work had been talking to me alot lately, I liked him, he was NICE to look at...heehee. We hit it off. I told my H I was thinking about having an A with this guy, he brushed it off. I didn't. Well, I couldn't stand to look at my H anymore. Ever see "War of the Roses"? I felt like I hated him. So I moved out. Right from the pot to the frying pan if you know what I mean. OM was wonderful..at first. Then I realised after 3 months that I was making a big mistake. I came home. My H was overjoyed and made me feel like he did when I married him all over again. We worked on it, and now we are very tight. It was a hard road to travel though. Thanks for being so open and sharing erika, that was awesome! Well I'm glad you guys worked it out And you're welcome. I actually had to get it out to someone. Like I said, I just found out he was screwin around again.. and gut feeling says it's my old good friend. I dunno why I'm so mad. It's been at least a couple of years, but I just cried the other day. So frustrating.... Link to post Share on other sites
AJS Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Is he one of those charming guys all the girls like? You know the ones..... Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Is he one of those charming guys all the girls like? You know the ones..... Hmmm.. the thing is he's not all THAT attractive. Not to be mean, but neither is the W.. she's such a sweetheart, but she's let herself go. So he goes for the attractive girls.. vulnerable attractive girls. And he is charming in a way. We worked with a few older overweight girls.. and they all said the same thing to me, 'HE has a way of making you feel like being overweight doesn't matter. He makes you feel good no matter what when he talks to you'. So yea, he's a charmer. He gets people to feel sorry for them, by telling them how crappy his W is to him. HE uses the usual MM lines, 'We don't sleep together anymore, we sleep in different rooms, we're only together for the kids'.. blah blah blah. Link to post Share on other sites
AJS Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Oh yeah, those are the oldies but goodies. They seem to work more than you think don't they?!!! It's always about circumstances in the end. I really believe that. It's just a shame that W/M get played with words. I am an action type of woman, I see it, I believe it. Words don't mean so much without the action that follows. It shows truth in character if you know what I mean. Link to post Share on other sites
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