my friend is going mad

[Vivien]

for almost four years now i have had this weird relationship with a certain guy, call him X. when we met we had this instant rapport, and thought we are both loners, we started being together a lot. he started calling me up several times a day. early on, he had admitted to me that he was bi-sexual. sometimes he would say he's simply gay. yet he proposed to me, asking me to be his "girl". i said no, because i was confused. we continued seeing each other until we were so close he started acting funny. he would verbally abuse me, saying i was ugly, cheap, etc. one instance, he wouldn't let me go to my class and he snatched my book away and wouldn't give it back. suddenly he slammed the book on my face, it fell on the mud and he picked it up again and slammed it back on.

 

my defense mechanism is to ignore these scenes, make him believe i am unaffected, that i am really laughing at him, amused, etc. and so it went on, he still called me everyday. one day he told me in front of an acquaintance not to go near him or touch him. i was humiliated and didn't talk to him the entire day. then after that when i had cooled down, he wouldn't talk to me, said he thought we were too close, too dependent on each other, etc. however, after this, i keep hearing from people that he would ask about me and eventually we "got back together". this viscious cycle has been re[peated three time.

 

i am so very confused. i do not understand why he calls me up everyday and then suddenly backs off, saying we're too close, that he can't stand the familiarity, etc., as if it were my fault.

 

what should i do? completely avoid him? or maybe i should work it out with him---but it is nearly impossible when he is in one of his moods. one week we are perfectly okay, and he would pick me up for lunch, we would walk in the rain, etc., the next he is completely ignoring me again and acting weird. help!!! what do i do? do you think he is going mad? if i don;t get help soon i'm afraid i am the one who will go nutz!!!

[Dee]

for almost four years now i have had this weird relationship with a certain guy, call him X. when we met we had this instant rapport, and thought we are both loners, we started being together a lot. he started calling me up several times a day. early on, he had admitted to me that he was bi-sexual. sometimes he would say he's simply gay. yet he proposed to me, asking me to be his "girl". i said no, because i was confused. we continued seeing each other until we were so close he started acting funny. he would verbally abuse me, saying i was ugly, cheap, etc. one instance, he wouldn't let me go to my class and he snatched my book away and wouldn't give it back. suddenly he slammed the book on my face, it fell on the mud and he picked it up again and slammed it back on. my defense mechanism is to ignore these scenes, make him believe i am unaffected, that i am really laughing at him, amused, etc. and so it went on, he still called me everyday. one day he told me in front of an acquaintance not to go near him or touch him. i was humiliated and didn't talk to him the entire day. then after that when i had cooled down, he wouldn't talk to me, said he thought we were too close, too dependent on each other, etc. however, after this, i keep hearing from people that he would ask about me and eventually we "got back together". this viscious cycle has been re[peated three time. i am so very confused. i do not understand why he calls me up everyday and then suddenly backs off, saying we're too close, that he can't stand the familiarity, etc., as if it were my fault. what should i do? completely avoid him? or maybe i should work it out with him---but it is nearly impossible when he is in one of his moods. one week we are perfectly okay, and he would pick me up for lunch, we would walk in the rain, etc., the next he is completely ignoring me again and acting weird. help!!! what do i do? do you think he is going mad? if i don;t get help soon i'm afraid i am the one who will go nutz!!!

 

I say forget about him.It is obvious he has some problems.

 

Would you want to spend the rest of your life with some

 

one like that? There are just to many other men out there

 

that will treat you right.