Mistaken Identity Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 I've probably posted something similar to this before. Sorry if that's the case. Anyway, my husband and I are separated. He takes medication for schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, and high blood pressure. He rocks back and forth in the evenings, he has restless leg syndrome, and he's pre-diabetic. (He's only 42.) He also loves to drink. Among all of his other problems, he can't--or won't--keep a job. This is unfortunate because one of his prescriptions alone (Zyprexa) costs $600.00 a month! So far, his poor (literally) mother has been allowing him to charge his prescriptions (and also beer, DVDs, cigarettes, etc.) on her credit card. He's hoping to get samples or government aid--but that's at least a few months away. I asked him why he doesn't get a job and he says he's waiting for his medicine to "get back on board." (He was out for a few weeks.) Anyway, I don't want to live like this any more. I can't afford him! Am I wrong to divorce him? We have a daughter who really misses him... Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 My great grandma divorced her first husband because he "wouldn't keep a job". That was during the Great Depression too. These days, a couple might come to an agreement on employment issues. In some families, rather than a Stay-At-Home Mom...you might have a Stay-At-Home Dad. The important part is that the couple makes these financial decisions TOGETHER. That doesn't seem to be the case in your situation. It would seem that you've been left 'holding the bag' in regards to fiscal responsibility. So, yeah.....IMO, I think you are within your rights to divorce him if it will make you happier to do so. I'm not certain that "In Sickness or In Health" would strictly apply in your situation. One might argue that 'mental illness' would fill the bill as "sickness", but it's clearly a treatable condition in which most people can achieve a measure of wellness allowing them to live full lives. You can't be expected to enforce your husband's treatment plan. You're not free to make any of the decisions that might increase his odds of recovery. 'You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink', right? So, if you've done all you could possibly do....then you've done all you can possibly do. You can't make this guy's choices for him. You can only make choices for yourself. I'm sure you're concerned about what your daughter is witnessing. But bear in mind that even though she misses having her father at home, you're setting an example for her on how to conduct herself in the face of adversity when she becomes an adult. So, you might ask yourself....what advice would you give your daughter if she were all grown up and in a similar situation? Then...follow your own advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mistaken Identity Posted January 23, 2006 Author Share Posted January 23, 2006 Thank you, ladyjane. Your last sentence really hit home. I guess I'm an enabler. I feel sorry for him. I'm always ready to sacrifice for him. But he doesn't seem willing/able to do the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts