HopelessOne Posted January 23, 2006 Share Posted January 23, 2006 Ok several months ago I posted here on LS about how I was having issues with my love life. I was told that my posts were oozing with a lack of self confidence and a lack of self esteem. Well it has been several months and nothing has changed. I am 27 years old and the only relationship I have ever had was seven years ago and it was a year and half long. Since then I have only been interested in one woman that I know I can never have. I am starting to think I must have something extremely deep seeded/repressed and it is starting to worry me. I am now under the impression that if I did meet a woman tomorrow that was awesome and everything I wanted, she might want to get married and do the kids things. I want that, but that would utterly terrify me if it was posed to me as in something to do in 2 years. Something tells me I am missing something that I should have learned in my teens but never did and the fact that I am approaching 30 does not sit well with me in regards to this. How do raise your self confidence/self esteem? Everyone says work on yourself, or raise your confidence, but no one says how do this or that... HELP ME Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 23, 2006 Share Posted January 23, 2006 Would you consider going to see a therapist to help sort this out? It seems the issues are deep rooted and there are some things that you need to face, confront and let go of. Here's how to start with the self confidence. Sounds corny/cheesey whatever, but it does work!!! The mind is a very powerful thing and can be tricked into believing ANYTHING. Trust me on this one! During my therapy sessions in the past, my T (therapist) got me to do some homework which consisted of this... 1)Make a list of ALL the accomplishments in your life that you can remember. *This can be about ANYTHING. About helping people, winning an award, getting a raise, goals set that were matched, etc... 2)Make another list of ALL the good things in your life. Family, friends, work, places you've travelled, fun and silly things you've seen and experienced. 3)Make another list of ALL your good qualities. What do you love about you? Take your time with these lists. When you're done, photocopy them (atleast 5 copies of each) and tape them throughout your house. In the bathroom, bedroom, on the fridge, on the bedroom door etc...It's called positive reenforcement! The more good things you see about YOU, the better you will feel about you!! When you aren't feeling well or start to feel down or start thinking too much, stop and really READ what is on the wall infront of you. Over the next few weeks you will feel better. Another thing to do is pick your 3 closest friends and 2 family members. Get them each to write out 5 things they love about you most. Start writing in a daily journal, all your thoughts and feelings. It's just theraputic to do, sometimes you don't know that s*** is bugging you until you write it out. OK, there is YOUR homework Hopeless! And I hope this helps you feel better. YOU can do this! Link to post Share on other sites
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