JustMakeMeBelieve Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Yes, it's a shame to say that men are shallow when it comes to this. If we put on a little weight, they look elsewhere and claim that they aren't in love with us anymore or they are not happy. To them, the grass is always greener on the other side and they are always looking. Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 It depends on the context. If a fellow falls for a woman who's packing a few extra pounds, then obviously there's not a problem. But if a fellow falls for someone who suddenly balloons to elephantine proportions, then of course he might start to feel differently. Does this make the guy shallow? Well, that depends on how you define "shallow." If a fellow happens to be attracted to svelte women, that doesn't necessarily make him shallow, just as a woman who's attracted to tall men doesn't necessarily make her shallow. It's simply a matter of preference. Link to post Share on other sites
honeybunch2k5 Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Guys DO NOT WANT women who look like 10 year old boys. The men I've met love t&a and meaty thighs. Men want women who look like they can have babies. Link to post Share on other sites
Ms_Sweetness Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Model thin is in no way cute. By today's standards I would be considered slightly overweight, but I absolutely love my curves and so do guys. I actually made myself gain a little weight because I thought that I was too skinny, while "the standards" reported me at the top of my "healty weight" range. Just be happy with yourself, it's more comfortable for a guy to cuddle with a girl with a little meat than to cuddle with one who is "model thin" whose bones are poking him. Link to post Share on other sites
Lala7819 Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Self-Confidence is all you need. Most skinny girls are more self-concious than fat girls. In a study done on that matter, it was shown that since overweight girls aknowledge that they are overweight, most concentrate less on little flaws and learn to deal with the fact that they are overweight and come to the conclusion that they are perfect the way they are, and thus the self confidince. On the other hand, some skinny girls concentrate on little flaws since there is no one big thing to pick at, weather it be the big nose, the small boobs, or feeling the need to use alot of makeup to cover up some minute traces of acne. Basically it's a lesson in always being happy with who you are, and no matter if you are fat or thin, everyone can be self consious (though noone should have a reason to be.) But then again, I'm the type of person who is confident in myself no matter what. I never ask 'Does my butt look big in this?" and when (or if) I do say I'm fat, it's a statement, and in no way meaning I think that's a bad thing, or that I am trying to fish for compliments. I never wear makeup, or try to change to fit someone elses mold, If a guy acts like I'm not good enough for him the way I am, I tell him to pack it up and move on cause I only change for myself. All in all, you should learn to be able to look in the mirror, see yourself, and just think 'I'm me, and I'm perfect the way I am' (and don't think about looking like anyone else just to fit the media's idea of the 'ideal' person) Link to post Share on other sites
BlahBlahQueen Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 it's more comfortable for a guy to cuddle with a girl with a little meat than to cuddle with one who is "model thin" whose bones are poking him. See, it's a whole double-standard of who's OK to mock and who's not... Let's put this in perspective. Let's turn that statement around to be pro-skinny instead of pro-fat. "It's more comfortable for a guy to cuddle with a girl without too much meat on her bones than to cuddle one who is "Samoan fat" whose rolls are smothering him." Ahh, but that statement would never fly in today's reverse-discrimination climate, would it? You'd be booed off of LS in a heartbeat... Double-standards = bad. I do not believe in political correctness, but I do believe what's good for the goose is good for the gander... The current accepted belief is "Sexiness comes from the inside... but God forbid you should be bony..." Anyone else notice the irony in this? Either sexiness comes from the inside and it doesn't matter what your body fat percentage is, or the reverse. You are killing your own argument about "sexy is a state of mind". Link to post Share on other sites
consumed Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 I've never really been attracted to model thin girls myself. Link to post Share on other sites
l2hvn Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 i would have to agree with the double standard. i am naturally thin and am blessed to have a very fast metabolism (i'm a size 0 but eat like a pig). people come up to me (mostly on the heavier side) and say "oh, you're too skinny! you should eat more!" it really is annoying sometimes.. it's okay for them to make such remarks but if i say something like "oh, you're too fat!" then i'm the witch... oh, and a co-worker goes to me (she knows i eat a lot) "do you go to the bathroom after you eat?" basically asking if im bullimic. that really irks me. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 being sexy/attractive is a state of mind, regardless of body type. Exactly !! Link to post Share on other sites
l2hvn Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 hey i like my body just the way it is... i don't have a problem being thin. i've always been thin. and i feel attractive being thin. that's me. that's how it's always been my whole life. what irks me is that people think there's something wrong with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Well isn't this a bash the thin woman post! I honestly can't believe some of the comments I've read here about thin women, especially the "skinny skank" comment, but there are many others and I don't feel like going back and quoting people. I would NEVER post something like that about average or overweight people here on LS, or even dare to say it out loud. It's rude and f*cking insensitive, and sounds to me like certain people here despise women who naturally achieve something they may strive for daily. There is a difference between model thin and anorexic. I would consider myself the former. I have a high metobolism that makes it easy for me, plus I weight train at least 3 times a week to maintain some curves. I get cut very fast since I'm so lean. I don't do cardio, because I'd lose weight, and as I near 40 I have a harder time keeping the weight on. I can eat what I want and more, and I look good in a bikini, but does that make me skank? Does it make me more insecure than a person who needs to lose a few pounds? Hell NO, and I resent the nasty remarks. It is a double standard as someone here mentioned. I have friends of all different shapes and sizes, but I don't judge them or call them names because their body type and metabolism is different than mine. But it's okay to steamroll someone like me because I weigh 110lbs? I'm PMSing and this thread pissed me right off! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 I must confess that I hate myself...is this the right forum...?... no STAR2003.... the self-loathing forum is down the hall, 2nd door on the right Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 no STAR2003.... the self-loathing forum is down the hall, 2nd door on the right Take a number. There's a looooooooong line. Hello people! You're all being reactive and slightly scarey to me. I am beautiful to those who find me beautiful. And fugly as hell to those who find me fugly as hell. That doesn't really matter, though. People's tastes are wide and variable as the ocean. What matters is that I find myself beautiful. Riiiiiight? Link to post Share on other sites
Ms_Sweetness Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 I am in no way trying to hurt anyone. I was once "model thin" and I loved myself then, but I was happier once I was able to put on weight. And it was very uncomfortable for my BF to cuddle with me sometimes because it would hurt and is wasn't pleasant for either one of us. I had no intention of upsetting anyone because I'VE BEEN THERE. At one point I was disgusted with all the weight loss craze and wondered why there was no info on gaining weight or no weight gaining programs. So I'm just being honest here, this forum is designed for us to express our opinions and that's what I am doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 And it was very uncomfortable for my BF to cuddle with me sometimes because it would hurt and is wasn't pleasant for either one of us. Then you must have been skin and bones which in my view of things would have been anorexic or near death kinda like Nicole Richie... who is NOT model thin. Tyra Banks is model thin. I've never had a guy complain about hugging me or tell me that I was hurting him. You must have very sharp bones. this forum is designed for us to express our opinions You are absolutely right, Ms_Sweetness, and although you did express your opinion in a respectful way, others here were outright rude under the pretense of expressing theirs. There was also a comment about thin women looking like 10 year old boys. Last I looked I had T&A and nothing dangling between my legs. If anyone ever posted some derogatory comments directed at fat people, that thread would get a ton more attention and posts than this did. Then the mods would delete it. Link to post Share on other sites
barfool Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Ok people. If I offended anyone (which apparently I did) with the skinny skank comment then I am sorry. I was just trying to make the point that a man that will date you because you are skinny is not worth having. Hey, this is why I come to this board anyway. I need just as much help as everyone else. I do not claim to be perfect or to know the answers and I am more than willing to accept criticism. I crossed the line and have been reprimanded. Ok, I'm moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 You must have very sharp bones. or maybe she's dead and posting on LS from the after-life. she must be skeletonized. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 or maybe she's dead and posting on LS from the after-life. she must be skeletonized. Scary thought Link to post Share on other sites
Ms_Sweetness Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Yes, I am the LS ghost (lol). I was not deathly skinny I was 5'3'', about 105, but my hip bones were very noticeable, and so were my shoulder blades. My BF at the time was not so meaty himself so together it made for an uncomfortable cuddle. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starling2003 Posted January 25, 2006 Author Share Posted January 25, 2006 Thanks for all of your comments. I didn't want the OP to cause people to start being negative towards one another. It's just that to me it seems that if a guy has the choice of two girls, and one is thin and one is not, he is going to pick the thin one even though she is a big snob and the other is nice. Media portrays that having a nice body is better than anything else and I have a hard time accepting myself because of this. Link to post Share on other sites
barfool Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 It's just that to me it seems that if a guy has the choice of two girls, and one is thin and one is not, he is going to pick the thin one even though she is a big snob and the other is nice. Like I've been trying to say, if a guy makes that kind of choice then he is not worth having. Link to post Share on other sites
Weye Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 Sometimes I think people are too obsessed with being thin. I don't think girls with aneorexic bony frames are attractive. The media's idea of the ideal body type for a woman is not what most guys are looking for. Link to post Share on other sites
l2hvn Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 there is a difference between model thin/naturally slim and anorexic thin (killer shoulder blades and all). and since we live in a society where the women's average size is a 12, for somebody like me who's a size 0, they automatically think i have an eating disorder, or i use drugs or that we're better than the average women... or we're a "big snob"... whatever... we get all sorts of labels.... we're just as sensitive as anyone else... it's annoying and really ignorant statement! but i try to not let it bother me anymore. look, starling, your bf is with you for a reason. why do you feel insecure? has your bf mentioned something about your body? my guess is probably not... don't try to fix something that's not broken. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyinwaiting Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 I think *some* men prefer skinny women, others prefer curvier women. It's an inidividual thing. Your's obviously loves you, so try not to worry about! Fwiw, I reckon girls are the same. Personally, I'm not really into the thin, slightly feminine , Brad Pitt/Jude Law style appearance that seems popular amongst hollywood males at the moment, but lots of my female friends love it. My own guy has a huge chest and thick arms and legs, and would never get a part on a TV soap, but I think he's sexy as hell (especially when he just picked up the friggin' fridge when we were moving house...) To add to the commentary, though, I do notice a difference in how fat and thin people are treated. I've always been a biggish girl, with broad shoulders, but I've done a lot of sport so I have fought nature and genetics (ancestors who stored food to survive famine...). A few years back, I got quite injured and couldn't work out for a while and I stacked on a lot of weight. I was by no means obese, but I was no longer slim. I noticed the differences. I could no longer shop for clothing at the usual places, men no longer smiled at me (both a blessing and a curse...), sales staff didn't seem so eager to help me, and people spoke louder and used simple words, apparently on the assumption that if I am fat, I must be stupid. I lost the weight and life went back to normal. So, I think I kind of get were the low self esteem comes from for overweight people. Unfortunately, I have no answers to what to do about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Breed Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Lets get one thing straight. The media does not force an image of beauty upon us. Beauty has always been a proportionally aligned face with sharp features, the latter being heavily influenced by fat ratio. Thinner people tend to be better looking in most scenarios. I know plenty of people who were fat in school who now, 5 years on, look stunning just because they lost weight. You can all say inner beauty is what counts but id ratehr have both inner and outer beauty and not lie to myself. I'm not being harsh or anything, just laying down some apparently not so well known facts. Im not saying you have to be skinny to look beautiful, but right now make a list of good looking thin people and then a list of good looking fat people. I bet you struggle more on the latter. Healthy diet, exercise, be all that you can etc Link to post Share on other sites
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