Can a guy stand this if he loves you?

[Star]

For religious reason I have decided not to have premarital sex with my bf, but a few years back when I was younger ( b4 dating him) have had sex with another guy, which I would not have done today if I had a choice.

 

I told him that fact and my religious preference. Can a man take this? Is it that if he truly loves you , he should be able to take it, and if he cannot take this, it means he doesn't love you enough?

[Nika]

Wel, if my girlfriend told me that she used to have sex, and now she decided to become religious when I met her, I would doubt her religiousness in its entirety. I would be slightly offended, because once you have sex, there is no going back , I believe. Some people save virginity till marriage for reasons, but if you ahd sex disregarding this belief, then I guess it is sort of stupid to play a virgin again. I would not stand it. I would understand if you were a virgin, but since you are not a virgin, that's a different story. He will be annoyed if he is normal.

 

Unless he is a saint, he will either break up with you at some point or will not ahve very nice thought in his head before bedtime....

 

Been there, done that

 

For religious reason I have decided not to have premarital sex with my bf, but a few years back when I was younger ( b4 dating him) have had sex with another guy, which I would not have done today if I had a choice. I told him that fact and my religious preference. Can a man take this? Is it that if he truly loves you , he should be able to take it, and if he cannot take this, it means he doesn't love you enough?

[O]

Your opinion, whilst very valid in itself, assumes that people cannot be "born again Christians" with a new found belief that transcends what they used to be. I guess what I mean in plain tems is that your theory does not account for people who have genuinely changed their religious beliefs.

 

For em, maybe I'm more of a romantic in this respect. I like to believe people will change for the better and, if I was ever in situation where my partner refused sex for religious reasons, I would hope that I would respect that decision. Of course, I say " hope" because this is one of those questions that no one really knows the answer to unless it happens to them.

 

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Wel, if my girlfriend told me that she used to have sex, and now she decided to become religious when I met her, I would doubt her religiousness in its entirety. I would be slightly offended, because once you have sex, there is no going back , I believe. Some people save virginity till marriage for reasons, but if you ahd sex disregarding this belief, then I guess it is sort of stupid to play a virgin again. I would not stand it. I would understand if you were a virgin, but since you are not a virgin, that's a different story. He will be annoyed if he is normal. Unless he is a saint, he will either break up with you at some point or will not ahve very nice thought in his head before bedtime.... Been there, done that

[BeenThere]

I think its more difficult for a man to remain abstinent than a woman, although it can be difficult for both. Many young woman give in because they are afraid of loosing the guy they feel they are so much in love with...and that is a very real possiblity. But it shouldn't be an "excuse" to compromise your integrity. If you feel your first time was a mistake...than learn from that mistake and try not to repeatit.

 

Your question; "If he cannot take it, does this mean he doesn't love me" is a difficult one to answer. I'm sure he loves you the best way he knows how (its all relative), but if he can not respect your decision than perhaps love isn't enough.

 

Better question is--If he loves you and therefore you give in, and then he leaves anyway (which I assume happened before)--then can you love and respect yourself? Can you live with more regret? YOU need to come first. Love is about compromise...not sacrifice.

For religious reason I have decided not to have premarital sex with my bf, but a few years back when I was younger ( b4 dating him) have had sex with another guy, which I would not have done today if I had a choice. I told him that fact and my religious preference. Can a man take this? Is it that if he truly loves you , he should be able to take it, and if he cannot take this, it means he doesn't love you enough?

[IAm20HeIs30]

I think it SHOULDN'T matter WHY you don't want to have sex with your boyfriend. He should respect your decision regardless of the reason.

 

Now I say shouldn't because what should happen is ofcourse not always what reality has in store for us. So I say this: its not can a guy stand this if he loves; its can you stand compromising your integrity if you love yourself?

 

So what you had sex in the past. That is indeed the past and a moot (sp?) point. Can't take it back now. If he thinks it makes you hypocritical because you don't want to have premarital sex anymore, well he's entitled to his opinion. Its about accepting each others opinions and faults and being together regardless, if the love is strong.

 

Can I guy stand being a relationship and not have sex? I say yes. My boyfriend is doing that right now. It depends on the person though and their feelings about love and making love. What if you just didn't want to have sex him just because you aren't ready? What if turned out that you were just never ready until you got married? What if you were still a virgin? Would he be able to stand not having sex if it were one of those situations? The bottom line is still the same: you are both living without sex and your decision is being respected. Just because it is religious reasons shouldn't make a difference.

Can a man take this?

 

I think if he loves you and respects you and your opinions then he will take it. Every person is capable of controlling hormones, its just a matter of WANTING to. I don't think its about guys needing sex more then women either. Thats bull. It just depends on the person. If he wants to accept it, he will. And if he doesn't want to accept it, then that is something for you think about. Do you want to be with someone who doesn't respect your opinions? Do you want to be with someone who is ok with you putting aside your beliefs to please him? You have to decide if your opinion is warranted. If you don't doubt your beliefs, then you have every right to stick to them.