Snowy212 Posted January 23, 2006 Share Posted January 23, 2006 Hello, been lurking here for awhile now and finally got up the courage to post about my story. Please bare with me. When I was 20 years old, (now 25) I met a guy that I thought was wonderful. He was kind, careing, consisderate,funny, respectful, fun trustworthy etc. I thought the sun rose and set around this man. I felt very lucky to have him in my life. All my friends and family liked him as well, he was a real charmer. Never would I have imagined in 100 years what I was instore for later on. Everything was great in the beginning, I would say about 7-8 months into the relationship he changed. Or did he? I later on came to terms with the fact this man was the way he was to begin with, and his charming ways, niceness, caring etc, was his weapon to lure me in his messsed up life. It was an act in other words. He became obessed, and all of a sudden I couldn't do anything, go anywhere, talk to anyone ect. Clue one and I should have bolted then. I chose to stay thinking this man loves me and this is why he acts the way he does. I was young and confused love with actual abuse/control. I grew to believe this was the way a relationship was supossed to be. His words to me became hateful, thats where alot of it started in his words. I was suffering from emotional/mental abuse. I was told I was stupid, and worthless and no other man would have me and that I needed to always be with him because only he loved me. The emotional abuse and controling words was bad enough, only later for the physical abuse to begin. I had been slapped, choked, hit upside the head, pushed, shoved, kicked, you name it it was probably done to me. My family/friends became concerned and I confessed what was going on. My folks called the cops on him. I didn't hear from him for awhile and then all of a sudden out the the blue he shows up at a party I was at. He convinced me he had changed.He said he had been to anger management classes, he renewed himself and his spirit he was changed. Guess, what? After some long thinking, which was wrong thinking, I took him back. Two years had passed since I met him, so was now 22 years old at the time. Once again things started out great. I was glad to have back the man I fell in love with in the beginning. Boy was I wrong! About 4 months into getting back with him, I became pregant. He was happy, I wasn't. I was not ready to have a child right now. I was only 22 and he was 24, I was in college getting ready to finish things up there etc, and was looking forward to a good carrer. I had a good strong family suporrt system so I knew that if I had the child people would help me out. I sat down with him one evening to tell him that me being pregant wasn't the greatest timing but maybe it could be worked out. He flew into a rage! I'm thinking I do not understand being that he wanted the child, I'm agreeing to this might could work but yet he flew off the handle. He says to me, "So you don't really want the child?" I told him, I wasn't prepared but the child was infact a reality and we would do the best we could. He was acting irate. I got up and went to the door to leave, I thought I just don't need this right now. He grabbed me and slapped me across the face. So hard that I fell to the ground. I crawled to the couch, got up and sat down asking him why he was doing this. He slapped me again, and yelled at me saying, " If you don't want the child you crazy b*tch, then a child you will not have.!" At that he kicked me, more like stomped on my stomach repeatdly about 5-6 times. Only for him to pick me up call 911 and have me carted off the the hospital. Yes I lost the baby. My parents arrived because they were notified by the doctors. My b/f was no where to be found. My folks called the police and told them what happened. They came to the hospital and questioned me about things but I was really in no shape to talk with them. They later on returned to my folks house and I told them everything. I do not know if they ever found him. After the ambulance took me to the hospital I never saw him again. I don't know if he was arrested, if he took off and went into hiding. If he was dead, or what. I never heard a thing. Here I am at 25, and I'm still haunted by all of this. I live in fear that maybe he is not dead and is hiding and waiting for me somewhere. Waiting for the right time, to maybe harm me, or kill me. Please, if you are in a controling/abusive (It doesn't matter what kind of abuse, abuse is abuse)situation please get out or find some kind of help. Please pay close attention to warning signs that may be there, and do something about it before its too late. Thanks for listening to my story. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted January 23, 2006 Share Posted January 23, 2006 Im very sorry you had to go through this.Glad you got out of it. If your concerned , you could most likely find out what happened through the police departmen. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted January 23, 2006 Share Posted January 23, 2006 I am glad you got out of the situation that you was in and he is no where to be found!! I know losing your baby was hard but everything happens for a reason .. Im sorry for your loss but atleast now he is out of your life for good!! Link to post Share on other sites
Shana Posted January 23, 2006 Share Posted January 23, 2006 Snowy, that was SO sad, I am glad that you are alive and you made it out of there... HUGS to you. It is SO sad to actually read and see how much abuse is out there ... Is there anyway you could see if he is around by google - ing his name or last address, anything? Where is his family? Could you investigate that? I am sure he moved on and you need to, too but I understand how hard it is for you after being through so much. Although in a horrible way, I am sorry you did not have the choice of having the child or not but I am happy you did not have a baby with him, he would never had left you alone then... Link to post Share on other sites
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