Why Do They Do This

[JustMakeMeBelieve]

Here is my scenerio:

 

Recently separated from an 11 year marriage (7 years first round and almost 5 the second) been with him almost 13 years.

 

He began looking on the internet in 2000 and found a way out in 2001 - claimed he wasn't in love with me anymore. Said he had to go and find himself and was renting a room - left his daughter from his first marriage with me - I found out that he wasn't renting a room but shacking up and playing house. I made him take his daughter with him and filed for a divorce. Began dating and he had a cow - the day after the divorce was final he came over and begged to come back - I gave in because I still loved him and believed the marriage could work. He was still in touch with the live in - told her the only reason he came back was because of his daughter's unhappiness and that he wanted her to wait for him becuase he was coming back to her. I took it upon myself to meet the live in and saw for myself the emails and IMs between them. I showed her the new diamond he bought me - she didn't even know about the divorce. He hurt her just as bad as he hurt me. I thought I was the winner but in the end - I was the looser.

 

We remarried that same year on our anniversary and I thought he changed, but in the end he didn't. He was still on the internet looking but being smart so he couldn't get caught. But he did get caught big time in 2004 - in an accident and had the other woman (one of many) with him and almost killed both of them. He lied to her and to others about who he really was and what he was really all about. He ended up in jail and I stuck by him all those months - he got in trouble with the Feds and I stuck by him. The judge gave him probation and told him he had a new chance on life - his new chance was going back to looking and meeting on the internet. Said it was "just a joke" but the joke was on me. Profiles posted all over the place - sick ones too - "Looking for a Discreet Affair - But not Looking to End the Marriage". The profiles contained all the stuff he was wanting to do to and with a woman and he got many many responses. But it was "just a joke to him". Begged my forgiveness and me, like the sucker, took him back once again.

 

And again in October 2005, he is back doing the same, and got caught and begged forgiveness and I the fool, fell for it. Then comes Christmas, a charge on the bank statement for $300 for jewlery at a jewlery store, but not for me. He spends Christmas with his family and leaves me alone. New Years comes and he goes out for the weekend and I am left alone.

 

Then the kicker - he tells me he is not happy and hasn't been happy for years and hasn't loved me for years and wants out. I've got 2 weeks to find a place of my own.

 

I should have seen the writing on the wall - but I was blinded by his lies for years. I was so stupid for believing he could change and be honest. He's torn my whole world upside down.

 

But I still love and I still care. When will the pain end?

[sparkle & fade]

Likely it will take a long time until you feel right again. I can understand and feel your frustration. There is something good that comes from all of this. Your bad experience will help guide you in the right decisions concerning men in the future. Hopefully your perception will be keener, and you will also know exactly when a situation is hopeless. Remember, fun is fun and done is done.

 

You now have necessary tools, valuable ones to pick out liars, cheats, phonies and deadbeats. Use this experience WISELY and learn from this. Embrace your pain and be really really thankful that you are free from such a poisonous person....and good riddance too!!!

 

Enjoy your freedom and embrace your pain…..its the only way you are ever going to learn never to do that again!

[Mz. Pixie]

He did it because you let him, simple.