Something to Ponder...

[BeenThere]

"Love is unconditional."

 

...Is it really?

 

Something I've thought about alot (maybe too much!)

 

I've come the the personal conclusion that this is true only when speaking about a parent's love for a child. It doesn't matter what they do to you, how much they hurt you, or whether they grow up into good people or bad. You love them anyway..."unconditionally."

 

Can the same thing be said of others who have come into our lives?

 

Would love to hear other people's take on this one!

[Tony T]

You are absolutely correct in everything you say. Love, in most cases, is conditioned upon another fulfilling some needs, either obvious or subconscious. Once those needs are no longer there, the love is no longer there either.

 

People fall in love because of the way the love object makes them feel. If the love object no longer makes them feel a special way or they just get used to the love object and those great feelings disappear...it's red alert for love.

 

Romantic love is conditional as hell, unfortunately, but people are scared to death to face that fact. They want to pretend that it just goes on forever and ever. If there isn't a basis for deep friendship and fondness, it ain't going nowhere.

[Ed]

There are many different kinds of love and ways to love. Some love is unconditional and some is not. It depends on the kind of relationship it is and the person(s) doing the loving. There is self love, friendly love, familial love, parental love, romantic love and many others.

 

Each kind of love carries with it certain qualities and boundaries that are not always clear to the lover or the object of that love. What is love to one person is not love to another. Everyone has their own idea of what love is, how to express love, and how they expect love to be expressed or revealed to them.

 

Unconditional love has the premise that love is never withdrawn or withheld. I believe unconditional love certainly exists, but it is hard to prove and even harder to express. What is so mind boggling is that, although some people show love in very positive ways, many have such twisted ways of expressing it. For example:

 

silence, physical affection, being possessive, giving freedom and space, arguing, a smile, leaving, writing, cooking, being jealous, having sex, abusing or putting up with abuse, forgiving, lying, gift giving, getting married, having an affair, being helpful, moving, having children, getting, changing or quitting a jobs, eating foods you don't like, disciplining, etc., etc., etc.

 

As I said before, some people may not interpret some of these things as love, but many times, in some way, the people offering this expression do. It's not one world and it never will be. Just because someone doesn't show us love the way we want them to doesn't mean we are not loved. It's a matter of interpretation.

 

I believe unconditional love is not something someone else gives to us. It is something that, if we apply ourselves, we can learn to understand. There doesn't have to be an expression at all from another person to know its there. It is a feeling that each of us either has or doesn't have. One either accepts it or doesn't accept it. Knowing you are loved, mostly, comes from inside. You give it to and accept it from yourself and/or your God. Hopefully, out of this, comes a responsible, respectful love for yourself that can also be shared with others.

[IAm20HeIs30]

I'm no scholar on love but I think that unconditional love does exist in the hearts of people. If you think you love someone, then it doesn't matter what they do to you, you never really stop loving them. Yes, you may get angry and maybe even never talk again but I feel love is just like any other emotion; you can't just turn it off.

 

I don't know but I think many types of love are unconditional because you can't just all of a sudden stop loving someone. You can force yourself to live without someone, or accept the fact that you must live without someone, but maybe we never really stop loving someone in our hearts. That makes it unconditional love in our hearts then doesn't it? In our hearts, we are loving someone no matter what.

 

From the next person however, the love doesn't appear to be unconditional. If you are forcing yourself to live without someone, then the next person assumes its because you don't love them. Or maybe you love them but you are staying away because of some condition. In reality, sometimes in our hearts we still love them with no strings attached. But its just we are doing something that needs to be done.

 

I think a lot of people mistake our actions. Sometimes a person is just "doing what they need to do" and others misconstrue that as conditional love or even worse, an absence of love. Maybe doing what you have to do doesn't mean you love someone any less or you love them based on conditions, maybe its just that you are doing what is best for yourself.