Why do men continue having sex with their wives while having an affair?

[luckygirl]

Why do men continue to have sex with their wives while having an affair? Even if they are completely in love with their affair and plan on leaving their wife? After he leaves the wife and divorces her, how does the new woman handle the thought that he continued having sex with his wife?

[Astarte]

Men ?

You rather mean one in particular, I reckon.

[TUDOR]

Until such time he does leave my guess is he must keep up the illusion that everything is fine. To stop having sex creates redflags and if he isn't ready to leave her then he will have to deal with the arguments from her on why they aren't having sex.

[blind_otter]

I think a lot of men who stray tell their OW that they aren't sleeping with their wives. I did that when I cheated. I lied to the person I was cheating with, saying I wasn't sleeping with my partner when I actually was.

 

It has to do with a disconnect from reality, I'd wager. Congnitive dissonance causes all sorts of bizarre coping mechanisms to pop up.

 

Also, some people are just pathological liars and actually feel an overwhelming compulsion towards dishonesty. IN fact, pathological liars are so convincing that they very often can pass polygraph tests. They convince themselves that their lie is true.

[mopar crazy]

Why do men continue to have sex with their wives while having an affair? Even if they are completely in love with their affair and plan on leaving their wife? After he leaves the wife and divorces her, how does the new woman handle the thought that he continued having sex with his wife?

I don't know why some men still sleep w/ their W's even if they are having an A, maybe it's b/c they figure if they stop the W's will start becoming suspicious of why their sex life isn't as frequent or has stopped all together.

I honestly don't know about why men D their W's and still have sex w/ them.

 

My H and I were still having sex when he was having an A. After we decided to reconcile the M (after he finally admitted to the A) I asked him how he could write love letter to the exOW telling her he loved her when he was still coming over and having sex w/ me. He told me b/c he didn't really want the M to end and I was also so good in bed he didn't want to loose that either. Typical cake eater at the time. So maybe the W is so hot in bed that the MM doesn't want to stop having sex w/ her.

[lilmoma1973]

 

Probably as just as Tudor said they want you to keep think everything is fine so that you don't question why you aren't having sex.. Mopar makes an excellent point as well he is a cake man and wants his cake and eat it too!!

[Curmudgeon]

1) To allay suspicion.

 

2) Because it's available sex.

 

3) Because they have no intention of leaving.

 

I'm sure there are more.

[BUTAFLY]

Why do men continue to have sex with their wives while having an affair? Even if they are completely in love with their affair and plan on leaving their wife? After he leaves the wife and divorces her, how does the new woman handle the thought that he continued having sex with his wife?

 

*because he loves his wife and the affair is extra sexual activity.

*men don't equate sex with love

*men crave alot of sex with many women as much as possible.

[JayKay]

Why do men continue to have sex with their wives?

 

 

1. Because they can

[quankanne]

Why do men continue to have sex with their wives while having an affair? Even if they are completely in love with their affair and plan on leaving their wife? After he leaves the wife and divorces her, how does the new woman handle the thought that he continued having sex with his wife?

 

 

jaykay says it best: Because they can. A married person in an affair has the best of both worlds, if you think of it. There's a spouse waiting on them, thinking their relationship is just ducky. Meanwhile, the lover has been told who knows what ~ usually some fabricated "truth" about how awful the marriage is, how awful the spouse is ~ and gets suckered in by declarations of "love" and "faithfulness." Honestly? It doesn't look like it's a winning situation for the spouse or the lover, because they're only being told half the story, while the guy (or gal) they're screwing and planning their lives around is getting everything he/she wants.

[Mz. Pixie]

Because they can.

 

If they say they are not having sex with their wives, don't believe it.

[KnowHowLoveFeels]

I think that for men, there is no such thing as bad sex. If they can, they'd like to have sex every day, or twice every day. Unless the OW can satisfy that urge....

[JayKay]

I've posted about this before..

 

 

but I was sorta-friends with a male co-worker years ago who was in an unhappy marriage with two kids and who kept a girlfriend on the side.

 

He complained to me about his 'bitchy' wife and 'clingy' girlfriend. He said sex was unsatisfying with them both.

 

!!!!!!!!!

 

I think he was hoping that I might be his 'extra on the side' woman. I declined.

 

 

Trust me, some men try to get as much sex from as many women as they can and will say ANYTHING to get it!

[silktricks]

Why do men continue to have sex with their wives while having an affair? Even if they are completely in love with their affair and plan on leaving their wife?

 

Maybe 'cuz they aren't.

[Moose]

Here's another question:

 

Why do WOMEN continue to have sex with their HUSBANDS while having an affair??

 

This whole thread is biased against men as if women would never commit such an act.

 

Let's be fair!

[BUTAFLY]

NOT bias, there are posts on here where men ask the same question about women. This is obviously about this womens particular situation.

[Moose]

NOT bias, there are posts on here where men ask the same question about women. This is obviously about this womens particular situation.

I don't see any. Not in this thread anyway.

[reddog63]

Why do you put a gender on question?........it can apply to women just as easy.

[BUTAFLY]

I don't see any. Not in this thread anyway.

 

scroll down and you will see thread titled "does it matter MW is intimate with her husband?" posted by philly dated about a week ago

 

thats just on the first page.

[Moose]

scroll down and you will see thread titled "does it matter MW is intimate with her husband?" posted by philly dated about a week ago

 

thats just on the first page.

This thread, this thread, this thread.....

[BUTAFLY]

it's not in this thread becasue that's not the original topic of discusion. she particularly asked about HER MM sleeping with HIS wife.. so people are responding to that. If it were a man asking about a women sleeping with her Husband we would respond to that.

 

Get it ?!?

[Moose]

Get it ?!?

Oh, I get it....YOU don't! I'm saying this thread is biased. Noone is admitting it, but it's a fact:

Why do men continue to have sex with their wives while having an affair? Even if they are completely in love with their affair and plan on leaving their wife? After he leaves the wife and divorces her, how does the new woman handle the thought that he continued having sex with his wife?

That's all I'm saying. She did NOT make it clear this is her situation. I don't see how you gathered that, it's simply not in there.

 

Women are just as guilty as men for the same crime. So I think before you question why men do it, people need to realize, and understand, that women are quilty as well.

 

All cheaters, man or woman alike, like to have their cake and eat it too.

[wanda1974]

HOW DARE THESE MEN CHEAT ON THEIR GIRLFRIENDS WITH THEIR WIVES?????????????

[Moose]

HOW DARE THESE MEN CHEAT ON THEIR GIRLFRIENDS WITH THEIR WIVES?????????????

:lmao: Good One!

[wanda1974]

Thanks, Moose. I'm not criticizing here with that comment, but think about it. That's exactly what's being said, without saying it. I've been on both sides...I was cheated on while married, and have been with a married man. Both situations suck! All I know is i now need to be with someone who can offer me his all. I refuse to be second best to anyone anymore. It's not worth all the heartache....