Ladies! (and Cassanovas) 3rd date

[amerikajin]

Okay, as some of you have read on other threads, I've been dating a co-worker who is just an absolute bombshell. I think we've slowly been hitting it off but I am now confronted with a combination of feelings as to where I want/expect this relationship to lead.

 

Anyway, before I can really think about that too much, I need help with 3rd date ideas. I've been on many a 3rd date but I've always felt like I've been in the driver's seat and could do whatever the hell I wanted or suggested in most instances. But needless to say, this is a woman who can get any damn guy she wants, whenever she wants...I don't want to f--- this up. If we later realize that we just don't have the same plans or way of looking at things, that's one thing, but I don't want this to fail because I have taken things too quickly or too slowly.

 

Here's the deal so far:

First encounter was a little more than two weeks ago. Went for coffee after work at this very jazzy cafe and she really liked it.

 

First real date was several days ago. Again, we walked around town, visited a revolving sky cafe and then had dinner and later coffee. I think we started to let down some of our barriers a little and get into more of a flowing conversation. And so at work now, I feel things are less tense than they were after our first date. I've been able to joke with her a little.

 

Here's the deal: I think the 3rd date might really be the make or break thing here. What kind of date should it be - a conversation date, or an activity date (i.e. live musical performance at a club, something else). I'm leaning away from dinner because that could make it seem like I'm repetitive, but I still think there are things we need to discuss yet).

 

Suggestions appreciated.

[bluechocolate]

Here's what I used to do when dating someone new. Take them to an art gallery, preferably one with a large modern art collection. It's amazing what you can find out about someone based on their views about art, especially modern art. It can stimualte a lot of conversation with little effort on your part. Of course that entirely depends on whether you're interested in art in the first place.

[loony]

This is not going to be a recommendation on what to do on your date, but I rather think you need to relax. If you don't stop being so excited about this girl you will eventually fail. Don't think that have your feelings compartmentalized so well that you are able to let your nervousness out on LS and when you meet her you suddenly become her cool and confident date. Put her down from the pedestal or you will be in trouble.

[Lishy]

Hey hey hey - Slow down - If this girl could have anyone then she would NOT be single right?

 

You are just as special as she is and stop worrying about impressing her - she will pick up on it and start to think she is too good for you!

 

Just be yourself!!!!!!!

 

Have you considered asking her where she wants to go on your 3rd date?

[JayKay]

How about doing something in a group?

 

Have her meet a couple of your friends and go out and do something with them?

 

I think that when you REALLY are into someone, it's good to see how they get along with the other people in your life.

 

Keep it casual though. Don't make it about, "Hey, my friends are going to check you out and make sure you're the real deal,"

 

Just keep it fun and easy. I also think being in a group takes some of the pressure off you to be witty and engaging.

[Yamaha]

This is not going to be a recommendation on what to do on your date, but I rather think you need to relax. If you don't stop being so excited about this girl you will eventually fail. Don't think that have your feelings compartmentalized so well that you are able to let your nervousness out on LS and when you meet her you suddenly become her cool and confident date. Put her down from the pedestal or you will be in trouble.

 

Totally agree. You need to be yourself and if things don't work out that is life. Don't build her up sp much that you feel anything you do wrong might drive her away. Be relaxed and confident and don't take a mile of her sh*t just because you think she's all that.

[alphamale]

I think we started to let down some of our barriers

whould her bra be considered a "barrier"?

 

I think the 3rd date might really be the make or break thing here. What kind of date should it be

how about a movie, man? it will be dark and you can make your move. which movie you pick will be of utmost importance, do your research.

[blind_otter]

Don't do an activity date. That sucks. I hate going on dates where I have to do something when all I really want to do is get to know the person I'm with.

 

I'm a country girl. So I like cheesy things like hikes or picnics. Movies are only good if I'm in an established relationship. If we go to the movies early on I feel uncomfortable sitting there in silence - feels like I'm wasting time.

[alphamale]

I'm a country girl. So I like cheesy things like hikes or picnics.

great b_0, i just got this mental image of you in a large meadow, eating fried chicken and shooting up smack.

[kitten chick]

I'm going to take it a step further and say that you need to relax and be yourself so make this date an event one, just fun. Don't muck it up with the serious conversations. Just have enjoy each other, you haven't had a fun date yet. Save the serious conversation for the next date. That's just my opinion, what do I know?