Crack Abuse

[amaysngrace]

noclobber, you are very rude to ridicule other's beliefs in God. the belief in God is as old as mankind and is shared with the majority of humans who walk this earth...speaking of which...earth...proof of God. who else could create such a perfect planet with a perfect location in relation to the sun. water....proof of God. a single fluid that human bodies are mainly composed of, yet it is tasteless, colorless and odorless and no living thing on earth can survive without it. every element on this planet is a gift from God. the people in our lives are a gift from God. looking at a starry sky or the vastness of an ocean or the heights of a mountain range make many men find their humility in recognizing there is a force bigger than themselves. this force we refer to is God. please leave this alone now. those of us who believe in God think our relationship with Him is personal...please respect that.

[Poconobob]

So you think I should give his parents a call the next time he hits the pipe...Maybe I should be out shopping and they can just more or less' date=' cruise by the house and knock on the door...He's already told them he's relapsed; just not quite how much he's relapsed.[/quote']

 

 

 

Just think about it, plan carefully what you will do. I personally would at this time in your life take a moment and discuss this with someone close to you who can walk with you through this nightmare. In his eyes he may see you as destroying him and thinking irrationally just as if you'd left him which you didn't and I RESECT THE HELL OUT OF YOU for that. I remember you telling us he said he relapsed but evidently the great liar in him came out because as I recall he got cash for the "jeep" was it? I forget, just I do know that you can do this, it is for his own good. I hope he isn't drinking AND using, please refer to the cocktail using both where he can harm his heart which is what causes a good bit of crack heart and the sudden death that happens. I read up on that...

 

Okay, here goes, first I want to ask you how his parents are? Are they impulsive and wouldn't wait to spring it on him while using? Will they run over and hit him while he is manic? Will they turn tail and be pissed off and not do anything and instead think they are going to cold shoulder him? Just figure out BEFORE doing this what reprocussions would come of this. Doing nothing I know is worst but digging a trench to lessen the bomb and proper planning will make it easiest. PLEASE, also contact Social Services...

 

As I promised before, email me my email is in the profile thingy and I literally would do anything to help. I'll help find social services, whatever... OH and I personally would go to catholic social services or NA or AA and ask questions....

 

The worst part is decisions, after you decide on what to do, it will be the first burden off your shoulders. Walking away is the worst feeling, I know because I had a girlfriend who was an addict for 10+ years and alcoholic too and I too got sucked into the mess and used but she died, I lived and I learned... I wish you the best of luck, and I'm truly here to help, not on a soap box either.

 

I will ask Friday when I go do my volunteer day at the shelter and I know a lady who is a social services person and ... NO WAIT, tomorrow I have my psychological appt... I'll ask my doctor..

 

bob

 

p.s. poconobob64 on yahoo IM for any immediate help.

[Poconobob]

noclobber, you are very rude to ridicule other's beliefs in God. the belief in God is as old as mankind and is shared with the majority of humans who walk this earth...speaking of which...earth...proof of God. who else could create such a perfect planet with a perfect location in relation to the sun. water....proof of God. a single fluid that human bodies are mainly composed of, yet it is tasteless, colorless and odorless and no living thing on earth can survive without it. every element on this planet is a gift from God. the people in our lives are a gift from God. looking at a starry sky or the vastness of an ocean or the heights of a mountain range make many men find their humility in recognizing there is a force bigger than themselves. this force we refer to is God. please leave this alone now. those of us who believe in God think our relationship with Him is personal...please respect that.

 

I sooooooo much want to say something nasty but I won't, I respect this forum too much. Could we PLEASE keep on topic, PLEASE PLEASE... If something is personal and you don't wanna air it, don't mention relationships. I am not here to judge but to help and that is what God would want his little soldiers to do. PLEASE PLEASE

[sassybragg]

Thank you so much!

noclobber, you are very rude to ridicule other's beliefs in God. the belief in God is as old as mankind and is shared with the majority of humans who walk this earth...speaking of which...earth...proof of God. who else could create such a perfect planet with a perfect location in relation to the sun. water....proof of God. a single fluid that human bodies are mainly composed of, yet it is tasteless, colorless and odorless and no living thing on earth can survive without it. every element on this planet is a gift from God. the people in our lives are a gift from God. looking at a starry sky or the vastness of an ocean or the heights of a mountain range make many men find their humility in recognizing there is a force bigger than themselves. this force we refer to is God. please leave this alone now. those of us who believe in God think our relationship with Him is personal...please respect that.

[Poconobob]

Thank you so much!

 

 

Yessssssss thank you so much, no matter what, lets not post here to help

[noclobber]

I am sorry! I didn't mean to offend anyone nor was it my intent to hijack the thread. If I hurt anybody's feelings and/or belief I am really sorry.

 

Let's get back to the main topic. My best wishes to ladywithafan and her loved one!

[Poconobob]

I am sorry! I didn't mean to offend anyone nor was it my intent to hijack the thread. If I hurt anybody's feelings and/or belief I am really sorry.

 

Let's get back to the main topic. My best wishes to ladywithafan and her loved one!

 

 

Now that shows a GREAT PERSON here, you got my respect!

 

Now as for her situation, I thought about it and stayed online too late I might add and needed to defragment the situation. I KNOW so much of what she is going through. The more I think about it, the more I know his parents should be involved so long as they don't jump the gun.... so long as they too are ready to give him the chance to help himself.

 

I'd never abdicate even though I may infer that I WANT or wish someone stay with someone who is using or enabling... I understand all that, I just don't wanna see the guy hurt himself and her have guilt if he does die. Yes it is a possibility he will die if he continues to use, hence the reason I say intervention needs to take place. He obviously has no desire to stop, he is using too much and is numb. It may worsen, he might be hurt, robbed, shot, who knows these days.

 

Self preservation does need addressed though... I'm sorry too for getting gruff.. I just feel the pain. I lived the pain and still somewhat the guilt. I just now am seeing it from a different perspective.

 

sadly,

bob

[amaysngrace]

 

sadly,

bob

 

i'm sorry you are sad. i know what it's like to lose a loved one. my sister passed away last april.

 

about the OP...shouldn't he have medical attention ?

[blind_otter]

it frankly pisses me off... or should I say it did piss me off.

 

bob

 

This isn't your fight, BOB. And you assume too much - you act as if you are the only person who has ever been addicted to drugs, and the only one whose gotten sober. You aren't. And as far as I can see, you do need some help with processing what you went through.

 

I'm sorry if I offended you, but I've learned over the past 8 years battling MY addiction issues with any drug I could get my hands on -- that it is MY fight, and it's not fair to ask anyone to carry this burden but me. I got to this point through MY choices, MY weakness, and I will not drag anyone down into this pit to fight my demons. They are my demons to fight, and I am strong enough to do this now without begging for someone to make it seem ok.

 

I know the horrors I inflicted on myself, on my family, I destroyed my loved ones with my addictions. I destroyed my life. It is MY responsibility to rebuild it. End of story.

 

Addicts are always weak, whiney, begging for help, distraction, it disgusts me now. My own weakness disgusts me. But I use that as motivation to get better -- not only staying sober, but changing my whole lifestyle, friends, surroundings, going back to school....and above all, getting rid of the self-defeating, dependent thought processes that got me into substance abuse in the first place.

 

I sincerely hope that you find your way, but don't project your internal frustrations on other people. It will never make you feel better, and it's part of the deluded thinking process of diverting your attention from what you really do need to attend to.

[Poconobob]

This isn't your fight, BOB. And you assume too much - you act as if you are the only person who has ever been addicted to drugs, and the only one whose gotten sober. You aren't. And as far as I can see, you do need some help with processing what you went through.

 

I'm sorry if I offended you, but I've learned over the past 8 years battling MY addiction issues with any drug I could get my hands on -- that it is MY fight, and it's not fair to ask anyone to carry this burden but me. I got to this point through MY choices, MY weakness, and I will not drag anyone down into this pit to fight my demons. They are my demons to fight, and I am strong enough to do this now without begging for someone to make it seem ok.

 

I know the horrors I inflicted on myself, on my family, I destroyed my loved ones with my addictions. I destroyed my life. It is MY responsibility to rebuild it. End of story.

 

Addicts are always weak, whiney, begging for help, distraction, it disgusts me now. My own weakness disgusts me. But I use that as motivation to get better -- not only staying sober, but changing my whole lifestyle, friends, surroundings, going back to school....and above all, getting rid of the self-defeating, dependent thought processes that got me into substance abuse in the first place.

 

I sincerely hope that you find your way, but don't project your internal frustrations on other people. It will never make you feel better, and it's part of the deluded thinking process of diverting your attention from what you really do need to attend to.

 

 

I'm sorry... part of your post hit home, while other parts, especially the anger issue ISN'T from that but rather from a brain injury I sustained in '98... car accident which I initially was then introduced to depression as I lost my 200K job, got a lousy 150K settlement, was placed on duragesic pain patches which introduced me to the wonderful world of narcotic drugs, subsequently lost my wife, house to real estate sale and lost equity as I had to quick sell it and lost 50K there, subsequently patterned down and internally died but like you said IT PISSES YA AT people who are weak, etc... ME TOO, I gain strength in helping other people.... I gain strength and focus and if nobody else can say they won't ever use, I certainly can. I get sick to my stomach to think "how could I''

How could I let this all happen.... all because what I blamed which was brain injury... my aka crutch... not drugs but brain injury was my crutch... Now, since I am sober to a fault w/o even taking brain altering meds like my Effexor XR which I was on 300mg per day, it is an SSRI... which I was on for 8 years, and Xanax... like candy all prescribed but that IMO doesn't help matters... I 3 weeks ago stopped those and the detox was incredibly hard but you know what??? I'm taking nothing, absolutely nothing!!!! First time in 10 years since I wasn't "on something"...

 

My doctor said I'm not an addict, I was'nt addicted but I was mentally addicted not physically... I sought to escape not to get high... I agree with that cuz I didn't like it most of the time. Initially and as a matter of fact as I sit here and think of "it": as I think, I sorta get a rush remembering... THAT is the part of my brain I hate, WHY would the brain think something is candy when it is so bad? The rush btw is followed by anger at myself.

 

I'm sorry for last evening, I am not a one man battle tank but rather a lost sole swimming in a fish bowl as paraphrased... )

 

bob

[blind_otter]

not drugs but brain injury was my crutch... Now, since I am sober to a fault w/o even taking brain altering meds like my Effexor XR which I was on 300mg per day, it is an SSRI... which I was on for 8 years, and Xanax... like candy all prescribed but that IMO doesn't help matters... I 3 weeks ago stopped those and the detox was incredibly hard but you know what??? I'm taking nothing, absolutely nothing!!!! First time in 10 years since I wasn't "on something"...

 

My doctor said I'm not an addict, I was'nt addicted but I was mentally addicted not physically... I sought to escape not to get high... I agree with that cuz I didn't like it most of the time. Initially and as a matter of fact as I sit here and think of "it": as I think, I sorta get a rush remembering... THAT is the part of my brain I hate, WHY would the brain think something is candy when it is so bad? The rush btw is followed by anger at myself.

 

I'm sorry for last evening, I am not a one man battle tank but rather a lost sole swimming in a fish bowl as paraphrased... )

 

bob

 

It's cool, dude. I understand the reactivity. I also have permanent brain damage, from a seizure disorder. I was on Lexapro, an SSRI, and xanax. I was married and lost my first baby to miscarriage, and got horrible post partum depression. My then Husband put me into psychiatric care with a total QUACK who pushed drugs on me. None of my neurologists at the time could figure out why I was having seizures, but the episode lasted 10 days and I had 10-15 seizures a day.

 

This was after getting clean from ecstasy, alcohol, methamphetamines, and painkillers. My exH was a drug dealer. He's in federal prison right now for growing pot.

 

I was on a cocktail of meds, and after the brain damage had to re-learn everything, even talking (I still have a bit of a stutter. My answering machine message cracks me up because I stutter in the middle of it, no one notices that little pause but me, though).

 

I got off everything myself, but then I started with the cocaine, and back to the alcohol, and painkillers and xanax again. I used the excuse of the loss of another baby during the 2nd trimester. I started using again within days after I went through labor for that baby.

 

I was so f***ed up I went to work coked up a few times. I got fired from one job, and lived off selling drugs, and got a new job for a few months, then just never went back.

 

I've always used drugs to escape, not to get high. I realize that NOW, though, after years of denial. I had a very f***ed up childhood, and PTSD from being raped twice as a teenager.

 

IMO - no addict is using just to get high. We all use to escape from something. Some people know what they are running from. Others never do.

 

But IMO, once you get to the root of why you want to escape, and face your demons, the urge to escape will lessen by leaps and bounds.

[noclobber]

IMO - no addict is using just to get high. We all use to escape from something. Some people know what they are running from. Others never do.

 

But IMO, once you get to the root of why you want to escape, and face your demons, the urge to escape will lessen by leaps and bounds.

 

This is very interesting! Can you please expound on this blind_otter? It may help me to deal with my own demons. I always thought I was addicted to the pleasure of the substance.

[Ladywithafan]

...have that addicted gene in the brain...is it possible to dry out the dopamine/seratonin levels? How much do you have to smoke to be like this? Is it cummulative or does it just depend on your addiction to crack?

 

Like I said, this is the time for medical intervention....there's no other solution at this point. Very hard when you love someone and just see them smoking up everything...

[amaysngrace]

i feel awful for what you are both going through. i agree he should be seen by a medical professional. especially if you suspect damage in the brain. they will be the best at finding out what needs to be done. they can possibly help him, but is he willing to go??

 

 

i'm sorry for my behavior yesterday.

[blind_otter]

...have that addicted gene in the brain...is it possible to dry out the dopamine/seratonin levels? How much do you have to smoke to be like this? Is it cummulative or does it just depend on your addiction to crack?

 

Like I said, this is the time for medical intervention....there's no other solution at this point. Very hard when you love someone and just see them smoking up everything...

 

 

Then Baker Act him.

[Ladywithafan]

i feel awful for what you are both going through. i agree he should be seen by a medical professional. especially if you suspect damage in the brain. they will be the best at finding out what needs to be done. they can possibly help him, but is he willing to go??

 

 

i'm sorry for my behavior yesterday.

 

 

I'm talking chemical damage...that's what I presume...I don't know if he's willing to go...there will be a few choices left soon...the doctor, rehab, or prison...

[amaysngrace]

I'm talking chemical damage...that's what I presume...I don't know if he's willing to go...there will be a few choices left soon...the doctor, rehab, or prison...

 

then i agree with blind_otter. you need to baker act him. he will freak at first but will be glad you did later on.

[Poconobob]

...have that addicted gene in the brain...is it possible to dry out the dopamine/seratonin levels? How much do you have to smoke to be like this? Is it cummulative or does it just depend on your addiction to crack?

 

Like I said, this is the time for medical intervention....there's no other solution at this point. Very hard when you love someone and just see them smoking up everything...

 

 

Foremost with medical damage from a substance, while on it, the PLEASURE release takes more and more, however I don't know once you stop how long it takes to get back. Presumably as it was with me, it took a month before I came out of the fog... then I ironically I stopped seratonin reuptake inhibiting meds aka ssri... and stopped xanax which was harder than the smoke... and two weeks ago, stopped the cigars which if I had to pick one thing that helped me cope, it was cigars to inhale "sensation"...

 

If the intervention takes place soon, and the parents are involved, baker acting WITH THEIR intervention I believe would help... Kind of like how they say it takes a family to raise a child, it helps if all work as a team if not for HIS sake YOURS... you'll have a broad support system and more heads are better than one.

 

IMO... you are s stong strong woman, you should be proud of your actions even if you don't do anything, YOU CARE, YOU DON'T USE... and that is admirable.

 

bob

[Poconobob]

I'm talking chemical damage...that's what I presume...I don't know if he's willing to go...there will be a few choices left soon...the doctor, rehab, or prison...

 

 

ULTIMATELY the bitter truth about choice is if he doesn't make one, his body, the law, or a thug will make it for him. God that was hard to write!

 

At this point, I wouldn't worry about the what if... as in brain injury, I'd worry more about the heart from crack not the brain.

 

I saw my doctor... I asked him about this and all he said was YOU have to not live like this and what he does is not going to change unless his environment changes and cash runs out. You have to ask yourself why you stay with him, is it love, or is it pity. Just keep in mind his point of view that you always have to look out for number 1.

 

bob

[Ladywithafan]

ULTIMATELY the bitter truth about choice is if he doesn't make one, his body, the law, or a thug will make it for him. God that was hard to write!

 

At this point, I wouldn't worry about the what if... as in brain injury, I'd worry more about the heart from crack not the brain.

 

I saw my doctor... I asked him about this and all he said was YOU have to not live like this and what he does is not going to change unless his environment changes and cash runs out. You have to ask yourself why you stay with him, is it love, or is it pity. Just keep in mind his point of view that you always have to look out for number 1.

 

bob

 

 

As for why I stay, I love him, he loves me...

 

I asked him if he wanted to see an addictions therapist and he said, yes, why didn't I think of it before..well.....when one of you is smoking and the other one is having a cocktail...you can only imagine....

 

So I called a doctor, made an appointment for next month, he has to pay for this apt...not me...and he is back to work....

 

I have immersed myself in some volunteer work that I have coming up starting this weekend and just need time to get out of the house & be somewhere else...

 

He said he doesn't know why he does it...it's not his childhood, parents, me...seems to be cluesless...my guess, learned response to boredom...I know why I got high...just because I could and I wanted to see if I could figure him out....well that didn't work because, it just doesn't....but yes, keeping cash away sounds like a good idea, but if you want to smoke there are ways around that...I've seen him in action...doesn't need money, just a front then you know who ends up bailing out...

[amaysngrace]

So I called a doctor, made an appointment for next month, he has to pay for this apt...not me...and he is back to work....

 

i am happy to hear he is getting help. that's step #1...saying there's a problem. i'm glad your hard work and devotion is paying off. i hope things will be better for you both real soon.

[Poconobob]

As for why I stay, I love him, he loves me...

 

I asked him if he wanted to see an addictions therapist and he said, yes, why didn't I think of it before..well.....when one of you is smoking and the other one is having a cocktail...you can only imagine....

 

So I called a doctor, made an appointment for next month, he has to pay for this apt...not me...and he is back to work....

 

I have immersed myself in some volunteer work that I have coming up starting this weekend and just need time to get out of the house & be somewhere else...

 

He said he doesn't know why he does it...it's not his childhood, parents, me...seems to be cluesless...my guess, learned response to boredom...I know why I got high...just because I could and I wanted to see if I could figure him out....well that didn't work because, it just doesn't....but yes, keeping cash away sounds like a good idea, but if you want to smoke there are ways around that...I've seen him in action...doesn't need money, just a front then you know who ends up bailing out...

 

 

Alright, step one is getting the appointment...

 

Start making a list with him what he likes and dislikes about his life OTHER than using. Some change in the list should start immediately as in ... well, sleep for example, he should for example begin increasing the amount of sleep, decreasing the other time, EXERCISING as in taking a walk. OH... his party room, it will DEFINITELY need changing, totally changed. I mean when his usage stops, the room will haunt him since he spent countless hours there... I know a few people who had to move, when I think back about where I was used to using, I cringe. I had a beautiful home, and I want to note, I dare say HAD... The past year was not beautiful, the room was a master br and it is even hard to think about it to type these few words.

 

You getting away is good, very good... his use was probably full throtle while you were out, am I right?

 

OH... with the cash, IF he knew he wouldn't be bailed out, then what would he do?

 

You will be flooooooored once he stops ... you'll have sooooo much money. I still just wonder how I went through thousands a month and lived to tell the tale and STOPPED by moving away from the source and not going there to find more. I still can recite all the contact numbers...

 

I gotta go walk the hound, he is wimpering and I can't wait when he wimpers...

 

)

 

bob

[Ladywithafan]

Alright, step one is getting the appointment...

 

Start making a list with him what he likes and dislikes about his life OTHER than using. Some change in the list should start immediately as in ... well, sleep for example, he should for example begin increasing the amount of sleep, decreasing the other time, EXERCISING as in taking a walk. OH... his party room, it will DEFINITELY need changing, totally changed. I mean when his usage stops, the room will haunt him since he spent countless hours there... I know a few people who had to move, when I think back about where I was used to using, I cringe. I had a beautiful home, and I want to note, I dare say HAD... The past year was not beautiful, the room was a master br and it is even hard to think about it to type these few words.

 

You getting away is good, very good... his use was probably full throtle while you were out, am I right?

 

OH... with the cash, IF he knew he wouldn't be bailed out, then what would he do?

 

You will be flooooooored once he stops ... you'll have sooooo much money. I still just wonder how I went through thousands a month and lived to tell the tale and STOPPED by moving away from the source and not going there to find more. I still can recite all the contact numbers...

 

I gotta go walk the hound, he is wimpering and I can't wait when he wimpers...

 

)

 

bob

 

 

Just re-read your post...The Sarasota Film Festival was fantastic! I met the director, Michael Tully & star, Damian Lahey, of Cocaine Angel...go to website "cocaineangelmovie.com" and that was exactly what I wanted...did a number of big glamourous parties and made a new girlfriend as well...just wanted "I" needed for me...get back to what makes me smile! People who are living, breathing and doing!

 

Ok...as for my man...still partying...yes, when I came home one night, opening night, he was smoking.

 

His son came in to town to visit...some friend of his stopped by & you know what...I was at the beach & came home to that guilty look...I told him he was a sick f*ck...and left...it was too much for me....went & had a beer with my girlfriend...

 

He has changed the rooms around & is ready to put his weight bench in. The party room is no longer the party room.

 

I went to cash a check over the weekend, checked my account & was under $200...no big deal; I realized that I had paid the bills & went shopping so that I would have it way down...took the $, put it away at my job & told him we were flat broke due to him....I think I hit home there...we've been to this spot before...remember he's been "depressed" for nine months now...I told his parents that I would no longer be able to support him the way things are...there's got to be a change...I can carry the bills on my own...have been..but don't want to see him on the couch w/espn on when I come home after an 8 hour day...not right.

 

So, I am continuing to get together with my new girlfriend who's a blast..do fun things & look into more volunteer opportunities that will get me out of the house & doing something good for others as well as ourselves.

 

I will bring up the "LIST" idea after his son leaves...

 

Any other thoughts on this? He needs to get a job...I love him & don't want to throw him out but he's not leaving me much choice...

[Guest]

Just re-read your post...The Sarasota Film Festival was fantastic! I met the director, Michael Tully & star, Damian Lahey, of Cocaine Angel...go to website "cocaineangelmovie.com" and that was exactly what I wanted...did a number of big glamourous parties and made a new girlfriend as well...just wanted "I" needed for me...get back to what makes me smile! People who are living, breathing and doing!

 

Ok...as for my man...still partying...yes, when I came home one night, opening night, he was smoking.

 

His son came in to town to visit...some friend of his stopped by & you know what...I was at the beach & came home to that guilty look...I told him he was a sick f*ck...and left...it was too much for me....went & had a beer with my girlfriend...

 

He has changed the rooms around & is ready to put his weight bench in. The party room is no longer the party room.

 

I went to cash a check over the weekend, checked my account & was under $200...no big deal; I realized that I had paid the bills & went shopping so that I would have it way down...took the $, put it away at my job & told him we were flat broke due to him....I think I hit home there...we've been to this spot before...remember he's been "depressed" for nine months now...I told his parents that I would no longer be able to support him the way things are...there's got to be a change...I can carry the bills on my own...have been..but don't want to see him on the couch w/espn on when I come home after an 8 hour day...not right.

 

So, I am continuing to get together with my new girlfriend who's a blast..do fun things & look into more volunteer opportunities that will get me out of the house & doing something good for others as well as ourselves.

 

I will bring up the "LIST" idea after his son leaves...

 

Any other thoughts on this? He needs to get a job...I love him & don't want to throw him out but he's not leaving me much choice...

 

 

 

GOOD FOR YOU! Looking after #1 will give you ideas on viable alternatives and additional solutions.

 

I FIRMLY believe he gets sober while under the influence and wants to change while f'd up but once he comes down, the story changes. And to further the negativity, look at his circle of friends? baaaad BAD thing having those people accessing him. I personally wouldn't allow them around no matter what.

 

As for his son, GOOD response. Was his son THERE while doing drugs?

 

Wow, I was gonna go to the film festival but got pulled the other way up here in St Petersburg w/family obligations.

 

The next step is one which I myself sometimes have trouble dealing with and that is happiness, get his endorphines moving, exercise though probably not easy to get him to do, SOMETHING, I don't know what would give a rush.

Think about it, what would he be afraid of yet cool with the idea of trying? I recently did my first cave dive and I was soooooooooooo scared but the rush was intense, and I mean intense. It easily replaced the craving I have once in a while when I awake from a bad dream about you know what.... I hate those, I occasionally have them but they aren't obsessive.

 

He needs to basically start to construct a life from every aspect of it. I fear if he gets a job, it will be a let down for both him AND the employer. But, he can do something, how about doing a temp job from one of the various temp agencies and do a DAY a week.

IS he good with Home Improvement stuff? Then I know for example Lowe's, Home Depot will allow you to work one day a week or two days a week part time... Another job is Fed X hires without ppeee pee tests but the job is from like 3 in the morning to 10 in the morning, I know this cuz my son does that then goes to college after work. Hmmm, where else?

 

One step at a time but emphasis on the first step, with anything worth having, the first step is typically the hardest...

 

Short term goal needs to be a complete room by room cleaning, followed by his list of goals being addressed daily, and his knowing he cannot go to the parents for bailing out... (ya, me too) and knowing he could be alone if his actions don't stop.

 

DID you read the last sentence? He needs to know this is insane and you cannot take it the rest of your life or his but you'll stick beside him IF he'll not only try but succeed. I'll tell you, it isn't easy when you are used to being screwed up, it is your vehicle for happiness. My plight is harder because I used once but that once was consecutive for over 6 months at 300-500 per day. OUCH, I won't do the math.. Then I stopped and moved immediately from that location to my current... I planned it but didn't stop until literally the last minutes before I left for good and when I did leave, I tossed the stem into the woods, closed the car door, and drove here to florida and started my new life and thus far I have not looked back. Don't let anyone tell you that you'll stumble cuz for me, NO WAY will I allow myself to use. The horrific thought of being destitute, no where ot go, no huge bank account anymore, credit from perfect to shot out....and literally having to work triple time, pay triple to credit companies, and plead with them to listen to your plight. I did all that and it has only been since November '05 and I have a long way to go but my point of telling you this is I DID IT ON MY OWN after coaxing by mom...I sold everything, did every scam known on the parents even saying I needed to buy a vehicle as my vehicle is crap and dying... Never letting on that in fact I SOLD my truck which was paid off, used the cash, and was behind on my RX-8 payment! Never told that I sold my $2500 laptop for $600, never told anyone I sold my HD television, and as I type this, it gives me conviction to say ...

 

I am here for you guys if you need me to help talk him into sense!! I only wish you guys could see my doctor, he is the absolute best of the best, a psychologist. Hey, look him up, pm me if you want it. He isn't the typical doc, he has a temper and cusses and gets into making you see the light of how stupid you were.

 

 

But anyway, the recurring thought will be, perhaps just once I can use and get that smashing high and then I'll stop. NOOOOOOOOOO you won't stop is what he'll have to realize and that thought elimination by immediatly changing what he is doing that particular moment when he had the thought and eliminate it by leaving the house for a walk, swimming, eating, whatever to replace the thought.

 

I hope I gave ya one idea out of my post, hope it wasn't too long.

 

bob

[Poconobob]

The last POST was mine, I forgot to log on... brain dead bob out...