Poconobob Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 ....put others before me (...low self esteem issues, definitely...)x-husband, children(but that's a necessary #1 to me), boyfriend... And, I'm feeling good about what I'm doing so it naturally carries over into my daily activities! COOL... I'm glad you did something else for yourself. I can drink a beer by the way without finding it compulsive. I had a couple at Applebee's yesterday with dinner and left it at that, came home, went to sleep, no problem. I found keeping busy ALWAYS helps so if you can convey to your BF that doing anything especially sitting around is bad... so do anything to keep busy, you'll be so much better for it. Forgive me, I'm so tired, I hope that made sense. Night.. bob Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ladywithafan Posted April 27, 2006 Author Share Posted April 27, 2006 COOL... I'm glad you did something else for yourself. I can drink a beer by the way without finding it compulsive. I had a couple at Applebee's yesterday with dinner and left it at that, came home, went to sleep, no problem. I found keeping busy ALWAYS helps so if you can convey to your BF that doing anything especially sitting around is bad... so do anything to keep busy, you'll be so much better for it. Forgive me, I'm so tired, I hope that made sense. Night.. bob You know, I did this thing with my girlfriend out in Sarasota called "3rd Thursday", every 3rd TH, they have band on the water down by the Ringling Museum of Art, food/drinks & people...only a couple of hours but just enough to get out & relax...I had 2 drinks....that was it...and drove home; everything cool......so I know that is a situation I can control...i.e. social drinking... But...I will no longer agree to get relaxed and allow myself to be taken advantage of & get into the "social crack" situation....my boyfriend uses the drinking to soften me up...no more... Bob, I loved the meeting...again, this evening, is the second one of the week...and I will be returning.... I talked with my mom (almost 81 years young) and she is so happy I'm doing this for myself...my father, I think I've mentioned, was an alcoholic, but a functional one...did the 3 martini lunch, never drove, mom never drank, he died when I was 2 1/2, but...my mom did live with that experience....as did my boyfriend with his father....so when you put all those issues into my current relationship....BOOM! there's lots of stuff to deal with...maybe the reason my bf gets high...or at least one of them...family stuff, ya know? Keeping busy is the answer...meeting tonight...helping a friend move tomorrow after work...then maybe a movie...either w/bf if he wants to join me...or if he's into xyz....then I will do abc...just keep away, whatever it takes...getting my hair done early Sat...and plan to have nice weekend at the beach...hope it's going to be a sunny one; with the red tide gone, it's just like paradise, once again! Again, thank you for the support & suggestions, it's taking effect & I'm sleeping better already... Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 COOL... I'm glad you did something else for yourself. I can drink a beer by the way without finding it compulsive. I had a couple at Applebee's yesterday with dinner and left it at that, came home, went to sleep, no problem. I found keeping busy ALWAYS helps so if you can convey to your BF that doing anything especially sitting around is bad... so do anything to keep busy, you'll be so much better for it. Forgive me, I'm so tired, I hope that made sense. Night.. bob Dangerous game. Huh. I can drink, too, and not every time is bad. But it's like playing russian roulette, IMO. Addicts are addicts, and its' a slippery slope back down to degredation and addiction. Link to post Share on other sites
Poconobob Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 Dangerous game. Huh. I can drink, too, and not every time is bad. But it's like playing russian roulette, IMO. Addicts are addicts, and its' a slippery slope back down to degredation and addiction. My recollection of the past is like a surreal vivid nightmare but I honestly don't drink to drink, I have had two cans 1liter of heine in the fridge and have not touched 'em in over a month. I never mixed the two anyway, I just did the other full bore for those months, never EVER used it before, granted didn't stop in between but never used or tried it before. Unfortunately once was enough to compulsively use for months and months. I used to socially smoke pot but that was like 10 years ago. So ya, I use but alcohol to me isn't a fun way to get high. I don't like the feeling of being drunk. I do however like the relaxation once in a while of a beer. Is that so bad? I will ask my doc today, I'm pretty sure he'll leave it up to me... I do understand the roulette you speak of, I certainly would say that I couldn't be in a situation where it was around me and had to try it once and not continue... nooooo I'd use then. But I don't drink enough nor did it make me think of other things, as a matter of fact, I fell asleep really really early that night for a change. Gosh sobriety sometimes is hard, huh... I'll not buy any more beer, after all, it is fatening too... ) bob Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 For me, I tend to get weak if I've had alcohol. So if the opportunity presented itself I would be MUCH more likely to give in to temptation. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 I thought you were supposed to admit that you were powerless in the face of your addiction and give your will over to God to help you find the ability to learn how to be sober. And if there's no god? Or if there is, does that mean atheists can't quit addictions? Come on. I agree with the posters who say you can't really influence it. All you can do is hope he hits rock bottom, because that's all that can really shock someone out of a strong addiction. The change has to come from within the addict, not be imposed from outside. Jail, or a close brush with death, are really the only things likely to change it. It would be better to stay away from this guy until if and when he turns his life around for good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ladywithafan Posted April 27, 2006 Author Share Posted April 27, 2006 For me, I tend to get weak if I've had alcohol. So if the opportunity presented itself I would be MUCH more likely to give in to temptation. ...the weakness says, "ok, yes you can take the car..." If bf doesn't answer the phone and is gone more than an hour, I assume that it involves crack, my car, my $ and my depleting sanity...which by now, I would numb with alcohol....so you see...I create my own problem...which I'm really starting to get...(why'd it take the light bulb so long to go off? I don't know...just tried to stay numb for as long as I could...I guess...)... Therefore, saying no to anything alcohol related is necessary for me in my situation as well so that I don't "give in to temptation." :cool: Link to post Share on other sites
Poconobob Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 ...the weakness says, "ok, yes you can take the car..." If bf doesn't answer the phone and is gone more than an hour, I assume that it involves crack, my car, my $ and my depleting sanity...which by now, I would numb with alcohol....so you see...I create my own problem...which I'm really starting to get...(why'd it take the light bulb so long to go off? I don't know...just tried to stay numb for as long as I could...I guess...)... Therefore, saying no to anything alcohol related is necessary for me in my situation as well so that I don't "give in to temptation." :cool: For me, the haunting notion would be using again and ruining my life LITERALLY hitting bottom was a good thing.... I noticed I only will have a drink when I'm out with friends and limit it to only dinner drink, and the last time I had a beer in the fridge was when my ex came over for dinner. That was over a month and a half ago. To me, one never has been a vehicle to the other... just one for one...what started the crack, was soooooooooo stupid, my gf bought it, I ended up giving her money, once I said this is stupid to give her money and get no benefit from it, they are all happy and I'm the sober one... duhhhhhhh now in retrospect, the smart one was the one who said NO. bob Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 why waste your valuable life helping someone who cannot think straight enough to be thankful that someone cared enough about them not to rid the world of thier behaviour ,Permanently. our society maybe should let go of the vigilanties long enough to straighten the whole mess up and go from there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ladywithafan Posted May 17, 2006 Author Share Posted May 17, 2006 because I smoked crack straight for two years & then some & I didn't lie, rob, cheat, steal, etc......there are varieties of crack users, just are there are of stereotypes...I don't want to get religious but it kind of goes with Christ died for your sins...genre...well, some crackheads are worth giving a damn about... Link to post Share on other sites
Poconobob Posted May 21, 2006 Share Posted May 21, 2006 because I smoked crack straight for two years & then some & I didn't lie, rob, cheat, steal, etc......there are varieties of crack users, just are there are of stereotypes...I don't want to get religious but it kind of goes with Christ died for your sins...genre...well, some crackheads are worth giving a damn about... Oh hell ya I agree... bob Link to post Share on other sites
confusedinIN Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 bob...so you are a recovering addict???? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ladywithafan Posted July 18, 2006 Author Share Posted July 18, 2006 My bf started working on May 1st and has been doing side painting jobs as well as cleaning condos where I work. He started back giving me 3/4 of his paycheck every week for bills & such. He hasn't quit yet. Once, again, he has come to me to help him...Poconobob...I found that number of your doctor; time to call. My bf doesn't have insurance...I do...could you tell me a little bit more about what he specializes in regards to addictions? Link to post Share on other sites
Poconobob Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 bob...so you are a recovering addict???? I think there is too much emphasis on the terms recovering and addict... There is a segment of the population that abused and woke up and said; wow, if I keep doing this I'll be broke and I'll be even worse off dead! That was me, I used after my gf died; I had used a few times since but not a daily thing. The I woke up! Lets clear up some things about "it": It isn't that people lose sight of being a human being.... and crack isn't a poor mans drug, that too is not true, it is actually very expensive considering some binges at 300 bucks in a day is not exactly cheap. Ummm, lets see, oh ya, not all, in fact a great majority have jobs, houses, cars, but with long term usage end up on the street after they sold their posessions to feed the need. It is only those who wake up or are woken up that last. Some hate it, I mean hate it because it makes you do things that last for days afterward. Sleep, you don't sleep for a long time then you lose the sleep cycle, you have a nasty taste in your mouth that you can't get rid of when you run out. Speaking of running out... that sucks too. l can say if you are an addict per se, you go and go and go and the first thought of the day is how to get the next high... And those who abuse think of what they've done, very sad feeling and regret BUT the thoughts enter and they eventually abuse because it is hard to live with themselves. Then there is the escapee, that person just wants to get high, can wake after a use and go to work, live a lifestyle of ups and downs. This is just my opinion... so to ask what I am? Well, I'd have to say I'm a expert on the subject from short term but granted a hell of a ride downhill .. . only to awake, turn my life around and desire to do the same for others in need. Will I EVER use again, I can say NO WAY. I like having nice things, being able to carry my Visa Platinum without thinking of tapping it or using the ATM or even being able to carry a few hundred dollars, I for a while didn't do any of the above, I carried less than 50 bucks always, I carried no credit cards until I paid off the balance I racked up. BTW, I had to pay 1000 a month towards my visa in order to pay it off in 7 months, ya do the math! ouch... bob Link to post Share on other sites
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