Old "friend" suddenly "back in my life"...now that I'm dating her old crush.

[mintjulep]

I didn't know what forum to put this in, so I took a stab and decided here.

 

I recently began dating a boy who has been a friend for a few years. He started out as a friend of a friend, but we grew closer after most of the group graduated from college and moved away. We were among the small handful that stayed behind. Due to fortunate circumstances, I found myself single when I realized the impish schoolgirl crush I'd had on him a year before was...well, a real, not so schoolgirl desire to become more than friends. He felt the same way (though it took ages - and much patience on my part - for him to get there), and we decided to give a relationship a shot.

 

Here comes my quandary. Another girl in my group of girlfriends (read: not his friend, but mine - it's like playing six degrees ) was very into him a year and a half ago. We did our best to set them up, but she was too into it, believed they were headed somewhere, and was just completely crazy about him (I mean in the cute way - except they only went on two or three dates)...and he simply did not feel the same way about her.

 

It crushed her, but she started dating someone else almost a year ago. She seems happy, but once she was burned by the guy in our group, and once she was no longer single, she sort of pulled the classic girl friend no-no, and fell off of the face of the earth. In light of that, I saw no reason to discuss my feelings about my guy friend with her because...well, even if she cared, I didn't really want to overcomplicate things by letting her think I was "asking permission" to date someone she hardly knew after having had no contact with her for months upon months.

 

I was waiting for her to say something once he announced on an online forum, of which we are all members, that we were dating. But a month and a half went by with no word from her. I even emailed her a knitting pattern that reminded me of her, with no response. I should have known better. The second I let my guard down, she asked me, "whoa lady whoa...are you really dating [H]?" My response irked me, because it was somewhat apologetic, but her response irked me more because it acknowledged the apologetic tone of mine and made it sound as though she were brushing something off.

 

Now, through AIM and various websites, she has found my personal blog and I've noticed a few hits from her lately (the IP paper trail led to her, and she's never visited before the relationship came to her attention). I keep most of my posts private, and I'm not embarrassed of anything posted publicly, but the reason I'm on LoveShack today is to inquire:

 

1) Is this behavior normal? I think it is. I would check the blog of an [ex?]friend if she were dating someone I was totally into a year and a half ago. But you, l-shackers - what do you think? 2) Is there anything I can do? I don't want to hurt her further, but I'm head over heels about this boy and don't want to censor my writing, or apologize for being happy. Note that she isn't trying to communicate with me/our other friends, she's just reading my blog.

 

Any insight would be appreciated, even if you just want to share a similar story.

 

I mostly wanted to get this off my chest.