What should I do?

[Angelica]

I have been having phone sex with an UK guy I met on a chat room since Feb this year from cybersex to phone sex. We can not stop calling each other at least three times a week, and no less than 2 hours each time. More we do, more we fall to each other. He wants to come to US later this year, should I meet him? Meanwhile, my boyfriend knows nothing about this and I feel really guilty.

 

What should I do?!?

[Tony T]

I don't buy that crap that you feel guilty about this. If you did, you wouldn't keep up this phone sex stuff with a total stranger.

 

Break up with your boyfriend. He's obviously not doing anything for you. It's brutally unfair to him that you should be enjoying phone sex with a total stranger who lives in another country across the Atlantic for two hours at a time and at least three days a week. To me, that is cheating just the same as if the two of you were together.

 

And yes, have your guy over and see if the real sex is as good as the phone sex. Chances are excellent that he's short, fat and very ugly and the two of you deserve each other. But that doesn't mean the sex won't be great.

 

To be very blunt, I think you have some problems that need exploring by a psychologist or other counsellor. There's just something wrong here...a female with a boyfriend...frequent phone sex with a stranger overseas...big long distance bills, etc. Feelings of guilt (yeah, right!)

[D]

There is so many stupid and sick people in this country right Tony?

 

)

 

I don't buy that crap that you feel guilty about this. If you did, you wouldn't keep up this phone sex stuff with a total stranger. Break up with your boyfriend. He's obviously not doing anything for you. It's brutally unfair to him that you should be enjoying phone sex with a total stranger who lives in another country across the Atlantic for two hours at a time and at least three days a week. To me, that is cheating just the same as if the two of you were together.

 

And yes, have your guy over and see if the real sex is as good as the phone sex. Chances are excellent that he's short, fat and very ugly and the two of you deserve each other. But that doesn't mean the sex won't be great. To be very blunt, I think you have some problems that need exploring by a psychologist or other counsellor. There's just something wrong here...a female with a boyfriend...frequent phone sex with a stranger overseas...big long distance bills, etc. Feelings of guilt (yeah, right!)

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "There is so many stupid and sick people in this country right Tony?"

 

No, actually I think there are stupid and sick people all over the world. Sadam Hussein and Momar Khadafi probably top the list...but there are others.

[Miss Mojo]

hi angelica,

 

i have one question for you....if you "feel really guilty" about betraying your boyfriend, then why the hell are you continuing these net chats and phone calls? that's pretty selfish don't you think?

 

chances are that this guy is a total freakazoid in reality. step out of your situation for a moment and look at it for what it is...a guy and a girl e-mailing each other FOR SEX. guy is probably thinking, "gee, can't wait to go on a holiday to the u.s. and shag this chick". he probably has very little respect for you as a person. he probably views you as a sex object.

 

i feel you are treading on dangerous ground here. to have cyber sex and phone sex with someone you don't know from adam is damn freaky. you know you're not a dangerous psychopath, but how the hell can you be guaranteed that he's not??? psychopaths, just like anybody else, have their ways of building up "trust".

 

sure, this guy may not be a weird-ass at all. but you can't be falling for each other romantically when this "relationship" so far is based purely on sex. you're falling for a fantasy object. who's to say that if you've seen his picture, it's really him anyway? you're probably not the only girl he's cyber-screwing.

 

either:

 

a) dump your boyfriend and spare him some deceit;

 

b) dump your cyber boyfriend and start having phone sex and cyber sex with your real-life boyfriend;

 

c) dump both of them and re-evaluate what it is that leads you to cheat on someone who is readily available with someone who is not.

 

something is obviously missing from your relationship with your real-life boyfriend for you to feel the need to continue this intangible sexual "relationship" with joe bloggs in another country.

 

what is so great about this person you can't even touch, see or smell that you have to keep doing it despite feeling "guilty"?

 

good luck