jen_jen_heartbroken Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 I've not loved many people in my life, but of the ones that I do...whether it be romantic or otherwise...I have never just stopped loving the other person or not wanted to be with them. Yet, each romantic relationship I've been in where we professed love for each other, the guy has dumped me. How is it that people can just stop loving a person they once claimed to love. I've never been able to do that, so it's a foreign concept to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Geoffrey Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 ...and how you feel. Call me the "sensitive kind," but love is something that I just can't shut off either. I don't think I'm capable of it. I'm a person who tries to work things out as much as possible so we both win in the relationship. There are women I've dated 20 years back that I still "love" in my own way, from a distance of course, but each one has a little compartment in my heart, kinda like their own little cubicle, in which I can go "visit" with my memories any time I like. And in my own mind, I can see them still smiling back at me, too. Maybe this is a silly daydream, but it is how I have found resolution for my past loves. Now for my current past love...that's a tougher one. I am trying to do NC, but I left the door open for her to contact me if she wishes (she is with someone else now, it's a dysfunctional relationship and I know this for a fact!) to talk to someone who knows her so very well. It's so hard, we used to talk all the time about so many things, and now that is gone. But we reached a point where angry words were starting to pass between us, and I don't think that is a good thing for either of us. Jen, it's OK to keep loving someone....I know my ex still loves me....and sometimes that is as far as it can go, dear. I am trying to find peace in that, and it is going to take some time to get there, believe me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Love isn't a feeling, it's a decision. So make the decision to stop loving. Simple? Yes. Easy? No. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 How is it that people can just stop loving a person they once claimed to love. I've never been able to do that, so it's a foreign concept to me. The key word above is "claimed". Just because one says or thinks they love another does not mean that they actually do. Also, the lovee could betray the lover and cause the love to disappear. Link to post Share on other sites
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