Purely platonic relationships are a MYTH

[ausbrucelives]

I belive there is no such thing as a close purely platonic relationship between the sexes, even if they're simple looking.

 

Do male friends fancy their female friends more than the other way around?

 

Your comments pls

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "Do male friends fancy their female friends more than the other way around?"

 

I don't think there is any way to answer this accurately. Each situation is different.

 

I think that platonic situations can evolve into more on the part of both the male and the female. I've seen about an equal number of posts on the subject from both sexes.

 

However, I think females are more inclined to pidgeon-hole a relationship and keep it in one category. So if I had to guess, absent any hard data, I would say that men fall for platonic female friends more than the other way around.

 

I have also observed that females who have male friends often present a brief window where they may be open to convert the relationship into a more romantic one. If the guys are too dense to recognize this window of opportunity, then it's just tough.

[BeenThere]

I can only offer a comment at this point since I have yet to come to any firm opinion regarding this matter, a subject I have been examining closely in the past year.

 

I have several female friends who have stepped over the line and turned their "platonic" male friends into lovers in a desperate moment because of the need to be "emotionally connected to someone who understood them"...and when the intimate relationship fell apart, and they realized they made better friends than lovers, they had and still "are" having difficulty putting the friendship back together the way it was before their indiscretion. I have one female friend in particular who seemed to develope "crushes" on all of her many male "platonic" friends although they did reciprocate other than to jokingly fend off her suttle suggestions and wild flirtations.

 

On the other hand, I have know two men in my life who have been able to sustain platonic friendships with their female ex-lovers with seemingly no effort at all. Almost as if there was some emotional "switch" that they could just turn on or off depending on how the relationship evolved. And being human, and at times just as insecure as anyone else, I often questioned the validity of these "platonic" female friendships. As both were boyfriends, there was some concern (on my part) as to whether or not there had been healthy closure put on these past relationships.

 

And...I must admit...I have had "platonic" male friends. Two of them are married (God bless their wives!)...and the friendships evolved during a time when I was also married...mutual friends that call every now and then just to check up and say "hello." But I don't spend time with these male friends one-on-one. Nor have I EVER had any sexual interest in them what-so-ever. The very thought of it makes me ill, because they are like brothers.

 

And, before getting involved in my current relationship, there were two male friends that I would occasionally spend time with. We'd go to a show, a movie, to dinner or a ballgame together, but it was clear (at least on my part) that this would not evolve into anything else. And because I respect the feelings of my current partner, I no longer spend "alone time" with my male friends. And because they are "friends," they understand and don't feel slighted in the least. And out of respect for my current boyfreind, they don't telephone the house or invite me out to spend alone time with them. I've made it clear..."I have someone in my life, and if you want my company, we're a package deal!"

 

Do I believe there is such a thing as a purely "platonic" relationship between the sexes? I really don't know. I think its possible between two emotionally stable and "mature" individuals...just so long as they know the difference between a friendship and a relationship. As for me, I live by the rule; "you don't f*** your friends!"

I belive there is no such thing as a close purely platonic relationship between the sexes, even if they're simple looking. Do male friends fancy their female friends more than the other way around? Your comments pls

[Miss Mojo]

hi ausbrucelives,

 

i would have to disagree with you there (from my experience only). i have male friends (good looking and simple looking) and the relationships are purely platonic...no interest whatsover, never has been, never will be. i wouldn't exactly be described as simple looking, but i know my male friends feel the same way about me as i do about them.

 

zero attraction, but really good mates and vice-versa....maybe i'm just lucky!!

 

I belive there is no such thing as a close purely platonic relationship between the sexes, even if they're simple looking. Do male friends fancy their female friends more than the other way around? Your comments pls