help Posted August 16, 2001 Share Posted August 16, 2001 Ok, so my now ex broke up with me about a week ago. We were VERY VERY close and never had problems. One day she just broke up with me and said i hurt her. Since then she has basically forgotten our past together and is even creating a past where I have done bad things to her. Now, everything she accuses me of is something that her family or "friends" have done to her. It makes me think that she was so hurt by the people close to her that she truely believes that everyone close to her hurt her. But now she is on great terms with her family and "friends" and absolutely hates me. She wont even talk to me unless its insults. I want her so bad but she has really gone nuts. Even when i compliment her she finds "hidden meanings" that are insulting her. It's really freaking me out. But still, the worst part is that she has forgotten her past with me and created a new one. Is this a real disorder? What can i do to help her. Just some info: her mom is a schitzophrenic in denial, plus an alcoholic. I figure its kinda contagious in a way? I want to help her so bad because i love her but i dont love this crazy person who accuses me of so many bad things. People tell me to move on and let her go insane but how can i just let someone i love so much out of my life like this? She has already started turning to alcohol and drugs and wants unprotected sex.....and this is a girl who doesnt touch drugs and has never had sex with someone she didnt love. It's like she woke up one morning a nut. Please help. PS. She is in complete denial and refuses to get help, though i know she has a psychiatrist appointment sometime. But can he help if she creates a fake reality(equally lies)? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 16, 2001 Share Posted August 16, 2001 YOU ASK: "What is this mental disorder called?" It is not a mental disorder but rather, what they call in psychology "displacement of agression." Anytime you take out your anger for one person or a group of people on another person or group, this is deplacement of agression. A good example is the one you posted above. Another might be if a man has an argument with his boss, comes home, and kicks the cat or picks a fight with his wife. Since he is unable to be too demostrative with the boss because of the possibility of being fired, it's lots easier to bring the anger (displace it) home. Whenever we do not confront that which we are angry at but take it out on or displace that anger onto another person, animal or object (throwing things against a wall, etc.), this is displacement of agression. I hope this helps you. I do think your ex is very sick and petty and you really don't need somebody like that in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
help Posted August 16, 2001 Share Posted August 16, 2001 I have talked to a psychiatrist and he said that because she believes she is always right(which i forgot to mention) and likes to create her own past she has a serious form of schitzophrenia....which cannot be cured until she admits it. Then when she does she will more than likely be locked away. Sadly, he said she's more than likely a lost cause... Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 16, 2001 Share Posted August 16, 2001 If the pschiatrist you talked to made this diagnosis without talking to her and giving her tests, he ought to lose his license. Nothing you posted indicated she has schizophrenia. If the psychiatrist told you she had to admit to having schizophrenia before she can be cured, he ought to be shot before he loses his license. Schizophrenics normally don't know what they have and can only admit that something is wrong...but they are not sure. Schizophrenia is a brain neurotransmitter and chemical problem treated with various drugs and therapies. I don't think anyone who has it would know they had it or could admit to it. Your lady does not have signs of schizophrenia based on your post. However, there may be a lot I am missing short of making personal observations. Based on your post, she is only displacing agression which is something a lot of people do. Anyway, get away from her and don't worry about what her problem is. But you should be worried about this psychiatrist running around talking like a goofball. Link to post Share on other sites
help Posted August 16, 2001 Share Posted August 16, 2001 There is alot i did not post. I showed the psychiatrist many of our past conversations from online(because i always saved them) and just whited out her email address(for legal reasons) so he did see how she was acting. I'm just letting you know that. Though you still may disagree with him. Just remember i kept it VERY VERY brief. Link to post Share on other sites
MegaB Posted August 18, 2001 Share Posted August 18, 2001 I couldn't have said it better! I completely agree with Tony on this deal (a rare thing for me to do...). I am just curious though..."help", why are you showing your psychiatrist all her emails? You are trying to deal with your issues, not hers, when you talk to your doctor. It just seems odd that you are going out of your way to prove something to your doctor. Are you avoiding that you could have also been responsible of the breakup? by putting all the responsibility on her? Are you in denial of something yourself? I'm just asking... Link to post Share on other sites
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