SmoochieFace Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 If they changed for them, yes. If they changed for themselves, I think the odds are greater for success. If not with the ex, with any future relationships. Well, I have told myself that if my current relationship doesn't work out then that's it. No more. I am way too old to be *starting over* and I would rather do things for myself than throw myself into the drama- and game-filled world of dating, relationships, etc once again. Link to post Share on other sites
hyakku Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 An example of teasing would be like when a guy tells maybe a taboo style joke or he PLAYFULLY jokes on a woman and she gives him one of those arm hits and the, "You're an a**h***" line with a smile. Thats the type of teasing I'm talking about, -------------- Oh so lets give an example of a Taboo style joke : Two cousins were having sex ( taboo ) and ...oh just kidding and then I hit you on the arm" ? So a girl is bore who doesnt let you tell lame jokes and take sucker punches ? Maybe some women like to get teased but I don't. There are things that are funny and some things that are just Mean. Teasing to me is immature and soooo... Middle School. Tell me a joke . Make me laugh. But don't tease . Its just lame. I can't really convince you any further its your choice, but what the hell that was pretty sick. Two cousins having sex? I was thinking something along the lines of a sexually oriented joke. Lame jokes? If they are lame they wouldn't be funny. They aren't supposed to be some canned lines, its just when the situation arises maybe you can joke with each other. I know me and a friend of mine thats a girl often flirt around and sometimes when she makes a tiny error I pretend to get all upset and embarrassed and go, "Jeez thanks now EVERYONE is staring at us" and maybe walk away for a second or two. Or twist her words and go, "Oh so your lying to me now! I knew there was someone else," and pretend to get mad. This is teasing. Not, "HAHAHA your fat just kidding." Teasing is not hurting someones feelings its telling a joke, or flirting with each other in a fun way. I'm not quite sure what you think teasing is, but you and I must have some incredibly warped view. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 I'll say it again: if it's your thing to tell a light joke and occasionally do a little light teasing, then do it and don't be afraid. Just know that there are occasionally some women out there who don't dig it, and they will be offended by it. In that case you have to ask whether or not you want to be around a woman who doesn't have your sense of humor. And by teasing, I mean a little light razzing like what we do here on LS (okay, bad example) but just a little poking in the name of fun - once you get comfortably on speaking terms, that is. I would not tease someone right off the bat because it's too easy for misunderstandings to occur in the beginning of the relationship. For me, it would be a deal breaker if she couldn't take a little joking...I just can't see myself with someone who can't laugh or share humor with me, or thinks that she's too sophisticated for me. I don't care how beautiful she is. In my experience, beautiful women like a guy who can tease her artfully. They're so used to men just sucking up to them and treating them like goddesses that it's refreshing to find a guy who is comfortable enough around them to induce a little light banter. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 I'll say it again: if it's your thing to tell a light joke and occasionally do a little light teasing, then do it and don't be afraid. Just know that there are occasionally some women out there who don't dig it, and they will be offended by it. In that case you have to ask whether or not you want to be around a woman who doesn't have your sense of humor. And by teasing, I mean a little light razzing like what we do here on LS (okay, bad example) but just a little poking in the name of fun - once you get comfortably on speaking terms, that is. I would not tease someone right off the bat because it's too easy for misunderstandings to occur in the beginning of the relationship. For me, it would be a deal breaker if she couldn't take a little joking...I just can't see myself with someone who can't laugh or share humor with me, or thinks that she's too sophisticated for me. I don't care how beautiful she is. In my experience, beautiful women like a guy who can tease her artfully. They're so used to men just sucking up to them and treating them like goddesses that it's refreshing to find a guy who is comfortable enough around them to induce a little light banter. This is a good post. I have been fortunate enough to have met women who do indeed enjoy a little teasing and having fun. Its important to have a good healthy balance of being serious and being just plain goofy in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
hyakku Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 I'll say it again: if it's your thing to tell a light joke and occasionally do a little light teasing, then do it and don't be afraid. Just know that there are occasionally some women out there who don't dig it, and they will be offended by it. In that case you have to ask whether or not you want to be around a woman who doesn't have your sense of humor. And by teasing, I mean a little light razzing like what we do here on LS (okay, bad example) but just a little poking in the name of fun - once you get comfortably on speaking terms, that is. I would not tease someone right off the bat because it's too easy for misunderstandings to occur in the beginning of the relationship. For me, it would be a deal breaker if she couldn't take a little joking...I just can't see myself with someone who can't laugh or share humor with me, or thinks that she's too sophisticated for me. I don't care how beautiful she is. In my experience, beautiful women like a guy who can tease her artfully. They're so used to men just sucking up to them and treating them like goddesses that it's refreshing to find a guy who is comfortable enough around them to induce a little light banter. Finally someone gets what I'm trying to express in words. Yea but if I do come across a woman who can't take it, I cut it off right there, there's no point in wasting my time with someone I just won't wanna be with ya'know? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 In my experience, beautiful women like a guy who (bla bla) And, after all, they're the only ones worth having Bob the Nice Guy gets screwed: either he waits through a string of beefcake boyfriends Only if Bob's dumb enough to fall for immature girls instead of women who have some maturity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hyakku Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Its not that the women are immature, this is just an excuse nice guys make in order to cover their ego. Its that nice guys generally let themselves get walked all over, disrespected and usually don't even have respect from other men, besides other women, and they expect to be looked on as a mate? We humans are animals too, and we all have primal instincts, and if that instinct is to survive, mating with a mate who is weak and tentative just screams, "DONT DO IT!" Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 For me, it would be a deal breaker if she couldn't take a little joking...I just can't see myself with someone who can't laugh or share humor with me, or thinks that she's too sophisticated for me. I don't care how beautiful she is. ------- First of all ,I have a great sense of humor , love to make people laugh, love to have friends around who are genuinely funny,.Love to laugh ( even at myself ) and watch comedies, and the guy I'm with has to have a sense of humor as well. I think the type of teasing that brings to mind : I used to have a boyfriend who would grab my foot and I would tell him my feet are very ticklish and to let go of my foot . The tickling was to the point of it feeling uncomfortable . ( Those of you who are very ticklish know what I mean ) When he was done tickling my foot ,I would tell him not to do that again because it felt so awful. Then a few days later he would grab my foot and do it again. He would get a kick of out me screaming for him to stop. I didn't like that. Thats the kind of teasing that bothers me. The teasing verbal might be a direct insult like " Hey Bi### you are blocking my view " It just depends if its a friend or a stranger saying it. So yes I can be somewhat sensitive to foot tickling or crude remarks but light banter kidding is not a problem. We have some posters here who are very funny. Alpha mostly for his direct no messin around truth be told attitude. Although he kind of dissapointed me a little ways back , not being very empathetic... As for one of the posters who talked about reconciliation and * waiting * for someone to get their head on straight , my idea is that once you have broken up , its never quite the same ? Why wait around ? Regarding * Nice * and * Good * Guys. : Someone previously posted on a Good Guy and thats the type I like being with. Too nice is too swishy and boring. Good Guys Rock. I still live the Chivalry but I want the man who falls off the horse to get bravely back on the Horse and not whine....A man who whines like a baby is a total turnoff Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Mary - none of what you describe was 'teasing'. Just because an idiot calls a hammer a book doesn't make a hammer a book. He was being mean, not teasing. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Thanks for clarifying what being mean is Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Its not that the women are immature, this is just an excuse nice guys make in order to cover their ego. Its that nice guys generally let themselves get walked all over, disrespected and usually don't even have respect from other men, besides other women, and they expect to be looked on as a mate? We humans are animals too, and we all have primal instincts, and if that instinct is to survive, mating with a mate who is weak and tentative just screams, "DONT DO IT!" Oh boy... This is silly. My GF didn't choose me based on some ridiculous *survival instinct*... jeez, I wish people would quit subscribing to that garbage. If there's any *instinct* I have it's to reject all of this social blathering and just live my life and protect what's mine. This isn't a contest for me and I will not be dragged into it. I don't care if I am *respected* by other people - men AND women. It's not important to me. What IS important is protecting what's mine and not allowing anyone to jeopardise it. Link to post Share on other sites
PlentyLV007 Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 I don't like a guy that's a jerk! I like a man with confidence and not arrogant! I feel that men who are jerks are just full of arrogance. Feeling that they can treat woman which ever way they want to and it wouldn't matter because they can just move on to the next. I'm aggressive and I read body language very well. It's obvious when a man wants just a cetain thing and when he does want to take you seriously. I've also had men who over call, or if I don't pick up my cell they call my house about 3 times. Recently I was seeing someone who use to call me, text me every other day. That was nice....then to see me he would only call me after a certain if you know what I mean (wink wink). I think most people just have to know what they want from a person before treating them a certain way and being as honest and open about it. So both parties know and acknowledge the agreement. Wether it's for pleasure or building a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 I like a man with confidence and not arrogant! Confidence and arrogance many times go hand in hand. Its hard to separate the two. Many physicians are known to be arrogant but they still help people with their medical problems. Movie stars and pro athletes and CEOs can also be arrogant but that is one of the reasons why they got to the top of their professions. Arrogance is just confidence on steroids and is needed in this world. I'd rather be over confident and arrogant than under confident and submissive. Link to post Share on other sites
PlentyLV007 Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 I'd rather be over confident and arrogant than under confident and submissive. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 I haven't even read this thread, because I'm sure it's a continuation of all the others we've already had........like porn or something along those lines. I'm amazed however it's still going on and on and on............. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Confidence and arrogance many times go hand in hand. Its hard to separate the two. Many physicians are known to be arrogant but they still help people with their medical problems. Arrogant people are often very loathe to admit that they're ever wrong, and they don't like other people pointing out their mistakes. I would have reservations about undergoing surgery at the hands of a very arrogant surgeon unless I was very certain that his arrogance was justified. The problem with overt arrogance is that it sometimes isn't justified, and has been cultivated as a distracting cover for mediocrity. Better to be in the hands of a quietly competent and confident surgeon who had excellent communication with the rest of the theatre staff - and who will pay attention if someone else highlights any potential problems to him. After all, who needs to go under the knife of a surgeon whose staff might be too scared and intimidated to point out a mistake that he's made? When I see an overtly arrogant man, I see someone who may well be over-compensating for something...and that puts me on red alert. I appreciate that not all women feel like that, and that many do like arrogance. I think that's a preference they often pay quite dearly for. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 I appreciate that not all women feel like that, and that many do like arrogance. I think that's a preference they often pay quite dearly for. arrogance is a very masculine quality when it is backed up by something substantive like good looks, money, power, etc.... many of the people who run the world and make decisions that affect millions are arrogant. one does not get to that place in life without it. Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Arrogant people are often full with issues as their fear to fail and to lose face is stronger than what an average person experiences. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Arrogant people are often full with issues as their fear to fail and to lose face is stronger than what an average person experiences. exactly LOONEY....so whould you rather have an arrogant person piloting your cross-country flight in a boeing 767 or just the average everyday joe? Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 arrogance is a very masculine quality when it is backed up by something substantive like good looks, money, power, etc.... many of the people who run the world and make decisions that affect millions are arrogant. one does not get to that place in life without it. How do you differentiate arrogance from confidence? Arrogance, to my mind, involves the person placing their ego first...even where others might be detrimentally affected. I think it's possible - and preferable - for a person to be confident without having an arrogant manner (save those moments of arrogance which most of us are prone to). Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 exactly LOONEY....so whould you rather have an arrogant person piloting your cross-country flight in a boeing 767 or just the average everyday joe? Me personally I'd rather have a confident pilot than arrogant. A confident pilot will know he knows what to do if something goes wrong but will be open to suggestions if there's a chance he is wrong and won't take it personal. An arrogant pilot will think he knows what to do if something goes wrong and will not be open to suggestions if there's a chance he is wrong and he will take it personal. Confidence > Arrogance every day of the week. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 I think it's possible - and preferable - for a person to be confident without having an arrogant manner the two go together and cannot be separated. the one thing that seperates highly successful people for everyone else is arrogance, and this applies to both men and women. you don't think that Oprah is one arrogant beeyotch behind closed doors? Link to post Share on other sites
cygny Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Me personally I'd rather have a confident pilot than arrogant. A confident pilot will know he knows what to do if something goes wrong but will be open to suggestions if there's a chance he is wrong and won't take it personal. An arrogant pilot will think he knows what to do if something goes wrong and will not be open to suggestions if there's a chance he is wrong and he will take it personal. Confidence > Arrogance every day of the week. heya you beat me to it exactly what i was gonna say Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 heya you beat me to it exactly what i was gonna say Turn your pm's on, will ya already? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Confidence > Arrogance every day of the week. My point CALIGUY, is that the two go together and cannot be separated. Link to post Share on other sites
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