lost/found? Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 1. If you hear the I love you but i am not in love with you, can those feelings come back? 2. If so. How do you go about getting those sparks back? I know that relationships fail all the time, some never get back together but I know of several that have endured breakups from 1 month to over a year and these couples seem to be happy and content. But obviously when these couples broke up one or the other partners were questioning there love or trying to figure out if this person was really the one, some just got scared and there could be numerous other factors because all situations are completely different. Any opinions on these questions would greatly be appreciated! Thanks all Link to post Share on other sites
Author lost/found? Posted January 28, 2006 Author Share Posted January 28, 2006 anyone????? humour me please Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 1. If you hear the I love you but i am not in love with you, can those feelings come back? The old "I love you but I am not in love with you" betrays a dangerous immaturity when it comes to relationships. Your partner is telling you that "if I don't feel it, then it doesn't exist." That's utter nonsense, of course, because love is not a feeling, love is a decision. 2. If so. How do you go about getting those sparks back? That depends on why your partner felt the "sparks" went away in the first place, so to provide any sort of reasonable guidance, some details might be in order. Link to post Share on other sites
agnf666 Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 1. If you hear the I love you but i am not in love with you, can those feelings come back? If this is what the person feels, I'm not sure those feelings can comeback... I think it all depends on what happened in the relationship. Did you break up on good terms or really bad ones... 2. If so. How do you go about getting those sparks back? Getting the sparks back can be very hard... It all depends on how things went in the relationship and if the person really feels that they made a mistake... Now my questions for you are... How long did you date? When did you break up? Who broke up with who? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lost/found? Posted January 29, 2006 Author Share Posted January 29, 2006 We dated for 5 years and lived together pretty much from the start. She broke up with me after returning from a 2 week vacation. The main cause of the breakup was my constant pot smoking which made me tired irratible and lazy. I am now completely clean for over 3 months IMO the feelings people have for each other are always there but sometimes one of the partners forgets where to find them. In any longterm relationship there are going to be times when one of the partners just does not like the other at all. Link to post Share on other sites
agnf666 Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Have you talked to her at all since the breakup?... Link to post Share on other sites
Author lost/found? Posted January 29, 2006 Author Share Posted January 29, 2006 yes i've talked to her since the breakup and I've done the pathetic begging and pleading for the first 6 weeks. It's now been 3 months and I know for a fact that the idea of us getting back together is not totally out of the question and when we do talk now i keep it light and try not to give out to much information about what i've been doing. I know she is not dating at all because she is still trying to figure out what is going on between us. But when i sometimes press to see where i stand she always goes with the safe answers such as i'm not ready or i need time or not right now Link to post Share on other sites
agnf666 Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 yes i've talked to her since the breakup and I've done the pathetic begging and pleading for the first 6 weeks. It's now been 3 months and I know for a fact that the idea of us getting back together is not totally out of the question and when we do talk now i keep it light and try not to give out to much information about what i've been doing. I know she is not dating at all because she is still trying to figure out what is going on between us. I think what might do is to probably do No Contact for a while. That might make things a little better between you the both of you. It will give you both time and room to think about things... That is what the both of need at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lost/found? Posted January 29, 2006 Author Share Posted January 29, 2006 I leave her alone for the most part and I know she misses me. But i am working far away from her right nowon a contract and I have to go back and stay at our house for a week untill i get my feet back on the ground and get my own place. I am going to try to be all smiles when I am there and hopefully show her what i am like without the drugs and maybe that may peak her interests. Link to post Share on other sites
agnf666 Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 I hope that works out for you... Just don't push it so much... Does she know that you have not been using drugs? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lost/found? Posted January 29, 2006 Author Share Posted January 29, 2006 She nows i am off the drugs and from what one of her friends recently told me that she does not think she can find anyone that has done as much for her as i have. I think she started to get scared after we bought our house thinking that is this all there is to life and things like that. She thinks that we have to get married if we were to try again,whereas Iam saying lets take it day by day and see what happens so I think there is a much better chance of getting back together with her when I get my own place and hopefully that will take some of the pressure off her. She did agree to spend some time with me and see where it goes but i am worried about falling into the friendzone if something like that goes on too long. Link to post Share on other sites
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