lmtalsoul Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 Just got to this forum. Hello Everybody!! Was searching around as I was desperately searching for someone who could advice me because, I'm loosing my mind. I know this is a big post, but please please help me... Hoping very much that atleast someone could get me out of this troubled state. Everything has been so normal all these years... Thought that my life would be a normal life. But something began to change... Just an year back... I had a crush on one of my juniors... Thought it was only because she was so cute... Everything was still normal when i started this foolish game with one of my friends who is a girl.... I told her that i had a girlfriend... and kept boasting of it... The fact was that i had none.... But i don't know what made me say certain things but it looked as if i was assuming this junior as being my fantasy girlfriend.... I kept fooling around with the game... Started giving her clues about this junior... and finally told her that if she fails to discover the name, then i'll tell her at the end of my graduation... And then we had a bet on a small thing and as I lost I had to tell her the name of this junior. Thought that the game ended there. That the game was normal... but for the last few days.... I'm getting really weird feelings whenever i see her... I'm a silent boy... very shy... If there was nothing between us, i would have spoken to her without any problem but now i think that something is there..... I'm very desperate now.. to talk to her "once"... I'm confused... I don't know why i insticate and say what i don't mean... I thought of forgetting everything... but just can't leave the memory of this junior now... I'm sincerely liking her but then I think that i shouldn't go behind her... I'm unable to do anything because the moment i see her... everything is revived again... Now, i'm trying to see her everyday even without my will... I made it a point to find each and every info about this girl and finally succeeded. Found out every detail about her. A few days back, introduced myself to her with an alias and started chatting with her. She says that she won't speak with strangers and that I have to reveal my name to continue chatting with her. I don't know how but she somehow got convinced that I was from her class. And I didn't take any risk of telling her that I'm not from her class. I don't think she will continue like this anymore. It is only a few days until she comes back again. What should I do? Should I reveal my name? But then, I'd be a fool in the college because by now she must've told everyone that there was someone she met online. Or should I tell her that I have a crush on her? I don't know what the consequences would be then... Someone... Please help me... What should I do now to gain her friendship and at the same time getting no black spot on my image? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 I had a crush on one of my juniors.. What does that mean? Are you a fellow student or a prof or something? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lmtalsoul Posted January 28, 2006 Author Share Posted January 28, 2006 I had a crush on one of my juniors.. What does that mean? Are you a fellow student or a prof or something? I am a fellow student, one year senior to her. I'm in my Third Year and she's a Second... Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 "The game that turned deadly" - a little dramatic, no? You have to accept that you are infatuated with her and nothing more. Because your mind has been in love with her for so long, when you know very little about her, pretty much makes having a real relationship with her impossible, or highly unlikely. Why? Because no matter what, to have an honest relationship with her, you'll weird the hell out of her. You're just about on stalker status now, man. I suggest you forget this mystery man business completely. There's no way to make that work and you should've known that. I advise you to spend your time getting yourself to the same parties she goes to, and do the same activities, if you want to have a chance with her. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 Oh what a tangled web we weave....... But first some perspective - it's not a deadly situation. Why don't you just 'fess up to this girl you had the bet with? Maybe she will help you get to know this other girl?? As to the 'juniour' - either tell her your name or forget all about her. I don't see how you can get yourself out of this otherwise. And no, you won't be a fool! Almost everyone plays the dating game at college. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 Stalker was EXACTLY what popped into my mind...and why in the world would you lie about your name to her? Would she have a reason to fear/dislike you if she knew your real name. The fact that you've gone to so much detail to find out each and every detail about her, follow her, see her (as you said even if you don't really want to) and what you stated in this title borders complete obesession. If you find urself watching her when you don't want to see her, saying you feel there is something between you two just because you can't speak with her now. What does that mean? Anyway I say move on, find someone or at least attempt to find out if she's interested in the real you, if not then move on and find someone who really is. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 Stalker is a bit harsh.. but you are bordering on some really obsessive behavior that can lead to stalking. Yes you either must tell her your real name or stop all contact with her and move on.. She will most likely tell you to f-off when you do tell her your real name but at least you will be on the up and up with her and she can decide how to go from there.. If she does tell you to f-off then you need to leave her alone.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lmtalsoul Posted January 28, 2006 Author Share Posted January 28, 2006 Well... I guess what you people say is exactly true... Maybe I am a stalker in this regard... But, don't you have any other word for that... its a bit too extreme... I'm not harassing her... She does not know that I know everything about her... Great!! I'm now chatting with her.. and she thinks that I'm from the same class... So, there's no other way huh? Even if i say that i have a crush on her by staying anonymous? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 tell her who you are... that way if there is anything between you two that it can move forward Link to post Share on other sites
Author lmtalsoul Posted January 28, 2006 Author Share Posted January 28, 2006 tell her who you are... that way if there is anything between you two that it can move forward How can there be anything.... I'm famous in my college for my projects and presentations thats all... and thats how she knows me... just as another senior... it is only me who is a fool... I'm feeling guilty for everything that i've done... but to leave now?? i think i really should leave everything... i shouldn't be freakin out someone i like... If i reveal myself now, don't you think it would look so ridiculous? All this time, she was thinking that i was someone from her class... Just a few moments back, she was trying to guess some names from her class... And now if i reveal my name... and tell her that i'm not from her class but a senior... i'm a goner for sure... What do you say? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 and tell her that i'm not from her class but a senior... i'm a goner for sure... That really doesn't make any sense. And what is this thing about seniours & juniours?? She is one year below you, yes? Hardly makes you seniour, in my opinion. And if it does, she might get a kick out of going out with a seniour. Art & I have said the same thing - tell her who you are or move on. Those are really the only choices you have. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lmtalsoul Posted January 28, 2006 Author Share Posted January 28, 2006 Hmm... I got it... But what if everything turns bitter after i tell her who i am? What if she complains? Please don't get me wrong.. I'll follow your advice and stop buggin her from my alias. But is there any other way? If you say that the only other way is to leave her and move on... then I guess i'm one unlucky fellow... who was once a stalker(i was waiting for some alternate word though) How should I end this story? I should stop abruptly and abandon my alias forever? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 What if she complains? Complains about what? ... who was once a stalker(i was waiting for some alternate word though I wouldn't say you were/are a stalker. Infatuated & with a crush. How's that? How should I end this story? What exactly did you hope to accomplish by communicating with her incognito? Tell her who you are & ask her out. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 What if she complains? Complains about what? ... who was once a stalker(i was waiting for some alternate word though I wouldn't say you were/are a stalker. Infatuated & with a crush. How's that? How should I end this story? What exactly did you hope to accomplish by communicating with her incognito? Tell her who you are & ask her out. I totally agree with all 3 statements that Blue has made.. You gain nothing by talking to her if she doesn't know who you really are.. you either have to stop talking to her or tell her who you are.. telling her who you are has SOME chance of gaining something positive out of the truth Link to post Share on other sites
whats wrong with me Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 Your too funny!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 Someone who obsesses about another person and tries to find out all information available about said person is a stalker. Welcome to the club. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 Someone who obsesses about another person and tries to find out all information available about said person is a stalker. Welcome to the club. I think there is a difference between being obsessed with, & actively stalking, someone. Though certainly in more unbalanced individuals the former can lead to the latter. Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 I think there is a difference between being obsessed with, & actively stalking, someone. Though certainly in more unbalanced individuals the former can lead to the latter. I would have assumed that it's just a small step from someone who gathers any tiny little bit of information of the object of desire to being the guy who tries to observe his beloved one secretly or as this guy does approach the girl on the messenger with another identity. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 I would have assumed that it's just a small step from someone who gathers any tiny little bit of information of the object of desire to being the guy who tries to observe his beloved one secretly or as this guy does approach the girl on the messenger with another identity. I think, to some degree, we have all been guilty of this kind of behaviour (usually when we're young), but we all haven't progressed to stalking. But like I said, certainly in more unbalanced individuals the former can lead to the latter. Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 I think, to some degree, we have all been guilty of this kind of behaviour (usually when we're young), but we all haven't progressed to stalking. But like I said, certainly in more unbalanced individuals the former can lead to the latter. What would your definition of a stalker look like? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 What would your definition of a stalker look like? How about the Oxford English Dictionary's definition: obsess: fill the mind of someone continually & disturbingly stalk: pursue or approach stealthily, harass or persecute with unwanted & obsessive attention Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 How about the Oxford English Dictionary's definition: obsess: fill the mind of someone continually & disturbingly stalk: pursue or approach stealthily, harass or persecute with unwanted & obsessive attention Ok, so I will include "pursue your object of desire" in my definition of a stalker. In any case, the original poster does look stalkerish, at least in my opinion he crossed the line when he started approaching her on MSN with a different name and still hasn't revealed his true identity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lmtalsoul Posted January 28, 2006 Author Share Posted January 28, 2006 Its not that easy to reveal myself and then get going normally in the college... So I guess, I'll put an end to that alias...and try to gain something in her views in the real world... Not easy but i guess that would be a better approach... And yeah, its not an object but a feeling... Just because there's someone who gains info for the sake of harrasing the other... you can't end up calling everyone by that name... guess i was solely responsible for being called a stalker... hehe... life is so damn boring... Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Calm down . Stop living in la la land and tell her who you are and stop acting so mysterious... Link to post Share on other sites
Author lmtalsoul Posted April 12, 2006 Author Share Posted April 12, 2006 I'm back... after a long time... You know what? She's a good friend of mine now... And no, I didn't reveal myself... I put an end to that character and started a project in which I joined her as one of my team members... Haha... Guess, I'm the luckiest one on this planet... What do you guyz say? Link to post Share on other sites
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