notmakingsense Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 Its been about 2 months since my breakup and my body is ready to go out and get laid! My heart is not ready for anything serious yet though.... Here's my problem. As a guy, I'm the one that has to get out there and be the provider during the dating ritual. I actually wouldn't have it any other way, as I'm the traditional type. But... I'm a divorcee in California (my exw didn't work), and I recently bought a half-million $$ condo that is stretching my budget to its limit. How the heck can I get out there and get laid when I'm broke? Should I just post an on-line ad that tells it like it is? Somehow, I find it doubtful that the type of woman who'm I'd like to be intimate with would respond to something like that. I won't be broke forever.... my home financing and alimony payments will reduce in a year, but geez -- a guy can only go for so long without female intimate companionship!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 Do you have to have money in Cali to get laid? Im sure you dont unless you want to date high class hookers! Why tell anyone your financial situation? They shouldnt be dating you for your money anyway! Plus you must have a great crib to bring her back to!! Good laying luck lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author notmakingsense Posted January 28, 2006 Author Share Posted January 28, 2006 Well, not really -- but you do have to have enough money to go out, buy her drinks, dinner, etc.!! Dating is expensive! and not in my budget right now... How about coffee shops... I could afford that... some nice conversation followed by -- wanna come over to my rad crib and fool around? Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 Coffee and sex sounds good to me lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author notmakingsense Posted January 28, 2006 Author Share Posted January 28, 2006 Well then -- you're the one I'm looking for! Seriously though... it seems that there is just no getting around the fact that $$$s have to be shelled out before a guy could ever hope to get laid. I have had the fortunate experience of getting laid after one night on the town -- but that's not the norm... poor me, I guess I'm just going to have to be happy with my hand and the lube for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Gold Pile Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 Ya hit my pet peeve. Why do people buy flashy cars, and homes etc, when they cannot easily afford them. I have a modest condo (modest house B4 that) till recently I drove modest cars. All BS aside, I'm very comfortable financially. Its been about 2 months since my breakup and my body is ready to go out and get laid! My heart is not ready for anything serious yet though.... Here's my problem. As a guy, I'm the one that has to get out there and be the provider during the dating ritual. I actually wouldn't have it any other way, as I'm the traditional type. But... I'm a divorcee in California (my exw didn't work), and I recently bought a half-million $$ condo that is stretching my budget to its limit. How the heck can I get out there and get laid when I'm broke? Should I just post an on-line ad that tells it like it is? Somehow, I find it doubtful that the type of woman who'm I'd like to be intimate with would respond to something like that. I won't be broke forever.... my home financing and alimony payments will reduce in a year, but geez -- a guy can only go for so long without female intimate companionship!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bluetuesday Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 one of the reasons i hate the whole dating 'scene' is that it's approached like a business deal. thinking you have to shell out $$$ to get laid is pretty dumb. if sex is what you're looking for, with a pretty swift turnaround so $$$ doesn't become $$$$ before you get it, go to a professional. if affection is what you're looking for, if company is what you're looking for, if you'd actually like a relationship, go to a library (it's free) or a bookstore (also free) or walk a friend's dog (yada yada) and strike up a conversation with a nice girl. ask her for coffee, make her laugh, be genuine with her. make any date you get with her inexpensive - a picnic in the park, a free open-air concert, walking in the hills, cooking dinner for her (much more cosy, and she gets to see your condo). if a woman demands treating to expensive dinners before she'll put out, she isn't into you. being temporarily cash-poor isn't your problem. thinking women won't like you because of this, might be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author notmakingsense Posted January 28, 2006 Author Share Posted January 28, 2006 Goldpile -- Unfortunately, my place is modest. Because of my profession and the fact my kids are here -- I'm stuck living in one of the most over-inflated areas in the country. That 500k barely got me a 2 bedroom condo. Makes ya wanna puke, doesn't it? This is all part of a carefully crafted financial plan... I was just throwing my money away on rent -- no tax benefit, etc. So I just have to suck it up until my expenses decrease in the summer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author notmakingsense Posted January 28, 2006 Author Share Posted January 28, 2006 one of the reasons i hate the whole dating 'scene' is that it's approached like a business deal. thinking you have to shell out $$$ to get laid is pretty dumb. if sex is what you're looking for, with a pretty swift turnaround so $$$ doesn't become $$$$ before you get it, go to a professional. if affection is what you're looking for, if company is what you're looking for, if you'd actually like a relationship, go to a library (it's free) or a bookstore (also free) or walk a friend's dog (yada yada) and strike up a conversation with a nice girl. ask her for coffee, make her laugh, be genuine with her. make any date you get with her inexpensive - a picnic in the park, a free open-air concert, walking in the hills, cooking dinner for her (much more cosy, and she gets to see your condo). if a woman demands treating to expensive dinners before she'll put out, she isn't into you. being temporarily cash-poor isn't your problem. thinking women won't like you because of this, might be. That's a great point blue.... I am looking for a bit of non-serious companionship also... so prostitutes wouldn't do it for me.... its just been my experience is that women use this as a filtering mechanism, consciously or not, as a determinant of whether or not you have your act together. I'm in an area where women are a bit more superficial, so perhaps that's part of the problem. Plus, I'm older (early 40's), so maybe I just hold the bar higher for myself... inexpensive dates were no problem for me in my 20's and early 30's... Link to post Share on other sites
Gold Pile Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 I was just throwing my money away on rent -- no tax benefit, etc. True! that's my other pet peeve (I got a million of em) renters who drive expensive cars, instead of saving for a home. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Gold Pile Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 Coffee and sex sounds good to me lol I'm not into coffee, but....... Link to post Share on other sites
Author notmakingsense Posted January 28, 2006 Author Share Posted January 28, 2006 I'm not into coffee, but....... Hey! I saw her first! Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 Hey! I saw her first! :laugh: :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
bluetuesday Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 it's just been my experience is that women use this as a filtering mechanism, consciously or not, as a determinant of whether or not you have your act together. yeah, i hear you. i'm sure many people filter. i just wouldn't want to be with anyone who thought worth could be measured by the cut of someone's suit. i get why money is attractive to some women (men too), but i don't think equating money with having your act together shows those women in a particularly good light. you have a nice home, which you've stretched to buy in an expensive area so you can be near your kids. there's nothing unstable about that. if you were neglecting the payments on that home to go out partying, THAT would be unstable. choose women who realise this. I'm in an area where women are a bit more superficial, so perhaps that's part of the problem. Plus, I'm older (early 40's), so maybe I just hold the bar higher for myself... inexpensive dates were no problem for me in my 20's and early 30's... ah, the crux of the matter. but it's not the women being superficial that's the whole picture. you say you're holding the bar higher too. which could either mean you won't date a woman who's not a babe, or it could mean you won't date a woman who's not right for you. if it's the first, what you want and what you can currently afford are incompatible. just sit tight until the summer. if it's the second, the criteria MUST therefore include the fact that she wouldn't care about your current financial situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Gold Pile Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 :laugh: :bunny: But I'm the lucky SOB who's going to be on her side of the pond soon. Actually, you can have her (Lishy be pissed at me! ) She treats innocent club employees to a night of wild sex, then breaks his stalking little heart. The poor bloke has to watch her all dolled up , with guys drooling on her..in his club. The chap isn't even allowed to drive on her street. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 But I'm the lucky SOB who's going to be on her side of the pond soon. Actually, you can have her (Lishy be pissed at me! ) She treats innocent club employees to a night of wild sex, then breaks his stalking little heart. The poor bloke has to watch her all dolled up , with guys drooling on her..in his club. The chap isn't even allowed to drive on her street. OMG Mr P You SO got a rep point for that post!!!!!!!!!! Fekkin Hilarious! :laugh: :lmao: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author notmakingsense Posted January 29, 2006 Author Share Posted January 29, 2006 ah, the crux of the matter. but it's not the women being superficial that's the whole picture. you say you're holding the bar higher too. which could either mean you won't date a woman who's not a babe, or it could mean you won't date a woman who's not right for you. if it's the first, what you want and what you can currently afford are incompatible. just sit tight until the summer. if it's the second, the criteria MUST therefore include the fact that she wouldn't care about your current financial situation. Very insightful blue... when I said I was holding the bar higher for myself I was really thinking about the fact that when I have money to spend, I feel better about myself, and it is therefore easier for me to attract others. Right now, I feel a bit down about my current situation -- so I guess I put myself at a disadvantage from the get-go. You are right -- if I'm going to get out there now -- I have to make sure that they won't care about my current financial situation. In my area, I'm also at a disadvantage becuase I'm percieving that local women have plenty men with who are in much stonger positions financially to choose from. Oh well, it won't hurt to just get out there and be friendly in inexpensive places and see what happens. Right now, I just want to get laid with someone nice and fun.... I wish that were easier to do! Link to post Share on other sites
RainyDayWoman Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Ya hit my pet peeve. Why do people buy flashy cars, and homes etc, when they cannot easily afford them. I have a modest condo (modest house B4 that) till recently I drove modest cars. All BS aside, I'm very comfortable financially. GP--why do you care so much what other people do with their money? in any case, the original poster wasn't saying "this is what i have, what do you have?" he wanted advice on dating... my advice would be not to meet someone and say "i have a half-million dollar condo" as that is extremely tacky. as some people said, go for coffee. do other things that don't cost much money. and when it comes time to introduce her to your place, don't make a big deal out of it. say something like "well, this is it, the reason i don't have money for anything else" in a kind of half-joking way. then she won't be thinking "why does this dude have this house and he spends no money on me?" good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
cal gal Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 I am in no way trying to be condenscending, but here in cali, as well as other parts of the country 500K is peanuts. In the midst of a divorce myself and will be putting the pad up for 1.6 mil Don't really even like the house itself really, as I am a more simple minded gal. Every day keeping up with 4000 square feet of space and wanting it to be immaculate takes time and energy, and I would prefer to be in the yard and outside in the sunshine. I could actually live in a carboard box if I needed to - all this superficial golf course living makes me want to gag! Can't wait to live in a dive house by the beach again where there are no pretenses. Link to post Share on other sites
justagirliegirl Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Ya hit my pet peeve. Why do people buy flashy cars, and homes etc, when they cannot easily afford them. I have a modest condo (modest house B4 that) till recently I drove modest cars. All BS aside, I'm very comfortable financially. Amen to that! Maybe they don't think they have anything else to offer someone? I also live very modestly but make a very good living. I guess I see what people buy the flashy stuff as it does work to impress people. Problem is you end up attracting the wrong type of people; the gold diggers. Seeing that the OP is divorced and paying alimony to someone, seems like that is what he ended up with the first time around. OP wouldn't be attractive to me anyway as no offence, but he has too much baggage financially and with small kids. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RainyDayWoman Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 i guess this became the "flaunt what you've got and pretend you hate it just so you can talk about it, assuming it even really exists" thread. in that case, i hate my $10,000,000 giant house. i wish i lived in ethiopia where there's no food or something. Link to post Share on other sites
Author notmakingsense Posted January 29, 2006 Author Share Posted January 29, 2006 I am in no way trying to be condenscending, but here in cali, as well as other parts of the country 500K is peanuts. In the midst of a divorce myself and will be putting the pad up for 1.6 mil Don't really even like the house itself really, as I am a more simple minded gal. Every day keeping up with 4000 square feet of space and wanting it to be immaculate takes time and energy, and I would prefer to be in the yard and outside in the sunshine. I could actually live in a carboard box if I needed to - all this superficial golf course living makes me want to gag! Can't wait to live in a dive house by the beach again where there are no pretenses. You are absolutely right -- 500k is peanuts. My Ex has the 1 mil house AND living with the OM Gotta love Alimony! But even her house is a joke for what you can get in some other areas! I'd love to be able to move away and into a dive-house. There just aint no such thing close enough to my kids and work... so I'll be a slave to the almighty $ for quite a while I'm afraid... Link to post Share on other sites
bluetuesday Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Oh well, it won't hurt to just get out there and be friendly in inexpensive places and see what happens. Right now, I just want to get laid with someone nice and fun.... I wish that were easier to do! good man. and as the lottery adverts in the UK say, 'think lucky'. value yourself in a way that has nothing to do with how much cha-ching you have in the bank, and they'll come a-flocking. Link to post Share on other sites
Author notmakingsense Posted January 29, 2006 Author Share Posted January 29, 2006 Amen to that! Maybe they don't think they have anything else to offer someone? I also live very modestly but make a very good living. I guess I see what people buy the flashy stuff as it does work to impress people. Problem is you end up attracting the wrong type of people; the gold diggers. Seeing that the OP is divorced and paying alimony to someone, seems like that is what he ended up with the first time around. OP wouldn't be attractive to me anyway as no offence, but he has too much baggage financially and with small kids. And there you have it. Perhaps I should just give up for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 i guess this became the "flaunt what you've got and pretend you hate it just so you can talk about it, assuming it even really exists" thread. in that case, i hate my $10,000,000 giant house. i wish i lived in ethiopia where there's no food or something. PMSL :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: Now I have to go and have a swim in my 800ft pool in the shape of a canary! Damn I hate being rich! Link to post Share on other sites
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